


The Magic of Theatre

by acautionarytale



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Hogwarts AU, Regal Believer, Slow Burn, Swan Queen - Freeform, Teachers AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-22 20:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 78,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3742801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acautionarytale/pseuds/acautionarytale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SQ Hogwarts AU - Muggle Studies Professor Emma Swan wants to put on a play at Hogwarts. Minerva McGonagall agrees to allow it only if Potions Master Regina Mills agrees to participate as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The early afternoon sun hit her directly in the eyes as she exited Slug and Jigger’s Apothecary. She squinted ineffectually down the busy street, cursing the Apothecary for its dim lighting. She blinked her eyes in irritation before turning abruptly and colliding immediately into a small body.

“Watch where you are going,” she snapped, straightening her clothes and looking for her dropped purchases.

“I’m very sorry, ma’am,” replied a small voice. “I’ve never been here before and I got distracted.” He was dressed like a Muggle in clothes that hung loosely on his small frame. Messy brown hair fell across bright eyes as he picked up her dropped package and offered it to her. He looked about the right age to be a first year. Probably Muggle-born.

“It’s quite alright, dear. We share responsibility. The sun blinded me for a moment.” She offered him a small smile as she took her bag and tucked it in her robe. She gestured at the list in his hand. “School shopping?”

His face lit up with a large grin. “Yeah! I can’t believe it.” His eyes darted around the crowded streets bustling with families shopping for the new year. His excitement was palatable. She loved the enthusiasm of Muggle-borns. Everything was still new and special. Magic lacked the taint of the real world.

“Well, best be getting back to your parents. Tell them you met your Potions professor and she expects you to have the freshest ingredients when you start.” The boy’s eyes fell to the ground and she watched his fingers tighten on the paper. She reached out and touched his hand. He flinched slightly and she felt her stomach knot.

“Mister…” 

He looked up. “Mills. Henry Mills. You’re going to be my teacher?” he asked. She stared for a moment and chuckled. He looked at her curiously.

“I’m sorry. It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Mills. My name is Regina Mills.” He smiled in understanding. Her face turned serious. “Are you here alone? I am Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and soon to be your teacher so don’t even think of lying to me.” 

“Not really,” he said, looking away. She cleared her throat. “My social worker is at the bar that led to this place.” He met her eyes with a desperate look in his eyes. “Please don’t get her in trouble. She’s taking me to a magical family after this and I…”

“Mr. Mills,” Regina interrupted. “I still have some shopping to get done today and could use an extra set of hands. We can pick up your things along the way. What time is she expecting you back?”

“6 o’clock but…”

“Then it’s settled. We’ll start at Ollivanders and get your wand.”

“The instructions Ms. Ginger gave me said to go to umm…” he looked at his paper, “Cranville Quincey’s Magical Junkshop.” His face colored. “For my wand.”

“How much did she give you?” 

He tucked the list in his back pocket and rummaged through his jeans, pulling out a handful of coins. He held out his hand for Regina to look. “Magical money is strange. It’s 493 knuts to a sickle right?”

“Very good, Mr. Mills and 17 sickles to a galleon.” She nudged the coins in his hand around. It wasn’t nearly enough to get all of his school supplies. She wondered how much of his allotted allowance was being poured down this Ms. Ginger’s throat.

“Could you call me Henry? At least until school starts?”

“I can do that Henry, but only if you call me Regina.” She winked. “Just until school starts. Then I will have to insist on Professor Mills just as I have to insist on Ollivanders. It shall be my treat.” She waved her hand absently. “A fine boy like you deserves a fine wand and Ollivanders makes the finest.”

The boy’s eyes narrowed. “What’s in it for you?”

“I don’t have to carry my flobberworm mucus. The smell is just atrocious,” she said scrunching her nose. He laughed and Regina smiled as she led the boy to the finest wand shop in all of Britain.

 

SQSQSQSQ

 

Elsewhere in Diagon Alley, two formidable witches squared off at one of Rose Lee Teabag’s outside tables. The older of the two sipped her tea calmly as the younger gestured passionately. They appeared polar opposites; one old and wizened dressed in somber wizarding robes, while the younger of the two wore a red leather jacket over a tight tank top and even tighter jeans.

“I understand your enthusiasm about this, Professor Swan. I really do, but Hogwarts has for many years upheld a proud nontheatrical tradition. I am loath to break it for a passing whim of some of your students.”

“I promise you that isn’t what this is. This would be for all the creative kids. I could even use this as a chance to get to know more of the students. It would even have academic value with the set building and stuff.”

“Set building and stuff,” Minerva McGonagall said. “If I recall, your Transfiguration N.E.W.T.s left something to be desired.”

“Ruby can help me.”

“Professor Lucas, while an excellent Transfiguration teacher, is not a suitable cosponsor. The two of you are as trustworthy as a pack of first years.” McGonagall looked over her glasses at the woman. She could see the muscles in Emma’s jaws clench. 

Emma sighed and looked out at the excited families swarming Diagon Alley. She thought she caught a glimpse of familiar red lips and brown hair. “Honestly, it would be best for you to try something smaller for your first club,” McGonagall continued. The crowd parted for a moment and she was given a clear view of her nemesis walking down the street. She was with a small boy eating ice cream. The open joy on her face made Emma’s eye twitch.

“And if it was Mills asking?” Emma asked.

McGonagall studied the disgruntled woman in front of her. “If it was Professor Mills asking, I would say yes.”

“Of course you would.” Emma snapped. She watched Regina wipe a bit of ice cream from the boy’s face. Minerva’s eyes followed hers spotting the subject of their conversation.

“This pettiness with Professor Mills is part of the reason I’m rejecting this.”

“Oh, come on, that nickname wasn’t my fault. Everyone knows Regina has an unhealthy obsession with apples.” 

McGonagall studied the smiling woman. She didn’t recognize the boy, but it was pleasant seeing Mills so happy. An idea struck her. “I’ve changed my mind,” she said, folding her hands in front of her. “I’ll allow your play.” Emma’s face lit up. “On one condition.” Emma narrowed her eyes suspiciously. 

“What do I have to do? Apologize to Mills? I can do that.”

“Not quite, though I’m sure an apology wouldn’t hurt matters. If you are serious about this, I’ll allow it if Professor Mills agrees to co-sponsor it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fixed some of the spacing issues

“I don’t know what you expected. I told you it would be a hard sell.”

“I know. I just thought McGonagall would be more open to it.”

“I can’t believe you suggested working with me,” Professor Ruby Lucas said, with a snort. “McGonagall probably had war flashbacks.” Emma smiled into her beer.

“Well, she’s the one that brought up Transfiguration and you are the Transfiguration teacher.” Ruby laughed as her friend continued. “I just can’t believe she’s insisting on Mills. I probably could have gotten Flitwick interested. He’s a patron of the arts and if I promised a musical in the future, I’m sure he would have been all for it.”

“He does run the choir. How did Regina even come into the conversation?” Ruby asked, signaling for another round.

“She was walking by with some kid. Gave Minerva the perfect example to hold up as a bastion of maturity. Everything that woman does fucks up my life in some way.”

“She was just walking by with some kid, Emma. I highly doubt it was some grand conspiracy on her part,” Ruby said. The handsome bartender appeared with their drinks and she gave him a wolfish grin.

Emma groaned and dropped her head to the bar. “I know. I know. It’s just… she…”

Ruby sighed and pushed the fresh beer Emma’s way. “Who was the kid?”

“I don’t know. He looked about ten. They were really chummy. I didn’t know she had any other family besides the great and terrible Zelena.”

“I think you mean ‘wonderful’ and she doesn’t that I know of.”

“Zelena’s secret love child?”

“Blasphemy!”

“Well, if her biggest fan doesn’t know than it must not be true,” Emma said.

Ruby shoved her. “Oh, shut up. I just find it impressive that someone can look that good covered in green.” Emma laughed.

“Uh huh. I’m sure. Regina’s?”

“I think we’d have noticed if she had a child,” Ruby said. “Well, at least you would have with your unhealthy obsession with her.” Emma elbowed her roughly. “Hey!That was right in the boob,” Ruby said, laughing and rubbing herself. The bartender seemed to appreciate the sight.

They lapsed into an easy silence bred of years of familiarity. The bar had a small crowd in their late twenties and early thirties enjoying the late summer night.

“Why don’t you just ask her?” Ruby eventually asked.

“About the boy? I doubt she’d tell me.”

“About the play, you dumbass. Regina likes theatre and McGonagall is right. Your feud needs to end. It’s annoying being friends with both of you when you are at each other’s throats all the time.”

“That’s on her. She thinks I’m a joke,” Emma said, peeling the label off her beer bottle.

“You had half the school calling her the Evil Queen.”

“I apologized for that.”

“Saying the Evil Queen was hot and that she should take it as a compliment is not an apology.”

“I still stand by that,” Emma said.

“So, you think Regina is hot?”

“What? I didn’t say that.”

“It was implied. Seriously though is that what this has been about? Unresolved sexual tension? It would make a lot of sense.”

“Ruby.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Stop saying.” Emma drained her beer. “Even if I did get her to agree, I don’t think I’d even want to run it with her.”

“Too much time to pine after her?”

“Ruby. Seriously, shut it,” she said with a glare. “Look, you know how she can be. She’s a controlling asshole. She’d probably take over the whole thing.” Emma rubbed her face. “She’d never agree any way. She hates me and if she did agree, it would only be to make my life miserable.”

Ruby sighed loudly and tilted her head back. “I honestly don’t think she cares about you all that much.”

“What about that faculty meeting where she made me look like an idiot?”

“Which one? She does that at every faculty meeting.”

“My point exactly!  
“She usually has a good reason, Emma.”

“Well, what about the time she dyed my hair puke color?”

“That was clearly payback for stealing from her potions supply to dye your class’s hair fun colors. Dude, she only responds to things you do.”

“So, you think this is my fault?”

“Seems like it to me.”

“Why can’t you ask her for me? You’re kind of her friend.”

“I am her friend, but I won’t do it. Don’t be coward, Emma Swan. Extend the olive branch. I’ll even encourage her to take it.”

“This is going to be a disaster.”

“It’s worth a try. Just apologize. Swallow your pride. For the kids, right?”

 

  
SQSQSQSQ

 

  
“It’s very flattering,” Zelena said, handing the letter to Kathryn Midas to read. “So, she’s the reason you’ve been dubbed the Evil Queen.”

“Yes. I can’t help, but be suspicious. It’s too flattering. The woman hates me.”

“I don’t think she hates you. I think she just enjoys getting under your skin,” Kathryn said.

“Trust me. She hates me. Could you imagine us trying to put a performance together? It would be a disaster. Worst than Professor Beery’s attempt all those years ago.”

“The Fountain of Fair Fortune is still banned at the WADA,” Zelena remarked casually.

“I wonder why she asked you,” Kathryn said, passing the letter back to Regina. “Ruby Lucas would make more sense.”

“McGonagall probably put her up to this. I can’t imagine she’d allow the two of them to do something like this.”

“I think you should do it. I would have killed for an opportunity like this when I was a student. You probably would have, too. I know you always wanted to take art, but Mother... Stage crew is an art.”

Regina hummed and took a sip of her tea. “Perhaps.”

“You already sent her an owl saying no, haven’t you?” Zelena asked, with a heavy sigh.

“Not yet.”

“But you’ve already made up your mind.” Kathryn said, searching her face.

“If it was anyone else asking I would think it was a lovely idea, but I don’t trust Swan not to turn it into a catastrophe. She would probably fill it exclusively with her favorites and they all hate me.”

“She does have her favorites,” Kathryn agreed.

“Recruit your own. She’s Muggle Studies Professor, right? It’s not like she teaches all of the students. It’s understandable that she would have favorites”

“I don’t,” Kathryn said pointedly.

“She’s immature, Zelena. It’s as simple as that,” Regina grumbled.

“Well, no wonder McGonagall would want you paired with her. You are as serious as a brick wall. Just consider it, Regina. The woman seems serious about making amends.”

“Because she wants something.”

“It would be nice if you two stopped fighting,” Kathryn threw in.

“And you think that would happen if we worked closely for months?” Regina asked incredulously.

“She’s really not that bad. She’s just rough around the edges.”

“Is she interested in women? Maybe you two could work out your tensions that way?”

“Zelena!” Regina snapped.

“I really don’t know how you spend months cooped up in that castle without some kind of extracurricular activities.”

“She might be,” Kathryn said thoughtfully. “Now that I think about it, a lot of her behavior towards Regina is very school yard crush. You should see how close they stand when they are fighting.”

“Kathryn!”

“Is she pretty?” Zelena asked with a wicked smirk.

“Gorgeous.” Zelena oh’ed and laughed while Regina rubbed her temples.

Regina pulled out her pocket watch and flicked it open. “I hate you both and on that note it’s time for me to go.”

“Aw, Regina. I never get to see you!”

“We’ll get dinner before the year starts,” Regina said, pulling on her light blazer. “It was great seeing you both.” She smiled and left them to their cooled teas.

“Seriously, though?” Zelena asked Kathryn.

“There are a lot of lingering stares.”

“Oh, that’s just delightful. We need to get her to do this.” Kathryn just laughed.

 

SQSQSQSQ

 

Regina apparated onto a small road lined with homes. The loud crack echoed down the street, but no one seemed to hear it. The sun was just beginning to set and she could still hear the sounds of children playing. It made her smile to herself. Maybe she would find Henry just as happy as those children sounded.

After her tense conversation with his social worker, she had obtained the contact information of the family he would be staying with before the school year started. She politely waited about a week before checking in and scheduling a meeting. Henry had struck a chord with her and she found herself thinking about him often. She needed to make sure things were working out for him.

As excited as he was about going to live with a magical family, she knew it was likely they were little different than the family he had just left. Still, they seemed polite enough and she remained hopeful.

Their home rested snug between two identical houses. She wondered how much of the neighborhood was magical. She assumed they placed Henry here because it seemed like a place a Muggle-born it would be comfortable in. It was very Muggle-like.

At her sharp knock, a young girl with serious eyes appeared at the door. She wore jeans and an oversized t-shirt. “Please tell your guardians, Regina Mills is here.” The girl nodded and shut the door. Regina looked at her watch while she waited. It was of the magical variety and she stared as the many hands meandered around their circle.

A portly gentleman opened the door after a few moments. “Ms. Mills.” She nodded as he pulled open the screen door to let her in. “I’m Seamus Crushbold. Let me get the boy for you.” She stepped past him delicately.

“Henry!” he yelled, startling her a bit. She spotted two more children peering around a door and wondered how many more were lurking about the home.

The boy came stumbling down the stairs sullenly, but his face transformed when he spotted her. A large grin over took his face at the sight of her. “Regina!” he shouted, rushing as if to hug her. He hesitated at the last minute and she reached out and squeezed his bicep.

“It’s good to see you, Henry. I thought we could take a walk,” she said, looking toward Mr. Crushbold. He nodded and the two left.

They started down the road as dusk approached. “I read in a book that mosquitoes come out the most at sundown and sunrise. You know when the sun is either coming up of going down,” Henry said after a few minutes, rubbing his bare arms.

“Hm. I wonder why that is.”

“Probably something to do with their life cycles. Insects don’t live very long.”

“They don’t,” Regina said, flipping her hair out of her face. “Are you getting bitten?”

“I don’t think so. Its just an interesting fact,” he said with a wry smile.

“There’s a potion that repels all insects. It’s wonderful for outdoor travel.”

“Muggles have that, too,” he said, looking at his feet. “You know, I really thought things would be different, but it’s more of the same.” He looked at her and she raised her eyebrows. “Okay, there are some cool things,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It is magic, Regina.” He gestured back toward the way they came. “They aren’t bad. It’s just… they are just like the last family. It’s just not… I know you tried to warn me.”

“You can spend the winter breaks at school. The school is closed during the summer so you will have to return here.”

“Will I really like Hogwarts that much?”

“I spent all of my winter breaks at school and I had a family to go home to,” she said with a sad smile.

“You’ll be there?”

“Yes, but remember I’ll be Professor Mills there,” she said giving him a wry smile. “I’ll always be available to you though, Henry.”

“Thanks.” He scuffed his sneaker against the ground. “Why are so nice to me?”

“I see a lot of myself in you, Henry. I like to nurture great intelligences,” she said simply.

“So you think I’ll be Ravenclaw?” he asked.

She smiled down at him. “You’ve been reading the copy of Hogwarts, A History I got you.”

“Well, the spell books aren’t much use yet. Plus, I’d like to know about this place I’m going to be living.”

“Very fair, my dear boy,” Regina said proudly. They continued down the street quietly for a little bit.

“Other than classes what is there to do?”

“There are a bunch of clubs and of course Quidditch. That wizarding sport I was telling you about the other day. But aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? Classes can be very challenging the first year.”

“I’ve always been good at school. It’s just hard to imagine a world without TV.”

“Well, I was thinking about co-sponsoring a drama club,” Regina said, tentatively.

“Really?” Henry asked excitedly. “I’ve always done those at school. They don’t need any equipment so I could, you know, afford it.”

“I’m not sure I’ll do it. My sister is the more theatrical of the two of us. Have you ever heard of the play Wicked?”

“Of course. The Wizard of Oz thing where the wicked witch is actually good.”

“Yes. She’s in a magical reproduction off Diagon Alley. It’s very popular.”

“That’s awesome. I think you should do it. Plays are a lot of fun. We could hang out and stuff,” he said, giving her a shy smile.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I really hope you do it.” She squeezed his shoulder and they turned back toward his temporary home.

 

SQSQSQSQ

 

As Potions Master of Hogwarts, Regina found other potions masters either held her in high esteem or dismissed her as simply a school teacher. It frustrated her to no end at first, but she didn’t take it lying down. She spent most of the summer months writing papers, conducting research and shutting down all of her critics. Working on a play would do nothing good for her credibility. It would reinforce the idea that she was nothing more than a lowly teacher. She could hear the mocking voice of er colleagues already.

At one point, she had imagined a very different life for herself, far away from the judgmental eyes of her peers. All she had wanted was a simple home with children always at her feet and a partner that loved her. That dream and her heart died with her childhood sweetheart, Daniel.

Her students and career had always been enough. Filling in the gaps in her life where companionship that was supposed to fill. This year though as she wrapped up her last minute projects and put the affairs of the Mills estate in order, she felt something missing. She felt the lack of all she could have had. She tapped her quill against her lips as she stared at the two letters in front of her. Henry Mills and Emma Swan.

Her mother had always told her that love was weakness. She knew it was true, but she also knew it could be the most powerful thing in the world. Love devastated. The affairs she had came and went, but she had never allowed herself the weakness or pleasure of falling for it again. Henry was an anomaly. She was already letting him in without a thought and it scared her.

There was nothing she could do about Swan. She had burned that bridge years ago. The idea of working with her now left her feeling conflicted.

Back when they were young, they could have been something different. If only Daniel hadn’t come first... She could still remember the devastation on Emma’s young face when she broke her heart. She couldn’t blame the woman for hating her. She would hate her too.

A pecking at the window startled her from her thoughts. She flung the window open and her dear, sweet Rociante flew in. “Perfect timing, dear. I need the distraction. What have you got for me?” He flew over to her desk dropping three letters before taking his perch on his favorite statue. She scooped them up and took her seat again. She easily recognized the handwriting on all of them. She’d been staring at Emma Swan’s scrawl for days and her best friends’ handwriting was a given.

Her solid silver letter open slip though the envelope and she pulled out the parchment. Emma's letter read simply, “What’s the verdict?” She tossed it across her desk and grabbed Ruby’s. It read, “You should do it.” Kathryn’s just said, “Do it, you idiot.”

A large barn owl flew in the open window and dropped a letter on her desk. She groaned loudly at the familiar sight of her sister’s owl and the two owls stared at her. Zelena’s owl hooted loudly at her before flying back out the window. She didn’t bother with the letter opener this time and just tore it open. “Littlest sister, get yourself some.” She crumbled the sweet smelling parchment and threw it across the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Even with the house elves running around preparing for the new school year, Hogwarts still felt unnaturally quiet without the students. Regina had been displeased to hear that Swan had arrived in the castle before her. She was convinced the woman had arrived early simply to harass her about the play and she had other things to do. After she agreed to co-sponsor the play, Swan had sent at least one owl a day. 

To her surprise, the woman completely ignored her. Regina watched her rush about the castle muttering about network connections and strange acronyms she didn’t understand like DSL and USB. She felt ridiculously out of touch with Muggle Studies. There were few wizards that cared about the subject and since she spent the majority of her year in a place where most Muggle technology didn’t work it seemed pointless to learn.

The night before the students were to arrive, she had a quiet dinner in her rooms. She made it through two glasses of cider before deciding to pay Miss Swan a visit. She started at Swan’s rooms, but found them empty. With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the fifth floor Muggle Studies Classroom. She knew she had found the troublesome woman when she heard a muffled curse come from around the corner. 

The door to the classroom was wide open. She hovered in the doorway observing the frantic woman. Old copies of Home Life and Social Skills of British Muggles lay in stacks mixed with modern texts. A few appeared to be books actually published by Muggles. A couple computers modified to work without standard electricity were set up on desks. 

Swan’s trademark red leather jacket was draped over a worn Muggle computer chair. She had her hair tied up and wore a tight black tank top. Regina traced the lines of the woman’s arms in appreciation cursing her sister’s constant innuendos. She found herself momentarily wondering what a sexual relationship with the woman would be like as Emma bent over to type something giving Regina a spectacular view of her ass. Swan was certainly an attractive witch. If only she wasn’t such an asshole and well… the past wasn’t the past.

Music played softly from an old magical record player in the corner. It stuck out in a strange juxtaposition to all the Muggle artifacts scattered about the room. Regina cleared her throat to no avail. Emma was entirely engrossed with the computer so she completely missed Regina’s approach. Regina licked her lips and leaned over Emma’s shoulder to look at the computer, whispering, “Muggles sure like to make things complicated.”

Emma flipped around, falling back against the desk. “Bloody hell Regina! Are you trying to kill me?” Regina smiled wickedly and Emma shook her head turning back to the computer. “Of course you are,” she sighed. “For your information, it’s not the Muggles at fault. It’s the damned Muggle-borns. My classroom is the only spot within the school that doesn’t have an anti-Muggle charm. They keep trying to break in to hack my system. They have more advanced technology than I do so it’s hard.” Emma gestured toward the computers. “The funding for Muggle Studies sucks and a lot of this stuff is costly because its Muggle made.” 

“And all of it is necessary?” Regina asked genuinely curious still standing much too close. She blamed the cider.

“Nowadays?” Emma asked, shifting away. “Definitely. Muggle technology has become a huge part of their lives and the students really need to learn about it all to avoid detection. To live a normal safe life out in the Muggle world they need to know this stuff, but Muggle Studies is a soft subject so…” Emma trailed off.

“No funding,” Regina finished looking past her at the computer, forgetting her animosity toward the blonde as she contemplated the implications. Emma seemed to have forgotten as well as she ranted. 

Emma seemed to remember whom she was speaking to after a moment. “But you didn’t come here to talk a soft subject, Potions Master. What do you want? I have a lot to do.” 

Regina rolled her eyes at the hostility. “I came to talk about the play, but you seem to have your hands full here.” Regina tilted her head and studied the other professor. “If you are this overwhelmed without the students even here, how are you going to be when they are here?”

“I’ll be fine, Regina.”

“I’m not so sure I trust you. I’m starting to think this would just be a giant waste of my time.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “No! No. I’m completely committed. I just need this ready for tomorrow and the students. This won’t be a problem,” Emma rambled. “I was just complaining. Please don’t back out now. The kids need this!”

Regina leaned against a desk and crossed her arms. “So, I was right. The play is conditional on my participation.” 

Emma’s mouth opened and closed until she finally deflated looking sheepish. “I… maybe.” 

Regina rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Lovely.”

“Why’d you agree to do it if you knew?” Emma asked suspiciously.

“I thought it would benefit the students,” Regina replied simply, looking down at the computer screen with disinteret.

“The students. Sure.” Emma said sarcastically.

“Are you trying to imply that I don’t care about the students?” Regina asked looking up with narrowed eyes.

“Maybe I am,” Emma said crossing her arms. “You aren’t exactly the most popular teacher. To be honest, I don’t really think you give a shit about the students.”

“How dare you!” Regina exclaimed in disbelief. “I’ve devoted my life to this school.”

“You told me yourself. You only care about money and power,” Emma said smugly.

Regina’s face fell. “Those were the words of a seventeen year old girl,” Regina said slowly as color rose on her cheeks. “You know nothing about me now and what I do with my time. I grew up Emma. You might want to try that sometime.”

“Fuck you, Regina,” Emma growled.

“You tried and failed,” Regina retorted, eyes roving the woman’s face. The muscle in Emma’s jaw twitched and she knew she had hit her mark. For a moment, she wondered if Emma would actually take a swing. 

She took a step back before turning away. She sighed heavily. “What do my motives even matter to you? I thought we’d established that you can’t do this without me.” Emma bit her cheek and stared at Regina’s back as the woman ran her fingers over the stacks of textbooks scattered about. “Is this your way of giving up on the play in a way you can blame me?” Emma seethed with anger as Regina waved her hand dismissively before she could answer. “I didn’t come here to be attacked by you Miss Swan. Do you want to do this or not?” she asked still looking away.

“I do.” Emma growled.

“Then grow up and get over yourself,” Regina said, walking toward the door. She hesitated and said, “For the record, I really liked your idea. Why else would I ever to agree to work with someone like you, Miss Swan?” 

“It’s Professor Swan!” Emma yelled after her, but she had already gone.

 

SQSQSQSQ

 

The hat began its song and Emma tuned out. For a while, she hadn’t paid the first years any mind. She only dealt with third years and older in her classes so she used to watch the ceremony with disinterest. The Muggle-borns were getting sneakier now and they came in much more tech reliant. She wandered between the tables looking for anything suspicious. You’d think the excitement of magic would far outshine the trolls of the Internet, but alas.

“Henry Mills,” Ruby called from her list. The scrawny boy she had seen walking in Diagon Alley with Regina climbed up onto the stool. Ruby in her flamboyant rainbow hat and vivid red cloak placed the hat gently on his head. She stole a glance at Regina and found her leaning forward in anticipation. Figures he’d be related to her, Emma grumbled to herself. She’s probably hoping for Ravenclaw.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the hat shouted immediately to cheers from the Gryffindor table. Emma grinned victoriously, watching Regina deflate. She wondered how the boy was related to the woman.

During dessert, she took to wandering the tables again, snagging electronics where she could find them. She tried to spread the word amongst the older students that they could learn about Muggle technology if they took her class. She was pretty sure she had convinced a few that had been eying the devices.

After the feast, she searched for Regina, hoping to try to smooth over things after the night before. She hadn’t meant to attack the other woman. She had been putting all of her effort into her system and it was giving her nothing but trouble. Regina appeared and gave her a convenient target. She went around a corner and spotted her mark speaking quietly with the boy. A piece of parchment was passed between them and Emma distinctly heard her say map. She watched Regina pat him on the shoulder and send him on his way.

“And they say I play favorites,” Emma said casually, when the boy was out of earshot. Regina looked to her startled. Emma held up her hands. “Hey. I always thought it was crazy that we don’t give first years maps. He a cousin or something?”

“No,” Regina said. “He’s just a boy I met wandering Diagon Alley.” Emma’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Why did you give him a map then?” Emma asked.

“He’s obviously not as clever as I thought if he ended up in your house. He’s a good boy. Any advantage will be shared amongst the Gryffindor first years so it certainly can’t be classified as favoritism. What do you care anyway?”

“I’m just curious. He’s obviously special to you in some way.”

“I don’t see how it’s any of your business,” Regina said, folding her arms across her waist defensively. “What do you want from me? First, you accuse me of not caring about the students then when I do it’s suspicious to you.” Regina said. Emma’s appearance surprised her. It made her uneasy especially after she had allowed herself that moment of weakness with Henry. Now she had to defend it to someone she despised. “That boy has no one. He has nothing. I wanted him to have something. Is that enough for you?” Regina looked up at the ceiling. “Bloody Baron’s ghost. We have our problems, but I’m not the devil. I’m not evil.”

Emma looked down ashamed. “I never meant for that to catch on.”

“I’m sure,” Regina breathed out.

“He’s an orphan?” Emma asked quietly.

“Yes, Professor Swan. He’s an orphan.” Regina clenched her teeth. “Now if that is all, I would very much like to have a drink before I retire.”

“Regina. Wait. We need to talk about the play and stuff.”

“Now you want to talk. Great.” She sighed loudly contemplating her options. “Fine. You are welcome to join me for a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted.”

“Got anything stronger?” Emma asked, giving her a shy smile. Regina rolled her eyes and with an exasperated shrug turned and headed to her chambers.

Regina looked over her shoulder. “Are you coming, Miss Swan?”

“Yeah. Yeah. You know shit like that is why the nickname stuck,” Emma said running to catch up to her. Regina raised her eyebrow. “The apples.”

“I’m well aware of my proclivities. I simply refuse to give up something I enjoy to dispel an unfortunate nickname.” She paused. “And honestly, fear is quite an effective tool.” Emma laughed as she followed her.

Regina led her to her rooms and Emma was pleased to see the size mirrored her own. Where hers was sparsely decorated though, Regina’s looked like a professional had decorated it. The colors were monochrome and two large horse statues adorned the fireplace. The furniture was tasteful yet still managed to look comfortable. With a flick of her wand, Regina lit the fire. Its glow gave the room a more amicable vibe and Emma tried to relax. 

Regina made her way to a small wet bar and poured two fingers of an amber liquid for each of them. She took the glass offered and sat on the loveseat Regina gestured to. Emma was just taking a sip when Regina dropped a pile of books in front of her. “My sister recommended these for us to read.”

“You would have homework for me,” Emma said, picking the top one up and flipping through it. 

“I skimmed through the parts I thought would be important. I have some ideas about how we should go about this, but would like to hear what you have planned first and we can go from there,” Regina slid onto the couch across from her with a quill and notepad. 

“Oh, um well. I thought we could hang signup sheets for auditions and stage crew in the Great Hall and go from there.”

“I suppose that would work,” Regina said, but didn’t appear convinced. 

“Well, do you have any better ideas?”

“I thought perhaps we could make this more like a drama club, but this was your brain child. I’ll go along with what you decide,” Regina said looking down at her notepad.

“Seriously?” Emma asked over her glass.

“Yes, Professor Swan. Seriously. I want one thing, though.”

“Of course you do.”

“I want control of the stage crew.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

They decided to meet the rest of the week after dinner to iron out the details of the play. Emma returned to her rooms exhausted and a little nervous about the sheer magnitude of what they were trying to accomplish. She tossed the books on her bed and changed out of her robes. To tell the truth, talking to Regina about all the things they needed to decide had convinced her that she probably wouldn’t have gotten far with just Ruby’s help. Regina’s anal retention was actually going to help her for once.

She climbed onto her bed and pulled the pile into her lap. The first few books focused on stagecraft and she pushed them to the side. She picked up the book The Director’s Mind and a slim paperback slid out from under it. She picked it up and immediately blushed. Women danced lustfully around the straightforward title. She was fairly sure Regina hadn’t meant to include Sapphic Theatre with the others. With a laugh, she fell back onto the bed pushing the other books off to the side and began reading, happily daydreaming of ways to torture Regina with the slipup.


	4. Chapter 4

Regina began the school year with Advanced Potions class. Her seventh years knew what she expected from her N.E.W.T. level students at this point and seemed slightly less frenetic than they were the year before. She started them off with a complex, but familiar potion to ease them back into the work and most seemed at ease with it. The Gryffindor and Hufflepuff first years were straight after. 

It was an unfortunately difficult schedule. It wasn't easy to jump from advanced theoretical discussions and potions making to rudimentary terminology and teaching how to properly cut roots to 9 year olds, but it was Henry’s class and that some how made it better. 

She hummed to herself as she prepared her classroom for the young ones. She vaguely recalled Harry Potter’s nephew would be in her class. She hoped being troublesome didn’t run on that side of the family.

Just as she was finishing setting up, her door swung open clashing loudly against the wall. A sheepish Henry looked around and then shot her a proud grin from the door. He was the first to arrive. 

A couple Gryffindors appeared behind him and she kept her face serious as she nodded at them. It appeared he had made some friends. Her prediction had been correct. He was sharing. She hoped it meant that she didn’t have to worry about first year Gryffindor’s being late this year.

“Mr. Mills.”

“Professor Mills,” he said tilting his head toward her. He took his seat smiling like he knew a secret that none of the other children did. She didn’t have a fan club like Swan. She was the feared Evil Queen and she liked it that way. She watched a pair of boys lean in and start whispering to him occasionally sneaking looks at her. They were probably informing the boy of her reputation.

As she started the class she did her best to convince the students that her reputation had good cause. She was snappy and short and glared menacingly. Potions could be a dangerous subject and it wouldn’t do for her students to be careless in her class. A healthy dose of fear kept her students safe and she would not feel bad about that. It’s not like she taught History of Magic where her students were never in danger of hurting themselves or others. 

After she was sure they were good and scared, she let them get their hands dirty. She gave Henry a sly look as she began explaining how to make the Insectum potion. He started laughing when he heard the name.

“Mr. Mills, since you seem to think the lesson is so funny, can you explain to me what the Insectum potion does?”

“It repels bugs and insects,” he said a little smugly. 

“Good. Can anyone tell me the most dangerous ingredient in this potion?” she continued allowing a Hufflepuff who clearly had some personal experience to answer.

At the end of the lesson as the students were cleaning up, she announced the play and the auditions. Henry nearly fell out of his chair in excitement while the other students tittered with interest. 

She explained the benefits of joining the stage crew and showed them the signup sheets. Her stage crew list was featured prominently on her classroom door while the auditions one was posted off in a dark corner. A few of her seventh years had already signed up after hearing about some of the spells they would be using. Everyone wanted an edge when it came to their N.E.W.T.s.

As the students were filing out, Henry approached her desk tentatively. She looked up at him and said sternly, “Mr. Mills. You don’t want to be late.”

He patted his pocket. “I’ve got my route all planned out. I just wanted to thank you for this. It’s been a lifesaver.” He scrunched up his face thinking about the moving staircases. “Literally.” A fond smile snuck onto her face. 

“You’re welcome, dear. I trust you haven’t told anyone where you got it.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” he said with an exaggerated wink. “I told them a friend gave it to me. They don’t know me well enough to know better.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly. “I’m glad you’re doing the play.”

“Me too, Henry.”

“Mr. Mills,” he corrected impishly. 

“Right you are. Run along, dear. You don’t want to get on the bad side of your professors so early,” she said. “What do you have next?” 

“Transfiguration.”

Regina smiled. “Professor Lucas is a big softie, but you shouldn’t be late.”

“Is it true she’s a werewolf?” he asked with wide eyes.

“It is,” she replied carefully.

“That is SO cool,” he said, bouncing on his heels. “I’ll see you later, Professor Mills,” he yelled bounding out of the room. She shook her head softly at his antics.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

News of the upcoming auditions swept through the common rooms and when rumors that The Fountain of Fair Fortune was being considered started spreading, a copies of The Tales of Beedle the Bard E became a commodity. 

It seemed like the perfect alternative to Quidditch for the creative types. Students put off by the idea of the eccentric Muggle Studies Professor were soothed by the idea of the talented Professor Mills running the stage and any student terrified by the Evil Queen felt sure Professor Swan would protect them. All were hoping for the chance to watch one of their legendary brawls. 

That night they met in Regina’s room again. Emma preferred it that way even though she would rather die than admit it. She wasn’t ready for Regina’s presence in her rooms. She would happily continue invading Regina’s space and exhausting her liquor supply until Regina decided to change things. Regina seemed to prefer it as well. Presumably they could have worked in one of their offices, but Regina seemed to favor her rooms. Emma guessed it was the convenient access to her liquor cabinet, but that could have just been her.

“Have you looked over the books I gave you?” Regina asked as they got settled.

Emma’s face burst into a large grin. “Oh yeah. They were very interesting.” She pulled her new favorite book out of her robes. “Especially this one,” she said displaying the title for Regina. Regina’s mouth opened slowly and the color drained from her face. She reached out to steal it, but Emma moved too quickly, leaving Regina’s hand hanging awkwardly in the air.

“I’m not quite sure how we would be able to incorporate it into what we are doing, but it’s a fascinating read as I’m sure you know,” Emma said.

Regina put her face in her hands. “I’m going to murder my sister.”

Emma laughed merrily. “Your sister is something special.”

“She’s an asshole,” Regina grumbled. 

“Some things never change,” Emma said with a fond smile remembering when Regina would go off on tangents about her insane older sister.

Regina’s head shot up in surprise before she composed herself. “I guess not.” 

Emma shrugged awkwardly making a mental note to avoid giving Regina reminders of their past. It was clearly something Regina wanted to pretend never happened. “Do you want it back?” Emma asked carefully.

“Are you actually reading it?” Regina asked taking a sip from her cider.

Emma blushed. “Maybe.”

“You can hang on to it then,” Regina said, pulling out her notes clearly intent on moving passed her embarrassment and getting on to business. “When do you want to have the auditions?”

“Two weeks from now? It’ll give them time to settle and prepare.”

“That should be fine. It’ll give us time as well.”

“There’s a large unused classroom on the fifth floor near mine that would work as a rehearsal space,” Emma said.

“That should be fine. Are you still set on The Fountain of Fair Fortune?” Regina asked.

“Yeah. I spend so much time talking about Muggles it would be nice to work with something magical for a change.”

Regina nodded before taking a dainty sip. “An introduction to the classics then.” Regina set her glass down on the table between them. “How much do you know about why theatrical performances were banned from Hogwarts, Professor Swan?”

“Um. Not much.” She scratched her head. “McGonagall said something about a fire and a duel.”

“The play you are suggesting was the exact one that caused the ban.”

“Really? How auspicious."

“I think you mean inauspicious, dear. You might want to stick to smaller words you actually know.” 

“Oh, shut up Regina. I misspoke.” 

“I’m sure. If you are sure, we should just get on with it.”

“You don’t sound optimistic,” Emma said.

Regina pursed her lips. “I don’t really have a lot of reason to be. Now do I? I’ve made a list of all the supplies stage crew should need if we decided to do The Fountain and collected a copy of the script they used previously.”

“Wow,” Emma said taking the list. “You're prepared.”

“I don’t do anything halfway, Miss Swan.”

“And you didn’t have any better ideas,” Emma snarked back with a lopsided grin that Regina remembered well. It had been a comfort to her during some of her darkest times as an adolescent. 

Regina rolled her eyes. “This is your show. You are supposed to have the ideas. I’m the technical support.” 

Emma just shrugged. “I didn’t expect you to be so reasonable about all of this,” she said swirling her cup.

Regina studied Emma like she hadn’t in years. They hadn't had a moment like this where they were alone and not ready to rip each other to pieces for a long time. In fact before the letter, the last time they had interacted had involved nothing but sharp disdainful words. She supposed this indifference was preferable. There had been nothing but animosity between them for so long now.

All those years ago, their friendship had meant the world to her. It may have only taken place during the Winter breaks, but it had been special. She let out a breath of air and licked her lips. Emma’s hands fidgeted nervously with the cup as she waited for Regina’s response.

Emma had been a strange constant in her life during a tumultuous time. The first morning of the holidays, Regina would arrive in the Great Hall anxiously wringing her hands sure that her friend wouldn’t be there that year. But every year Emma appeared with her hair a wild mess of curls and a sleepy look. She would plop down next to her like she did it every day even though she hadn’t since the year before. They were so far from that now and it was mostly her fault.

“I have my moments,” Regina said with a sniff and a long pull of her cider. She wished it were the whiskey from the night before.

She wondered as she looked into her nearly empty glass how different things would be had she not shoved Emma away so roughly. Maybe they could have stayed friends. More had seemed so tempting at the time though and she had done what was needed to protect herself. It didn’t matter really. They were both better off. Probably. She couldn’t help but wonder what could have been as she looked at Emma now sitting calmly in her living room. It really didn’t matter. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Regina and Emma continued to meet after all of the evening meals. They found themselves making small talk during their meetings, talking about their students and the difficulty of making Ruby’s Wolfsbane potion every month without accidentally poisoning her. Emma acted like she cared instead of dismissing the difficulty like she used to at all the staff meetings. It was startling how easy it was.

“The stage crew list is looking is looking pretty light,” Emma said later in the week as she contemplated the woman working in front of her. It amazed Emma that the passionate girl she once knew had become the cold calculated woman in front of her. It was everything the girl had hated or at least professed to hate in her mother.

“It’s fine,” Regina said without looking up from her notes.

“I checked the Great Hall this morning and it only had two names on it. I don’t see how that is fine.” Regina pulled a piece of parchment from underneath her from notes and shoved it at her. 

Emma’s jaw dropped. “Holy crap, Regina. This is full.” 

“Yes,” Regina said, as she continued to make notations on her parchment. “I’ll need a large group to get everything done in such a short time.”

Emma stared at her in wonder for a long moment, but Regina didn’t to notice. Emma looked over the list. “Wait. Ashley and Jefferson don’t even take Potions anymore.”

“Your point?” Regina asked, scratching something off her list.

“I can’t believe it,” Emma said, shaking her head as she read some of the other names. “You recruited.”

“So what? I may be the Evil Queen, but I’m respected. I stopped by the Art Class and there was interest. Some of the students just needed more information before they committed.”

“You didn’t come to Muggle Art.”

“Why would I? I figured you’d be encouraging them.” She looked up catching Emma’s guilty expression. “A miscalculation on my part apparently. I’ll try and make some time.”

“No. No. I can handle it.”

Regina eyed her with distrust before sighing and returning her attention to her work. “Be sure you do.”

“I will.”

“The Board of Trustees has agreed to a small budget, but most of the supplies will have to come from us. Hagrid agreed to provide the lumber required for the set. We’ll probably need some of the budget for cloth and paint. My students want to make the costumes. Ashley promised to be frugal. That should save some money. The Fountain is public domain so we don’t have to pay for the rights. Sound and lighting will go to the more advanced Charms students on crew. Can you think of any more costs we might have?”

Emma looked at her notes and then back up at Regina. “Can’t think of any.” 

“Good,” Regina said, scribbling something across the parchment.

There was a Muggle film Emma had seen a few years prior. Some comic book turned into a movie. It had a surprise lesbian subplot that had made her cry. The girl had fallen for a girl in high school and loved her wrists. She thought of it now as she watched Regina write. The woman had beautiful wrists. 

She wondered if Regina ever thought about the days they were friends. Regina had told her that it had all been a joke her friends had come up with. It had been easy to believe when they were so often at odds. The little smiles and laughs she managed to startle out of the woman over the last few days were painting a different picture. Sparks of the Regina she thought she knew were escaping. 

Maybe everyone had been right all along about Regina. Emma knew from experience that the woman lashed out when pushed. Perhaps she had pushed too hard at the wrong time all those years ago. 

When Daniel had died, something had died in Regina. She had wanted to be the one that helped ease the pain, but maybe she had just made it worse. 

Plenty of crushes had come and gone. A love or two in there, but her feelings for Regina had always been there somewhere in her heart, even with the crushing rejection. She had tried to hate her, but it never really stuck. Instead she had been left with a suffocating sadness that she had willfully taken out on her foe. It had taken her years to accept it, but looking at the women’s wrists now she knew she really hadn't. Not even close.

“I guess we are good to go.”


	5. Chapter 5

A few days before the auditions, Emma burst into Regina’s office without knocking. The woman was standing at her desk looking fondly at something in her hand. Her head snapped up at the intrusion and her hand clenched into a fist around the item. 

"What do you want, Miss Swan?" Regina asked scowling as she opened a desk drawer and dropped the mysterious item in before closing it with a slam.

Emma eyed her suspiciously. "I just need the list of spells you were planning on using. You know, for the permission slips."

"I see," Regina said, looking down at the papers on her desk. "It’s in my classroom. Just one minute." She looked reluctantly at the drawer before giving Emma a sharp look. She'd been curious before, but the look Regina shot her made it imperative she know what Regina was hiding. 

As soon as the door closed behind Regina, she rushed over and pulled the drawer open without thought. Later that night as she was pondering her decision, she realized she was lucky she hadn’t lost a hand. Regina could be quite talented with her curses.

A small crudely shaped apple made from some transfigured pieces of metal sat on top of her papers. Emma fell back in shock clutching her mouth. It certainly answered her question about whether Regina thought about their friendship. Emma had made it for her back when she was a lowly second year. She quickly shut the drawer and moved back to the door just in time. 

Regina handed over the list with narrowed eyes searching Emma’s face for any indication that her privacy had been invaded. Emma gave her a simple smile and thanked her before leaving, hoping she had kept her shock at bay enough that Regina didn't suspect anything.  
   
SQSQSQSQSQ  
   
“I’m a shoe-in for the lead,” bragged Jones as he strutted down the hallway. “Swan loves me.”

“What’s not to love?” Milah asked, lazily eyeing the delinquent. 

“A lot,” grumbled the boy nicknamed Rumple. He glared at Jones with distaste and looped his arm around Milah.

“It would serve you well to remember that I am helping with the casting Mr. Jones. This won’t be a game of favorites,” Regina said, interrupting the group of Slytherins. She looked at the smaller boy. “Are you trying out, Mr. Gold?”

“I’m not sure,” he said, looking at Milah. 

“Well, if I remember correctly, you have quite a dramatic flair.” He blushed, recalling a potion gone wrong that caused him to giggle like mad and turned his skin gold and scaly. “If you choose not to take to the stage. Stage crew would certainly appreciate your skills. Professor Lucas says you have quite the talent.”

“I guess,” he replied to her back as she continued down the hall. She heard Jones make a snide comment about her, but she chose to let it go. She could make him suffer for it later. It was a pity he had dropped Potions. 

As she walked down the hall to her rooms, she reached into her pocket and rubbed her thumb over the misshapen apple. If Miss Swan hadn't looked in desk already, she could easily see her breaking into her office later to look. The woman was too curious for her own good. 

After Emma had left the night before, she had pulled out the box she kept her old trinkets in and found the old apple.  She blamed the cider for the nostalgia that drove her to look through the box. She really needed to watch her alcohol intake around Swan. It encouraged thoughts she didn't want to have.

She couldn't say what made her pocket it that morning, but she had and of course Emma had to nearly catch her looking at it. It would go back in the box where it belonged.  
   
SQSQSQSQSQ  
   
A gleeful Hagrid had dragged a small raised platform to the front of the Great Hall for the auditions before he had taken a few seats toward the back to watch. Charms were cast lighting the stage. Emma thought they were a bit too bright, but Regina argued the students needed to be able to handle a few bright lights if they wanted to be actors.

Emma gripped the list of potentials tightly as she looked around nervously. Well over the amount participating filled the hall and at least half of the faculty had shown up. It looked like Regina had been right to want to keep the auditions private. It was way too late to change it now.

“Alright everyone, we are about to start!” Emma shouted over the din.  The noise didn’t decrease even the slightest. Regina smirked to herself until she spotted McGonagall watching from the back in disapproval. Emma appeared to notice as well and became a little more frantic.

Regina rose from her seat behind Emma and gave the crowd a stern glare. The room immediately began to quiet and Emma smiled in relief until she noticed Regina in her peripheral. 

Regina leaned in. "You might want to try the Sonorus Charm." Emma shot her a glare, but tapped her throat anyway. She could respect a good idea. 

“Will everyone please take a seat and when your name is called take your place on the stage.” Students boisterously pushed each other as they took their seats, chattering excitedly. 

“Quietly,” Regina said sharply and the room quieted again. She took her seat smugly as Emma aimed another glare at her. The woman simply smirked and looked at her notes. Emma called the first student and settled next to Regina. She was whispering something to Kathryn and Emmas's scowl deepened. This was their project. Was it too much to expect Regina to pay attention?

Ruby nudged her and gave her a look. She pursed her lips and refocused on the fifth year in front of her. 

With the warning from Professor Mills, the audience kept relatively quiet, but she still found it hard to concentrate.  Rupert Gold surprised her with an impassioned performance and Regina seemed just as pleased with the seventh year. 

Killian Jones strutted onto the stage soon after. She caught Regina rolling her eyes before leaning in and whispering to Kathryn. The Head of Slytherin let out a loud laugh before covering her mouth when Regina hit her arm. Jones didn’t seem to notice his Head of House laughing at him as he began his long monologue. Regina scowled deeply into her notes.

“You are starring at her just as much as you are the students,” Ruby whispered in her ear.

“Am not,” Emma hissed.

“Jealousy isn’t attractive, Emma,” Ruby said.

She spent the rest of the auditions fighting her inclination to see what the other woman was doing. Ruby was right though. She'd been watching Regina’s reactions more intently than she'd been watching the students. The woman was her partner. It was natural to be curious.

She was still pissed that Regina seemed more interested in Midas’ opinion than her own and found herself wishing she didn't have to spy to get a read on the woman. She fidgeted in her seat and stared forward. 

She didn’t really know what she had expected from Regina. They weren’t suddenly friends just because they had shared some small talk during their meetings or because she had caught the woman looking at a reminder of their old friendship. If Kathryn Midas were in attendance, Regina would always value her opinion over Emma’s. Old blood and money were Regina’s favorite things. It seemed foolish in hindsight to have believed that Regina would care about her opinion. 

Her belief that Regina was just a stuck up snob had been taking a beating the more time they spent together and her change in opinion was coloring her expectations of the woman. She should have known better than to get her hopes up. The problem was that she hadn't even realized she had. 

Just because Regina wasn't as awful as she thought didn't mean Regina thought well of her. They were getting along now, but Regina didn't owe her anything. They were still enemies as far as she knew. 

One of her favorite students, Mary Margaret Blanchard climbed onto the stage. She couldn’t stop the quick glance at Regina. The Professor’s lips were pressed into a thin line and her eyes were narrowed in hatred. Mary Margaret clearly noticed and gulped dramatically. The audience snickered unkindly. 

Emma had had to convince the poor girl to audition. She had been sure the brooding professor would do anything in her power to destroy her happiness. Mills’ hatred of the girl was legendary and the girl’s resemblance to Snow White was a contributing factor into the longevity of the Evil Queen nickname. Emma gave the girl the thumbs up. Despite the nerves Regina’s death glare was clearly giving her she gave her all. She didn't see much Regina could say negative about the performance. 

Henry Mills was their surprise star. He was charming and delightful as he pranced about their faux stage. Regina beamed at him like he was her pride and joy. It was an attractive look on her. Kathryn spotted her looking and she blushed, but the woman simply gave Emma a small smile and an upturned eyebrow before returning her attention to the stage.  
   
SQSQSQSQSQ  
   
After the auditions were over, excited students immediately surrounded her. She spotted Regina talking to Kathryn over their heads and excused herself after assuring the students the results would be posted in due time. She had a lot to think about and she planned to avoid all of it with the bottle of firewhiskey that had been rolling around under her bed. 

Emma had just made it out of the Hall when she heard Regina try to stop her. She hurried hoping to avoid the woman until she got herself under control. Unfortunately for her, Regina wasn’t to be dissuaded. She caught up and grabbed her arm. 

“What is your problem, Swan?”

“Nothing,” Emma snapped, pulling her arm free. 

“I was calling your name,” Regina said in disbelief, rubbing her temples. “Whatever. We need to discuss our choices.”

“Can we do it another time? I’m tired and my bottle of firewhiskey is calling my name louder than you.”

“I’d rather do it while our impressions are fresh. It would only take a few minutes.”

“You didn’t seem to care about my opinion ten minutes ago.” Regina’s brows furrowed. “Just Kathryn Midas’.”

“What does Kathyrn have to do with this? She is my friend. I wanted her opinion before I discussed what I thought with you. This is our project. Is it not?”

“It is.”

“Then shall we act like reasonable adults and get on with this?”

Emma sighed. “I imagine that is why McGonagall wanted you around.”

“I assume so. Your rooms then? You can partake of your fire whiskey unimpeded.”

“Uh, I guess.” Emma ran her hands through her hair trying to remember if she had left a mess. There wasn’t enough in the rooms to really make much of one. The decorations fell desperately short in comparison to Regina’s finely decorated rooms. She wondered what the older woman would make of them. Guess she’d find out. Regina wasn’t one to keep her mouth shut about her opinions. 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“Do you want to talk about what happened back there?” Regina asked as she took in Emma’s sparse rooms. 

"I'd rather not," Emma said collecting some homework assignments from her sofa and stacking them on her shabby coffee table. "You can sit here. Would you like a drink?"

"I guess I'll try some of that fire whiskey you mentioned," Regina said as she brushed off her pants and settled onto the couch with her notes on her lap. 

"Sure," Emma said clapping her hands together in front of her and left for the bedroom. It gave her a much needed moment to collect herself. Her anger had melted away after talking to Regina. Now she just felt like a child. She sat on her bed for a minute and placed her head in her hands. With a swallow, she pushed off the bed and dropped to the floor to fish the bottle out. It was a decent enough brand. 

She squared her shoulders and marched back out to the queen.

 

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“I’m sure you are going to say I’m biased, but I thought Mr. Mills’ performance was exceptional.”

Emma just smiled. “No, I agree. It’s a shame the kid is such a little guy.” Regina raised her eyebrows over her glass. Emma rolled her eyes. “I just mean he’s a first year. I’m sure he would look adorable in a little suit of armor, but I don’t know how believable it would be for him to win the heart of our Amata, especially if we end up choosing Milah.” 

“That is true,” Regina said, tracing the rim of her glass with her fingertip.

Emma leaned forward in the seat. “What about narrator?”

Regina smiled. “That’s actually a wonderful idea.”

“So surprised.”

“I’m partial toward Gold for Sir Luckless.”

“He does seem to fit the role. Killian was my first choice, but I think he would try and make him more gallivanting. Humble isn’t really his thing.”

“Indeed. I’m not sure it’s even in his vocabulary. I think Mr. Jones would do a fine job as our worm.”

Emma snorted. “Why am I not surprised?” Regina shrugged and sipped her whiskey more elegantly than she should have been able. They were both onto their third glasses. 

“Do you really think Jones will go along with being the worm? I mean, seriously?”

Regina pursed her lips. “If he won’t, one of the others will do just fine. Mr. Scarlet would probably love doing it. We don't need Jones."

“With the amount of girls in this school Killian’s made cry, the Worm is pretty fitting."

“With the way he’s been talking, I doubt he’ll settle for a supporting role.”

“You can assure him a supporting role is a test. If he impresses us, he’ll be in line for a bigger role next time. He’s a sixth year. He has time.”

“Why do I have to do it?” Emma grumbled.

“You’re his favorite,” Regina sing-songed. Emma groaned and leaned back in her seat, content and soft in her slight intoxication. They lapsed into a comfortable silence. Regina found herself wondering how they managed to avoid fighting yet again. She felt warm and safe. 

Regina had been sure they wouldn’t last a week after that first disastrous discussion, but they had. Fighting now, near the end of preparations would have made sense. really alarm her. She was starting to miss their old safer routine of hostility. It was easier than facing the casual reminders of an Emma Swan that made her feel warm and comfortable.

Emma’s snickering drew her out of her daydreams. “What?”

“Do you remember a few years ago? Jones was trying to get people to call him Hook? During his pirate obsession?”

“I vaguely remember the pirate thing. That’s when the guyliner started, right?”

Emma laughed. “Yeah. Well, he tried to get everyone to call him Hook. Teachers included. I think he thought it would make his scrawny ass seem dangerous.”

“Your point?”

“This time it might stick.” Regina raised her eyebrows in confusion. “If he’s the worm,” Emma said leading Regina.

“Oh god,” Regina said with a laugh and a shake of her head. “Well, he has my support now.”


	6. Chapter 6

The following morning, Regina woke with a raging headache and a new determination to avoid drinking with Emma Swan. Once rehearsals started, their little meetings wouldn’t be necessary and hopefully her new habit of drinking nearly every night could end. She’d also get some much-needed space from the other woman. 

She rolled out of bed and set to making her best hangover cure when someone knocked on her door. She yelled for the visitor to wait as she hastily made herself presentable in case it was a student. She couldn’t think of a student foolish enough to knock on her door this early on a Sunday, but you never knew. Then again there was a Henry now, she thought as she pulled on a casual robe over a pair slacks and a blouse.

Her headache had settled behind her right eye and she was sure the vein in her forehead was bulging slightly as she opened the door. Professor Lucas casually leaned against the door frame with a smile that faltered slightly at her appearance.

"What happened to you?" Ruby asked.

"Lovely to see you as well, Professor Lucas. You look splendid as usual." Regina glared, but moved out of the way to let a sheepish Ruby in.

"Sorry, your Majesty. You just look a little rough," Ruby said as she made her way in.

"You caught me before I could finish my Veisalgia potion."

"You make it sound so fancy. Most people just call it what it is. Hangover tea."

Regina rolled her eyes. "Do you want something to drink?" Ruby shook her head and flopped onto the sofa as Regina finished making her brew.

"Have to drink away the memory of little Barty Connelly serenading that portrait of Ginny Potter?"

Regina snorted. "The poor dear was singing to an empty picture frame most of the song."

"Kids these days," Ruby said grinning.

"I don't remember it being so different back when we were kids," Regina said settling across from her with a ridiculously fancy steaming goblet. "Did you come to get the scoop on my casting choices or did you have a reason for this visit?" Regina took a sip and let out a little sigh as her headache eased.

"Oh, I was just checking to make sure you hadn't forgotten me in the midst of all this play stuff. The full moon's in a couple days."

"I wouldn't forget you, dear," she said as Ruby smiled fondly at her. "Think of all of the damage you could do to the school if I forgot," she continued smirking over her goblet as Ruby pouted.

"Please. You love me. I am curious though. Are you picking Rumple for Sir Luckless?"

"Professor Swan and I have made some decisions, but you'll have to wait like everyone else."

"Boo! But I'm your friend!"

"Try Swan. She might be more forthcoming."

"She'll probably be as tight lipped as you are. Emma the reason for the headache? She driving you crazy yet?"

"Her fire whiskey is the cause." Regina said rubbing her temple. "She's been surprisingly tolerable."

"I'm pleasantly surprised," Ruby said smiling carefully. "She seemed a bit miffed when you weren't paying her any attention yesterday. You two work through your differences over some liquor?"

"She's an overgrown child and didn't want to talk about it."

"I think she was jealous."

"Not you, too Ruby."

Ruby leaned forward. "Midas in on this, too? Awesome."

"In on what exactly?"

"Nothing."

"I hate you all."

 

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They posted the cast list a few days later. Without the fog of liquor coloring her decisions, she had tried to convince Regina to change her mind about Jones and cast him as one of witches past loves, but Regina wouldn't have it. She stuck firmly by her choice and wouldn't budge. Emma couldn't help but think it was paybacks of a sort against the cocky Mr. Jones.

Emma eventually got her to agree to let him be the understudy and they settled on the list enough to post it.

Most of the students that didn't make the cut signed on to the crew hoping to participate any way. Emma took it as a good sign.

 

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For their first meeting, they decided to gather the whole cast and crew as one. Their goal was to review responsibilities and make sure everyone was committed. Emma had suggested commitment forms, which surprised Regina. It was tough to admit, but Emma had feasible plans and had caught a few things in Zelena’s books that she had missed.

Emma also wanted to read the story out loud to the students, which surprised Regina. With all of the library’s copies of Beedle the Bard checked out, it was actually a reasonable idea that ensured all the students working on the play knew the story.

Regina handed out the forms, schedules and scripts to the students as they arrived, checking their names off her list. When everyone was there, she briefly discussed the schedule and instructed the students with conflicts to see her afterward to work something out. She handed the reins over to Emma who pulled out a battered copy of the Beedle tales. Regina had snuck her own copy to Henry after she had heard him mention that he hadn’t been able to get a copy.

The students made themselves comfortable on cushions on the floor that she had arranged with Emma. Henry sat alone in a corner reading her copy and she went over and nudged him with her foot. He smiled up at her and she nodded her head toward Emma. He sighed, but shut the book and focused on Emma as she began to read the old story.

The story was a familiar one for the magical students, but they all listened quietly as Emma spun the tale of the three witches and the woe-begotten knight they accidentally dragged with them over the magical wall. They all sought to change their fortune by visiting the Fountain of Fair Fortune and though four of them made it over the wall, only one of them would be allowed to bathe. With a combined effort, the travelers made it through three difficult obstacles. The first was a worm that demanded proof of their pain. The second obstacle they faced was a steep slope that required the fruit of their labors and the final one was a stream that asked them to pay it a treasure of their past.

In the story once they get passed the stream, Asha, the witch who sought to cure her incurable disease, collapses. Another of the witches, Altheda quickly gathers herbs and concocts a potion using the rare plants she finds. The potion actually works and cures the ill witch.

In curing Asha, Altheda finds purpose. She had been robbed of her wand and earthly goods and wanted the Fountain to save her from poverty. The last witch, Amata had been heartbroken and sought to free herself of the pain of her lover’s betrayal. She had paid the stream with her memories of the person she had loved and by doing so it allowed her to see the true nature of their relationship, freeing her.

Since the witches no longer needed the Fountain, Amata urges the knight, Sir Luckless to use it as a reward for his bravery. Amazed at his luck, the knight climbs in, rusted armor and all. He emerges with faith in his bravery and himself. He turns to Amata, the first to have faith in him and begs for her hand and heart. She realizes she had finally found a man worthy of her and the four walk off arm-in-arm to live their lives happily ever after, never realizing the Fountain’s waters carried no enchantment at all.

Emma’s voice carried nicely across the room and she found herself listening with appreciation. She kept a watchful eye on the students, but felt her eyes drawn back to the other teacher. She wore jeans and a loose sweater and no robe. It was an attractive look on her even as it made her look less professional. Professional wasn’t exactly necessary right at the moment, but she did need the students to take her seriously.

Henry listened with rapt attention, leaning forward anxiously. Regina wondered if any of his foster parents had ever bothered to read to him. When Emma finished the story, revealing the Fountain had never been magic at all, Henry let out a small sigh of contentment that tore at her heart. He deserved so much more that what life had given him. I could give him better, she thought. Maybe.

Emma coughed and she looked up from Henry to find the woman watching her curiously. She moved back up beside the blonde shaking off her thoughts of motherhood.

“I want general stage crew and costuming with me for the rest of the afternoon.” Henry frowned realizing he wasn't included in either group. “Cast is welcome to assist us when they aren’t required by Professor Swan. "We will need all the hands we can get once we get started,” she said looking over at the boy as he grinned up at her.

“As cast, however, first priority is me,” Emma said eying Henry. “That being said if you are in the crowd scene and wish to be a part of the crew feel free to join Professor Mills. We will discuss what I expect from you later.”

The group split and Regina led her students to the other side of the room. Henry waved sadly. Such a sweet boy.

 

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Regina made the students introduce themselves giving their name, house, and area of specialty (magical or not). They had to tell a hobby they enjoyed as well. As much as she hated icebreakers, they served a purpose. Her students would be working closely for the next couple of months and she wanted them to be comfortable with each other. She took notes on their magical areas and artistic ones in order to make a comprehensive task list. She also passed around a list of spells she wanted to use and had them sign off on the ones they knew. There were a few on the list that no one knew.

The Ravenclaws and a few of the others grew excited, but she could see some of the more artistic in the group getting nervous. She smiled at them, but that only served to make them even more anxious. She sat down on a large cushion in front of them. She always found it helpful to be on the same level as her students when she wanted them to be more comfortable.

“I want stage crew to be a learning experience for anyone who wants it to be, but if you came here just to paint that is fine as well. I’ve acquired a large quantity of magical paints and assortment of creative spells that I’m sure you will enjoy.”

“You have all been students of mine in the past. You know I have high standards for order and discipline in the classroom.” She saw a couple students gulp dramatically. “This, however, is not the classroom,” she said with a smile. “There will be danger to be sure and I will require seriousness when dealing with things that could put your classmates in danger. But this will be more… fun. You will be given more freedom than I allow during our Potions classes. Do not take advantage.”

“We’d be too terrified to,” a sixth year said quietly earning a laugh. Regina smiled as well.

“I know I have a reputation as the Evil Queen, but I don’t think it’s a bad one to have if it keeps my students safe."

She opened the group up to discussion and the students were drawn in, fascinated to this new side of their frightening professor. She seemed more human than ever as she asked the students how they would enchant a staircase to move and explained as simply as she could the mechanics of the moving staircases throughout the castle.

Later when talking about it with their classmates, the crew told the others that they were sure they had never seen her smile genuinely before that day. They certainly never thought she would actually like having a nickname that implied she was evil. It was like watching an iceberg rapidly defrost and they were all spellbound.

By the end of the afternoon, her timid crew seemed energized and excited. As they left, Regina reminded them with an evil look that a lackadaisical attitude in her classroom would be firmly punished. The sixth year from earlier shivered. “Never! As the Evil Queen, you obviously know how to make a wicked sleeping potion.”

She chuckled at the nerve. “I hope you keep that in mind the next time you think about sneaking extra glow worms into Mr. Tumb’s potions,” Regina said as the unfortunate Mr. Tumb came up behind the girl.

“Hey!”

“I would never!” the girl said clutching her chest dramatically.

“So, that’s how you knew how to fix my potion!” the boy exclaimed. “But why would you mess up my potion only to help me fix it?” he asked as they left. Regina smiled to herself and went to gather her things. She noticed Emma hovering in the doorway. The other professor gave her a small nod before following the students out.

 

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Emma’s meeting didn’t go quite as well as Regina’s. Her group numbered around fourteen with the understudies. Most of the time the understudies would be free to join the crew when they weren’t working on their scenes so her group would often be in flux.

She made them introduce themselves just like Regina did even though they mostly knew each other already. Gold, Jones and Milah Stiltz found it to be especially trying and she began wondering if they had made a mistake casting the trio. They had already separated themselves from the others and she kept catching them whispering to each other.

She ended her meeting well before Regina did, but she hung around anyway to watch the stage crew interact. She had never seen Regina teach before. The woman seemed much more comfortable around the students than she had pictured.

She highly doubted it was this relaxed during Regina's actual classes or half of the student body would have been in the infirmary wing on a daily basis. She shuddered remembering a nasty explosion during one of her Potions classes. Nasty burns and boils had covered the class for a few days. They had been lucky.

As Regina finished up and their eyes met, she gave her a little nod and left. As she walked back to her rooms, she realized that under the excitement at having finally gotten started, she felt a bit sad about the whole thing.

She had gotten used to her nightly meetings with Regina and while she was looking forward to having more time for grading, she knew she was going to miss her drinking sessions with the snarky woman. Perhaps she could convince the Potions Master they needed to have progress meetings throughout the week. She could see Regina going for that idea.

She wanted to be someone that Regina wanted to be around. She wasn't sure when that had happened, but she didn't feel like questioning it. Regina may have broken her heart all of those years ago, but maybe she deserved a second chance.


	7. Chapter 7

In an effort to continue building camaraderie between the members of her crew, Regina decided that the wall should be a communal effort, including even the costume designers, Jefferson and Ashley. The rest of the set would be divvied out once she better ascertained their competencies.

Hagrid had provided them with a large supply of lumber and had it cut it to her precise measurements. She instructed her group to wear old clothes they wouldn’t mind ruining and to be prepared to get their hands dirty. 

They arrived in a riot of colors, Muggle clothes and wizarding robes alike. She had to send one student to change after he arrived in lacy formal robes. Just because he wouldn’t mind ruining them didn’t mean his mother would approve. 

In their personal clothes, it was harder to separate into House lines and that was the way she preferred. House prejudices were less rampant than years ago, but it was easy to surround yourself with people who thought like you when you were literally sorted together. When she assigned pair work in her class, she made sure to force the students to work with students from outside their House. There was nothing quite like a Hufflepuff/Slytherin friendship.

Their faces were priceless when they realized she wasn't wearing her usual professional attire, but instead a simple vest over a t-shirt and some casual slacks. She was reveling in the shock when she caught sight of Swan’s slack-jawed stare from across the room. She flipped her hair out of her face more flirtatiously than she intended and turned back to her students with a slight blush on her cheeks. They had definitely been spending too much time together. Acting like a schoolgirl with a crush was below her. It wasn’t like Emma was the charming Quidditch Captain anymore. She needed to stop.

The students were still stiff with each other at first and overly reserved with her. Even dressed down as she was, she was still the Evil Queen and they couldn’t be sure she hadn’t reverted back to her evil ways in the time since they last met. 

As they began painting, the mood slowly shifted and they began to relax. That is until an overly enthusiastic first year managed to splatter paint all over Regina’s slacks. Time seemed to freeze and all the students waited for her reaction with bated breath. She took in their horror with amusement and was momentarily tempted to scare the boy. He already looked ready to release his bowels so instead she just shook her head and laughed. Their eyes bugged out of their heads.

“It’s just paint, dear,” she said, patting the terrified Hufflepuff’s shoulder. “It’s not nearly as corrosive as say Basilisk venom. Take care not to be so careless in my classroom. You’ll find me to be a lot less tolerant there.”

A collective breath was released until finally someone started laughing and they all joined in. Regina just shook her head again as a burly fifth year slung his arm around the first year and congratulated him for surviving his brush with death.

 

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On the other side of the room, the cast looked on in amazement. Emma noticed Henry was the only one unfazed by the thawing of Regina Mills. She couldn’t help but wonder if his arrival had something to do with it. The uptight woman’s posture still held her characteristic steel, but there was a new ease to it and her face seemed softer and more authentic. Maybe she just enjoyed interacting with the students without the dangers of exploding potions. 

“Um, Professor Swan?” Henry said, breaking into her thoughts.

“Hm?”

“Are we going to continue?” he asked.

“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry,” she said with one more look at the stage crew. She was running a read-through of the script with the cast and had them seated in a tight circle on the ground. Milah was leaning on Rumple, but her eyes were on Jones. Jones’ eyes unfortunately were on her; more specifically, her chest. He had insisted on staying even though he only had one line. Emma finally agreed to it if he promised to stop trying to convince her to make him a dragon instead of a worm. 

Mary Margaret had taken Henry under her wing and as they began again, Emma noticed how often the pair’s eyes drifted over to Regina. MM always avoided discussing what had happened between her and the brunette teacher. Emma hadn’t been a teacher yet and never had the nerve to ask the other teachers. All she knew was that it involved Mary Margaret’s father.

She focused back on the script reading and gave them some pointers. Mary Margaret was their Asha and she had given an impassioned treaty on her character’s illness and motivation before they began. Emma had nodded along, catching Gold, Milah and Killian rolling their eyes and mocking her out of the corner of her eye. She couldn’t understand Regina’s interest in Gold and her hatred of Jones. Gold could be just as mean-spirited. He was smart. She’d give him that. He already had all his lines memorized.

A commotion from the crew distracted her group again. They couldn’t see past the students excitedly surrounding their project. Jones stood and craned his neck, but shook his head eventually. Emma spotted Regina standing to the side with some of the older students, looking oddly vulnerable. 

Henry seemed to notice as well, but before he could move, a girl she didn’t recognize shouted, “Three cheers for the Evil Queen!” Emma’s jaw dropped and Henry froze. The rest of the group cheered and Regina looked touched as she shook her head fondly. 

After the students left for the night Emma went to get a glimpse of what had moved the heart of the Evil Queen. The wood already looked like it was made of solid stone. The magic in the paint was settling nicely. A graffiti style apple had been painted over what must have been a small spill. “All Hail the Evil Queen” was scrawled hastily above it.

 

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The stage crew grew into a tightly knit group. They even took up the name Evil Regals in support of their professor turned leader. After the success of the apple, Regina allowed them to add more graffiti to the wall. It gave them the chance to personalize the stage and they covered it with drawings and phrases. 

Henry was the one that painted ‘Evil Regals For Life'. Emma caught the longing look on Regina’s face before she hid it behind a small smile and Emma wondered. 

Emma wasn't as fortunate with her students. She tried to get them to bond like the crew, but with the understudies running back and forth and the Slytherin trio darkening the mood it was nearly impossible.

Her core cast became increasingly jealous of the crew even though she was trying her best to make their rehearsals fun. She overheard her Altheda, Belle French, complaining to another Ravenclaw about all the cool spells Regina was teaching her students. It felt like she couldn't even compete and every time she tried she failed. 

One day, just as she started a fun drama game she had gotten from one of Zelena's books, a group of House Elves appeared with platters of treats for Regina's students. Her students were lost immediately.

“It’s just snacks,” Emma grumbled. 

“How come they get sweets?”

“Do we get snacks?”

Emma sighed in defeat. “Go see if they’ll share.”

Jones tried to defect, but was immediately shunned. He returned with his tail between his legs. Apparently all of his bragging at the beginning had involved a lot of bad mouthing the stage crew and Professor Mills. He looked like he was going to cry when he saw Regina showing a pair of students how to manipulate the water in their river and he was stuck writhing on the floor pretending to be a worm. 

Of the core cast, Henry was the only one given free reign between both groups. He ran between them with the boundless energy of a first year. The older kids favored him and treated him like a younger sibling and in some cases better than their own siblings. Regina doted on him, carefully explaining some of the charms he was years from learning. It was adorable.

When the time came for Regina to create the fountain, she made the cast watch as the Professor cast the complicated transfiguration. Regina took the advanced students aside and taught them the mechanics of the spell and even Gold wanted to join in the discussion. If the school grounds had a few more fountains that week, Emma wasn’t ratting them out even if they did regard just as wearily as the cast.

Watching them work with Regina made her join her cast in jealousy. It felt like Regina had dropped a brick wall between them as soon as the production got under way. She went out of her way to never be alone with her keeping a student between them at all times. After everything she couldn’t help but be disappointed. She had thought they were getting to a better place.

It reminded her of the aftermath of her disastrous confession and always seeing Regina in passing and being snubbed. She didn’t want to feel that any more, but the memory of it was strong. Every night after getting the cold shoulder she would relive her mistake a million ways as she tried to sleep. She hated it so she kept trying, hoping things would change.

 

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Hogsmeade weekends usually filled the small town with hyper students on sugar-induced rampages, but Kathryn demanded an outing and Regina couldn’t refuse. They’d only seen each at meals over the last few weeks and her friend was rightly annoyed. She, at least, had the decency to get them a private room at the Three Broomsticks.

Members of the crew called for her attention as she bustled through the leaf-covered streets. Her reputation as the Evil Queen had certainly lost its kick. She was so used to being ignored or avoided that the attention was unsettling. She responded to it with awkward nods and fake smiles.

When Kathryn arrived, she found Regina surrounded on the first floor of the tavern by a group of Evil Regals fascinated by a charm she had recently shown them. She took hold of her arm and dragged her away from them with an amused smirk assuring them they’d have their professor all to themselves at their play practice.

“Rehearsal!” they shouted after them to Regina’s amusement. Zelena would be pleased with her little group. She wondered if inviting her sister to meet them would be worth the trouble her sister’s presence would inevitably bring. It was an idea to contemplate later.

A server took them to their room and supplied them with two bottles of wine.

“Seriously, Kathryn?” Regina asked with raised eyebrows as the blonde grabbed one of the uncorked bottles.

“Dead serious,” she said pouring two very full glasses and holding one out to Regina.

“I can see that,” Regina said taking her glass and settling next to her friend.

“You’ve been so busy. This is long overdue,” she said taking a deep sip. “I miss my friend.”

“And that requires large quantities of wine?” Regina asked taking a conservative sip. It tasted expensive, but she didn’t expect anything different from Midas money.

“Yes. You need to loosen you up or you won't spill,” Kathryn said. 

“Spill what exactly?” Regina asked cautiously swirling the wine around in her glass now that it was at a more reasonable level.”

“That’s what I’m here to find out.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say.”

“You seem happier,” Kathryn said. “Softer.”

Regina stared into her glass. “I suppose I am in some ways.” 

“That’s good.” 

Regina sipped her wine pensively. “I suppose. The play is coming together nicely.”

“I'm glad to hear that. The students are really noticing the change in you. It’s good,” Kathryn said.. “And Emma?”

“Professor Swan and I are staying out of each other’s ways.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s what I need.”

“But is it what you want?”

“I think what I need outweighs what I want.” 

“Are you sure it’s really what you need?”

Regina sighed. “I can’t help but feel like the other shoe is about to drop with her. Nothing good lasts Kathryn. I just need to tolerate her and get on with my life.”

“That’s just silly. You need to open your heart and let a little love in.” Regina just groaned and took a deep swallow of her wine.

 

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“You’re still avoiding her. 

“I am.”

“I thought we agreed you were going to try.”

“I’m not ready.”

“And you say Swan is no better than the students. You are acting just like one of them. Ugh, sometimes I think your emotional range is no better than this damn teaspoon,” Kathyrn said tossing her spoon to the side of her tea. “It’s very frustrating.”

“I can imagine.”

Kathryn spotted Emma walking into the Great Hall and decided to ruin Regina’s little plan. “Oh, I just remembered. I must speak with Frederick about something or other. Have a great breakfast, Regina!” she said, standing abruptly. Regina looked up in surprise, noticing Emma’s approach.

“Don’t you dare Kathryn!” she hissed, but the woman had all ready left leaving the seat beside her empty. She looked down at her food and hoped that her demeanor read loud and clear that she did not wish to be disturbed. It was a foolhardy dream because Swan never cared whether she wished to be bothered or not and immediately took the seat beside her.

“Good morning, Regina.”

“Good morning, Professor Swan. Can I help you with something?”

“Just here to enjoy my breakfast.”

Emma filled her plate and dug in. Now that she had Regina to herself, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to say so she shoved food in her mouth and snuck glances at the other woman.

Eventually Regina couldn’t take the silence and snapped out, “How’s Henry doing?” Emma had been focused on her pancakes and nearly choked.

She wiped her mouth off and said, “Oh, he’s doing great. I think he’s almost ready to go off book.”

“That’s good. And the rest of the cast?”

“Gold’s been off book since the beginning. Belle just started. Mary Margaret is well… trying.

“She does that,” Regina sneered.

“The set is looking good. The kids really went to town on that wall.”

“Yes. We’ll have the vines on it soon. Professor Longbottom is almost ready with his hybrid Devil’s Snare.”

“That sounds great.”

“Yes. Well. It’s probably ready for the cast to try some of it. You can see my notes for the rest.”

“Really? That’s awesome,” Emma said with a wide grin. 

The rest of breakfast went smoothly

 

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At the next rehearsal, Regina kept her word and the cast was allowed to use some of the set. Most of the big pieces had been built and Regina carefully explained how each part would work to the cast and to Emma while the crew watched. Mary Margaret’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head when she realized actual Devil’s Snare would be pulling her over the wall. 

The impish wink shot her way by the boy who was charged with releasing them didn’t help matters. Emma made a note to ask Neville to speak with her and maybe ease some of her concerns. She would need to be relaxed or the plant might be more difficult to get off of her.

The crew still had a lot of work to do, but it was shaping up nicely and it fed into the excitement of the cast. Emma hoped it would carry into their rehearsals, but she knew she was being optimistic.

 

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When the students left for the night, Regina stayed behind to remedy a small magical mishap. They had been practicing the charm to enchant the moving staircase and one of the students had added an extra flourish to his spell casting. The stairs were moving rapidly and shaking the whole mountain. 

Emma leaned on the wall watching the woman work. Today had been a good day.

“You don’t have to wait for me,” Regina said without looking up. “I’ll be finished in a moment.”

“And if I want to wait?” Emma asked.

Regina hesitated for a second before continuing to slow the magic stairs. “Then you’d be an idiot wasting your time.” 

Emma shrugged even though the woman couldn’t see her. “I wanted to see if you would have a drink with me.” 

“Why?”

“Talk about the play? Catch up. Do what friends do?”

“You think we’re friends?” Regina asked looking over her shoulder.

“Stupid right?” Regina gave her an unreadable look before turning back to the stairs. With a final wave of her wand, they slowed to a complete stop. “I make a decent friend or so I’m told," Emma continued.

“And is that all you want? A friend?” Regina asked, turning fully toward Emma tucking her wand in her robes. 

Emma raised her eyebrows. “Is that so wrong?” 

Regina shook her head. “I don’t think that is a good idea, Miss Swan.”

Emma pushed off the wall. She was finished playing games with the other woman. “Why? I had fun in our stupid planning meetings. I’m trying to move on from the past and put the fact you are an asshole behind me.”

Regina folded her arms across her abdomen. “It could never work.”

“Why not? It did before.”

“And look at how that turned out.”

“Regina.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention.”

“So what? I’ve seen you look at me the same way.”

“There’s your reason. We could never be just friends, Emma.” 

Regina moved into her space and ghosted her fingers across Emma’s cheek. Emma’s eyes fluttered closed and she let out a shaky breath. 

Perhaps Kathryn was right. Maybe it was time to open her heart. She could feel it pounding erratically in her chest. She leaned forward before she could stop herself and pressed her lips against Emma’s.

Emma raised her hands and gripped Regina’s robe for a moment before pushing her back. Regina’s eyes flew open in shock and Emma searched them for a long moment.

“No.”

“Emma.”

“You’ve been snubbing me since this all began and you kiss me?” Emma said anger and disbelief coloring her words. “Fuck you. I made the mistake of loving you once. I won’t make it again,” Emma said. “I've been reliving all those months after I kissed you and you know what? You don't deserve to have me like that anymore. You are just a heartless bitch who uses people just like your mother. You're the joke this time, Regina."


	8. Chapter 8

Regina woke the next morning to a loud pounding on her doors. As she pulled on a robe, she vowed murderous revenge on whoever thought it wise to disturb her Sunday morning in bed. She pulled the robe tight around herself and flung the door open not even caring she wasn’t properly dressed. Ruby Lucas stood on the other side looking pissed. She shoved passed Regina without a word and sat with a huff in one of the armchairs.

“As much as I appreciate your company, Ruby, not generally this early. What do you want?” Regina asked, closing the door. She watched the younger woman carefully as she moved into the room.

“What happened?” Ruby demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Regina asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m talking about Emma Swan dragging me to Hogsmeade, getting entirely too drunk, and cursing your name the whole time. What did you do to her?”

Ruby watched as Regina clenched her jaw. “My business with Miss Swan is between the two of us and does not require your interference.”

“Regina, come on. The two of you were getting along. What happened? Why does she hate you again?” Regina sighed and sat down. “Did you reject her?”

Regina laughed before her face twisted into something pained and sad. “She was the one that rejected me.”

“What? But I thought…”

“We have a past, Ruby. It’s not that simple.”

“Well yeah, but…”

“Before all of our little spats, I hurt her. Badly. Her response was… understandable.”

“What happened?”

“Last night or back then?” 

Ruby shrugged. “Both?”

“Perhaps, it would be best if you just asked her,” Regina said.

“I want both sides of the story, Regina. Whatever happened between you… Emma only knows what you did. Not why you did it.”

Regina looked down at her lap and folded her hands. “I think a part of me always hoped she understood why.” Regina sighed before she stood. “Would you like some tea?” Ruby nodded. She collected herself as she made the tea. She had spent the night reliving her mistake and she wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about it. It felt like it was time though.

“I’m sure you remember how Emma always stayed here during the winter holidays,” Regina said placing a cup in front of her.

“Yeah. Granny and I were always trying to get her to stay with us.”

“Yes, well I believe that was my fault. I stayed every year as well.” 

Ruby’s eyes widened. “How romantic!”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. You know how the story ends.”

“Fair enough.”

“We were rather close for friends that only associated with each other a couple weeks a year. She helped me deal with a lot of things. Daniel’s death, my parents.” Ruby nodded. “The year after he died was my last and I wanted it to be special so I dragged her around the castle showing her all of my favorite places. There was a new tension to our friendship that I wasn’t prepared for. She kissed me up in the Astronomy tower.”

“What happened?” Ruby prompted as Regina hesitated. 

“I destroyed her,” Regina said clenching her hands together. “When Daniel died, I promised myself I would never put myself through that again. It hurt so much. I wasn’t ready. I attacked and used her insecurities to crush her. I told her it was all a joke I had been playing on her.”

“Ouch.”

“She didn’t believe me and tried to hunt me down during the school year so I hooked up with Maleficient where I was sure she would find us.”

Ruby grimaced. “That’s harsh, Regina.”

“She wouldn’t let up and I was angry.”

“Angry?”

“She ruined our friendship. She was the only real friend I had back then.”

“Oh,” Ruby said looking thoughtful. “I guess I can understand that. Did you think you were ready now?”

“I don’t know. I think Kathryn got into my head with all her talk of hearts and love and I didn’t think things through.”

“Trying is good.”

“I suppose.”

“You might have wanted to start with being less of an ass to her.”

Regina chuckled. “Probably.”

“You can try now. I don’t know how much good it will do you. She’s in a state about the whole thing.”

“That might be a challenge any way. I’m angry with her again. She brought my mother into it.”

“Ouch. Well, a taste of your own medicine is never pleasant.”

“I know. I was so afraid back then.”

“You think she wasn’t afraid?”

Regina looked away. “Do you not remember how it’s been between us for the last decade?”

“Things change.”

“I just want to be happy.”

“Then stop getting in your own way.”

“Easier said then done.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Regina was angry, but it was a layered anger bred of a lifetime of disappointment. She felt like a stupid teenager all over again. If Emma had been the one reliving the past before it was her turn now and she raged against the other woman for it.

Her little affair with Maleficient had lasted until the end of the year where they parted as friends. Mal knew from the start that Regina was just using her so she used her in turn. Kindred broken souls. It was a welcome distraction since Emma had taken up residence in her favorite spots in retaliation. She never tried the Tower even though she was pretty sure Emma wouldn’t go there.

She had ached for the girl, wanted her so badly. She sought out her presence just to feel the rush seeing her gave her. The pain ate at her so much she let the anger fester instead. It felt healthier than the sadness. She spent too much time feeding the sadness. Anger felt safer.

She knew she was doing it again now. Feeding her anger toward Emma. She knew it was wrong. She did learn from her mistakes after all, but what did she have without her anger? A bruised and battered heart and crushing weakness that could easily swallow her whole.

Ruby’s words floated through her mind. She really didn’t want to be the one standing in the way of her own happiness. She had lived that way long enough. She thought about a small boy with messy hair. He could be worth it all.

Her resolution to put her anger aside lasted right up until breakfast where she was greeted with Emma Swan’s smug face at the teacher’s table. She wanted to punch it right off her stupid face. Ruby spotted the impending explosion and with wolf like reflexives managed to cut her off and drag her away. Kathryn Midas looked between the women in confusion while Emma just looked away.

 

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After all that had happened over the weekend, Emma didn’t feel much up to teaching so she pulled a play from the Muggles and set up a video for her students to watch. She assigned an essay on how Muggles use media to teach and loaded up an episode of Bill Nye the Science Guy for them to watch.

She leaned back in her seat and watched the perplexed faces of her students in amusement. After the night drinking with Ruby bemoaning Regina’s failures, Emma woke feeling guilty for the way she had lashed out. She couldn’t forget the way Regina’s face had looked this morning. Regina hadn’t given a damn about screwing with her feelings so why should she care about hurting her? She hadn’t been able to resist rubbing it in a little.

After the show finished, she allowed the students time to work on their essay and ask a few questions. Her students were filing out of the room discussing the merits of the strange Mr. Nye the Science Guy and she was smiling at her good idea when she noticed her good friend Ruby Lucas hanging out by the door with her arms crossed.

She sighed and kicked her feet up onto her desk. “She got to you, huh?” Emma said.

“She’s my friend, too,” Ruby said pushing into the room. “You seem to forget that a lot.”

“Well, she’s awful and you aren’t the kind of person that usually hangs out with awful people.”

“I don’t. What does that tell you?”

“What do you want me to say Ruby? She deserved it.”

“That’s what she said,” Ruby said, dragging a chair over to the desk.

“Really? She looked pretty mad this morning.”

“Well, that stupid fucking grin on your face was probably the reason for that,” Ruby said glaring. “I don’t think she deserved that.”

“You don’t know what she did to me. 

“She told me.”

“You don’t understand.”

“She told me,” Ruby emphasized. 

“Really?” Emma said in disbelief. “Did she tell you how she called me a joke and laughed in my face when I was a stupid teenager and kissed her?”

“She even told me about Mal,” Ruby said sympathetically.

Emma’s mouth fell open. “What did she say?”

“She said she always hoped you understood why she did it.”

“Well, I don’t and I don’t care because it doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“I didn’t deserve that,” Emma said slamming her hands on the desk in front of her. “I didn’t. Even if she didn’t love me back she didn’t have to go that far. She was supposed to be my friend.”

“Wasn’t she your friend the other night?”

“No. We can’t be friends.” Emma looked at Ruby. “Her words not mine.”

“And she kissed you. What does that tell you?”

“That I’m an idiot for getting involved with her again.”

“Emma.”

“Look, Ruby I get that we are both your friends, but this is none of your business so let it go.”

“I get it, Ems,” Ruby said holding her hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry I pushed. I just want to see you happy.”

“Regina won’t make me happy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well, she’s only brought me misery before.”

“Really? It sounded like you guys had it good for a few years there.”

“Because we only interacted for a couple weeks a year. Look just drop it.”

“Fine. Just try not to be too much of an asshole. It’s been nice having the two of you get along. 

“I promise nothing.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

After an uneventful dinner in her rooms, Regina returned to her classroom to grade assignments. Her seventh years were working on a complicated potion that needed to be checked and assessed. She was just settling in to her work when she heard a timid knock on her door. She made her way over a bit confused. She hadn’t assigned anything particularly difficult for the evening and her Evil Regals rarely bothered her during the week.

She found a nervous Henry on the other side of the door holding a small stack of books and some parchment. He made some weak excuses about the common room being too loud that she didn’t bother contradicting and allowed him to set up shop at his Potions’ desk. She wondered at his behavior and hoped he wasn’t being bullied. It wasn’t her job to pry, but she didn’t tolerate bullies. At least not anymore.

After working steadily for an hour, she realized it was getting late and Henry would miss curfew if he stayed much longer. She knew she could just walk him back to his common room after he finished, but she had already shown him special favor by allowing him to study with her. She had learnt her lesson the hard way about doing that.

He gathered his things carefully and slower than normal and she decided it wouldn’t hurt matters to walk him to the Gryffindor Tower anyway. She snuck glances at him as walked through the now quiet halls in a comfortable silence. 

As they approached the portrait of the fat lady, Henry turned to her. “Thank you. I know you didn’t believe me when I said it was too loud in there. It was just hard listening to everyone talk about presents and their families. I can’t really give anyone anything either. It sucks.”

Regina clasped his arm. “It does. Thank you for telling me the truth.” He smiled up at her and turned to the Fat Lady with the password. As he was climbing in, she called out, “You are always welcome in my classroom, Mr. Mills.”

“Thanks Professor Mills,” he said and disappeared into the rooms. 

The next time Henry showed up, she was prepared with a couple of the presents Emma had given her as examples. He looked over the items with reverence. The small apple Emma had made held his interests the longest. It was crude work and obviously made by some one with his skill level. She could see the wheels turning in his head as he rolled it between his fingers.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Rehearsals became cold after their little entanglement. The students whispered about them and spread all kinds of unfortunate rumors about the rift. They were used to the fire and fight between the two of them. While Regina had been avoiding alone time with Emma she had always been vocal with her during their rehearsals. The sudden distance was shocking. 

Regina’s letter to Zelena avoided most of that. She finished writing about her students and the play and pondered how to answer Zelena’s questions about Emma. Finally she just wrote, “I kissed the idiot and she rejected me. She called me a heartless bitch. I hope you’re happy.” She signed off and sent Rociante out before she could change her mind.

A few hours later as she was finishing her grading, a head popped into her fireplace. Her sister’s hair blended into the flames so much that it looked as if her head was on fire. She still had splotches of green on her face from that evening’s performance.

“Darling, what happened? Kathryn said you two were getting along.”

“Ugh, that little spy,” Regina said, pulling a chair over to the fire.

“She’s just trying to keep your best interests in mind and keeping me well informed is in your best interest.”

Regina groaned. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“Fine then. Dinner in Hogsmeade tomorrow night. You can cry on your gorgeous older sister’s shoulder.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Is that a yes?”

“You’ll be knocking on the castle doors if I say no.”

“Damn right. Meet me at 7 at that pub off High St. I like.”

Regina looked away and mumbled a small thank you.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

“Liar,” Regina said scattering the fire and effectively ending the conversation.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Zelena was already chatting up the bartender when she arrived. She waved her over excitedly ignoring Regina’s dark scowl. She wondered if this would be cathartic at all or just stress inducing. The wide smile on her sister made her lean toward the latter.

“Regina, dear. You look… well rather drab, actually,” Zelena said looking her up and down. 

“Thank you Zelena. You’ve always known how to bolster my ego.”

“As if it needs bolstering. Let’s grab a table.” 

As soon as they placed their orders, Zelena was on her so she reluctantly began. “Do you remember that girl I told you about that I spent my holiday breaks with?”

“Of course. I had to spend the holidays alone in my shitty apartment.”

“That was Emma.”

“Oh.” Zelena’s lips pursed together as she thought back. “Oh. No wonder she hates your guts. Didn’t you go all scorched earth on her?”

“Yes,” Regina said looking down as she played with her napkin.

“So now that she’s all grown up you’re into her and she hates you.”

“Not exactly.” She reached into her jacket and pulled out her favored pocket watch. “She gave this to me.”

Zelena’s brow furrowed. “You… But then… why did you reject her?”

“Daniel,” Regina replied simply. Her sister’s face fell. “I couldn’t go through that again.”

“Did you love her?”

“Does it matter?”

“Do you love her now?”

“Right this minute?” Zelena nodded. Regina looked thoughtful for a second. “Right this minute I wish I could reach into her chest, pull out her heart and crush it in my fist.”

“You already did that, dear.”

“Well, I wish I could do it again.”

“Really, Regina?”

“You should see her smug face. Like she’s won something. It makes me sick.”

“I could set you up with the guy that plays Fiyero. Make her jealous. Show her you’re the only one who should be smug. He could even talk to your students for a bit before he takes you out.” Regina laughed at the idea and Zelena took it as a win.

“That sounds delightful, but I wouldn't want to give some guy the wrong idea.”

“Oh, he’s engaged to the mother of his child,” Zelena said with a laugh. “She’d be all for letting him out for some good ole fashioned revenge.”

“You are wicked.”

“Didn’t you know, dear? Planning revenge is what older sisters do best.”


	9. Chapter 9

Henry was sitting a top the wall kicking his feet when Professor Swan came around the corner looking rather pensive. The early afternoon had been spent listening to some famous actor Professor Mills brought in from London. It had been pretty cool and he managed to snag an autograph.

“Hey Professor Swan!”

Emma flinched and looked up at his grinning face. “Jesus, kid,” she mumbled, clutching her chest. “What are you doing lurking over here?”

“Jefferson said to hang out while he made some adjustments on my costume. So, I’m hanging out,” he said, kicking his feet again.

“Fair enough.”

“What are you up to?”

“Oh, just inspecting dimensions and such,” she said looking at the wall and smiling at the Swan Rules! written on it. The Herbology students had finally gotten at it and strange vines twisted all across its expanse.

“Professor Swan?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“Is it true that you’re an orphan like me?”

Emma blinked rapidly and coughed. “Um, yeah.”

Henry nodded sagely ignoring her reaction. “Were you born in the Muggle world or the magical one?” he asked.

“Muggle.”

“Is that why you are the Muggle Studies teacher?”

“Partially.” Emma gave him a weak smile before climbing up next to him. She bumped his shoulder with hers. “What’s this about?”

“Did you stay here every Christmas break?”

“I did,” she said, studying his features. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just everyone is talking about Christmas and well…” Emma nodded. “I thought you would understand the best.” Emma draped her arm across his shoulders.

She squeezed his shoulder. “Hogwarts gave me some of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. It’s not what everyone would think of as great, but it was better than anything I ever had before.” She smiled fondly. “They decorate the Great Hall with giant trees and lights. There is amazing food and crackers to open. Plenty of other students stay. It's not lonely.”

“Professor Mills stayed every year even though she had family.”

Emma swallowed the lump in her throat. “She did. It's a good time.”

He stared at her carefully for a moment. “You gave her the presents.”

“What?” Emma asked. She could see the wheels turning in his head.

He bit his lip. “Nothing. Never mind.”

"Okay, kid."

“What’s going on with you two lately?” Henry asked. “You have been acting strangely around each other.”

Emma squeezed his shoulder again before releasing him and folding her hands in her lap. “We’re just having some creative differences.”

“You have those all the time. This is different.”

“It’s complicated, Henry. We had a disagreement. It’ll be fine."

“Okay,” he said with a look that said he didn’t really believe her. "Apologies sometimes help."

“When you've done something wrong. Come on, kid. I’m sure Jefferson is done with your costume by now. Let’s go join the others,” Emma said, hopping off the wall. She groaned as her knees took the brunt of it. Henry shook his head and climbed down carefully.

“You need to be more careful, Professor Swan,” Henry said patting her arm.

“So I’ve been told.”

“By Professor Mills?”

“Shut it, kid,” she said lightly shoving him.

“Does she have any kids?” he asked staring off at the other students.

“No. She’d probably be great at though. She’s got the nagging down pat.”

“You’re just jealous because she always remembers snacks.”

“There’s more to being a mom than remembering snacks,” Emma said with a laugh.

“You’d be a good mom, too,” Henry said shyly. “You get what it’s like to not have a mom.”

“That’s why I’d be terrible. I don’t know what a mom is even supposed to do.”

“You’d figure it out,” Henry said with a grin. She ruffled his hair.

“I don't think so, but it's nice of you to say.”

“That Robin guy seemed nice.”

“I guess,” Emma muttered. He had seemed nice up until he had left with Regina.

"Do you think he'll come watch the show? It'd be kinda cool to have a famous actor watch us."

Emma sincerely hoped that the man never set foot in Hogwarts again, but she flashed Henry a smile. "Hoping to get your big break early?"

"Of course, I am," he said as they rejoined the cast and their costume designers. "I won't forget you when I'm super famous. After all you did give my first role."

"How generous of you."

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

As Regina walked away from the castle with Robin at her side, she couldn’t help but feel like Zelena's little date idea was a huge mistake. The look of surprise on Emma’s face when she realized the two were going out together had been perfect, but then she saw the hurt. She hadn’t anticipated the hurt.

Emma had been the one to push away this time. She wasn’t allowed to be hurt. She had been distant, but it’s not like they had been best friends. It wasn’t like she had spit in Emma’s face before taking her space.

She knew she was being unfair, but she was tired of it all. She had just wanted to show her that she was fine with the rejection and could still pull a famous actor if she wanted. She had just wanted to wipe that stupid smile off her face.

It wasn’t like she had made her watch as she made out with the man. This wasn't Mal all over again. It wasn't intended to hurt. Unfortunately, it seemed they were trapped in an endless cycle of hurting each other.

When Emma had graduated, she’d already had a year out in the real world. Granny’s diner had become a home of sorts until she walked in one day and spotted Emma behind the counter. She had spun on her heel and been out the door before Emma could even get a glance. She had contemplated trying to make amends, but could never get herself to go back in. She’d creepily peer in and watch her for a few minutes before moving on.

Eventually Granny sent Ruby out to grab her. Emma had the night off and Granny was sick of her hovering outside and not spending money in her diner. After a quiet lecture from Granny, Ruby poured her a much-needed coffee. Ruby had held up a bottle of whiskey with a knowing look and so a tentative friendship was born. Like Emma, Ruby had run in different circles from her at Hogwarts, but they fell into an easy friendship.

It wasn’t until Ruby invited her out for a night on the town that she finally ran into Emma. She lost any desire to apologize after that disaster and their feud began in earnest.

Robin finally spoke, breaking through and interrupting her thoughts. “So, I thought we could hop the Floo Network down to London and skip out on Hogsmeade.”

“Hogsmeade too quaint for a famous actor such as yourself?” Regina asked, but Robin just laughed good-naturedly.

“I just thought it would be nice to get you away from all of this. Your sister said you don’t get much of a chance to leave during the year.”

“I don’t,” she said, looking out over the lake as the sun reached the edge. “You know you don’t actually have to take me anywhere. This whole thing is rather silly.”

“But what if it gets back to your lady love that I abandoned you? A man of honor keeps his promises.”

“Afraid Zelena will renege on her side of the deal if you back out now?”

He laughed again and shot her another smile. “A famous actor such as myself could get those Quidditch tickets on my own. Come on you look like you could use a good time.”

“I suppose,” she said. “So London?”

“London, it is.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The restaurant Robin picked fit for their not-date date. It lacked the ambience of a true romantic spot and there were a few families at the other tables. They fell into conversation easier than she thought they would. Zelena as a common factor made it easier to connect and she shared stories she was sure her sister would kill her for. He had laughed and contributed his own stories from the play.

She particularly enjoyed the story about the children's tour that came to visit backstage. They were terrified of her. Zelena offered them candy to win them over and one of them started choking. They all started wailing that the wicked witch was trying to murder them.

As the evening wore down, Robin leaned forward and said, “So what’s the deal with you and the blonde?”

Regina sighed. “It’s complicated.” She leaned back in her chair. Zelena had been the only one privy to the details for so long and now she was telling it left and right, reliving one of her worse moments over and over. It was exhausting.

Robin gave her a soft smile. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much. I am a stranger, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone you don't know about things that are bothering you.”

She looked down at her hands. The man was doing her a favor and had been exceedingly kind so she offered, “A long time ago I broke her heart. I thought it was the right thing to do at the time.” He nodded as if he understood. “I was angry at her for a long time. I felt like she forced me into the situation. She was angry because I was cruel.” She sighed again. “Things started to get better between us so I started to push her away. She got tired of it and I kissed her like a fool.”

“You put yourself out there. Nothing wrong with that. I take it she rejected you in turn?”

“Yes and is awfully smug about it.”

“She didn’t look so smug this afternoon.” Regina gave him a faint smile.

“She didn’t, did she?”

He smiled back. “Zelena told you that I have a son, right?”

“Yes.”

“Marian and I were only together a short time before the pregnancy. I like to think I’m an honorable man.”

“So you’ve said,” Regina said.

“Well, even though neither of us were ready I planned this huge public proposal. I got her entire family involved. I knew she wasn’t ready, but I thought marriage was the honorable way. In hindsight it was a horrible thing to do to her. When she rejected me I was blinded by my anger and took it out on her. We still had to see each other for Roland, but we could barely stand each other.”

“You’re engaged to this woman now?”

“I am,” he said with the grin of a man in love. “She proposed this time,” he said with a laugh. Regina smiled. “Roland started in this Quidditch Little League. While we watched the kids chase this beach ball around the field, we realized we didn’t actually hate each other. We had a real honest talk and as much as it hurt, we both needed it. The rest as you can say is history.”

“True love and all of that?”

“I think so.”

“What do I even say?"

“Sometimes it's best to start with an apology. It won’t be easy. Do it when you are ready. It’s not worth it if you aren’t. You’ll just make it worse,” he said obviously recalling such a moment. “You both have to be ready to be honest.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready."

“That’s okay. Swan might not be either if she attacked you when you kissed her instead of trying to talk to you. I was lucky. Marian was ready.”

 

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She sent a thank you off to Zelena the next morning as much as it pained her. She also sent one to Robin including his fiancée in her thanks.

She wondered how much of the man’s story her sister knew. It had helped her to hear it. She wondered if they ever would be ready to forgive each other. Robin had given her some perspective, but she didn’t know what she’d be able to do with it.

She still didn’t think she’d be able to have a real conversation with Emma without it blowing up in their faces.

 

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It was on a night a few days later that Regina lost track of time with Henry. Mary Margaret and David found them working quietly in her classroom during their rounds. David as Gryffindor prefect volunteered to escort him back to the common room leaving the two women alone.

Regina tried to focus back on her work as Mary Margaret wandered the room taking in the brewing potions. Regina knew she could simply order the prefect away, but for some reason she was curious to hear what the girl so clearly wanted to say. She wondered if she had stayed behind to remind her of the dangers of spending time alone with students and felt sick inside. Her first year as a teacher, she had taken the motherless Mary Margaret under her wing, treating her like a little sister. She allowed her too close and accusations had been made.

“My father says that the Calming Draught is dangerous to teach students because they may use it before exams,” Mary Margaret said as she peered into a cauldron.

“Do not speak to me of your father,” Regina demanded coldly looking up at the girl. Leopold Blanchard was a dreadful man. He had led the charge against her.

It all started because young Mary Margaret set up a meeting between the two of them, leading her to believe that the man wished to speak to her about school matters and her progress in Potions. Instead she found herself on a disastrous date that ended with her nearly breaking his wrist. He had responded with, “Is it because you are dyke?”

In her enthusiasm for Regina, Mary Margaret had told him about a conversation they had had about love. She had told the girl that she had been in love with a boy and a girl and that there hadn’t been a difference. Love was love and it was the strongest magic in the world.

In the aftermath, he twisted her pure words into something grotesque and her study group into something perverse. Her conversations with Mary Margaret became something foul. It wasn’t until she shared the memory of the attack with Minerva after a particularly scathing meeting of the Board of Governors that the claims were put to rest. The harm had been done though and the Evil Queen the students knew and feared had been born.

Mary Margaret looked suitably chastised. Her face twisted into a grimace remembering her father’s actions against her teacher. She had only wanted a mother as kind and loving as Professor Mills. It had blinded her.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yes, well I think it’s time you continue your rounds.”

“No. I mean I’m sorry for what happened with my father. I was just a child back then. I didn’t know.”

“You knew enough,” Regina snapped.

“You seem better now,” Snow offered timidly. “I’m glad to see you are moving past all of that. You…”

“What Miss Blanchard? I what?” Regina glared.

“You used to smile like you do around Henry more.”

“I did.”

“I just wanted to say I’m glad and I’m sorry.” Mary Margaret gave her a tight smile and made her way to the exit. “I won’t say anything about Henry.”

As she reached the door, Regina sighed. “It took you long enough.” Mary Margaret stopped and stared. “To apologize. Go. Your Prince Charming is probably back by now and waiting for you outside the door.” The seventh year blushed and Regina knew she had guessed correctly. She watched the girl go. It felt like closure.

Maybe an apology would work with Emma. Maybe they could finally get their own closure.

 

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Emma was nursing her second beer, by the time Neal arrived at the dark tavern. He looked soft and happy and she felt the sting of envy. His wife Tamara had just given birth to their second child a few months ago. She guessed that was his reason for being late.

She gave him a warm hug and he climbed onto the stool beside her. He signaled for a drink.

“So what’s up? Why did you call this meeting of the Lonely Orphan’s Club?” He looked around the dark bar. “Not that I don’t appreciate the opportunity to get out and see you, but this wouldn’t exactly be my choice in venue." The bartender handed him a beer and he took a slug. "Must be pretty bad. Usually during the school year you bother Ruby with all your problems.”

Emma sighed and dropped her head to the bar. “She won't talk to me about it.”

“You managed to piss off Ruby? Damn. What did you do?”

“I didn't piss her off. She's just in the middle. Do you remember Regina Mills?”

“Of course. Head Girl, Ravenclaw, Potions Master, Evil Queen, your mortal enemy. You’ve talked enough about her over the years I don’t see how I could forget.”

Emma pulled a face. “I don’t talk about her that much.”

“Sure Ems,” he said taking a slug of his beer.

“McGonagall forced us to work together on that play I wanted to do.” Neal’s eyes widened. “We were actually getting pretty well at the beginning. I thought maybe we could be friends, but then she started avoiding me. I tried to be the adult and talk to her, but then she kissed me.” Neal’s eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of their skull.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Pushed her away and basically told her to go fuck herself.”

“Oh. Damn.”

“She did it to me.”

“I remember, but revenge doesn’t hurt just the one person, Emma.”

"But it feels so good."

"Doesn't seem like it to me if you're still harping on it," he said raising his eyebrow.

“Well, she’s back to treating me like shit."

"What did you expect? You know better than anyone how it feels to be rejected."

"Yeah well."

"Look, if you were looking for someone to say fuck bitches with, you called the wrong guy. I'm all for forgiveness these days. Life is too short," he said gesturing with his beer. "Have you tried to apologize?”

“Why should I apologize? She never apologized to me. Even when she wanted to cram her tongue down my throat.”

“You are going to have to be the bigger person here, buddy.”

“Fuck that. Why is that my responsibility?"

"If you want things to get better..."

"Some actor guy just came and took her out. She’ll think I was jealous and get all superior.”

“But things could get better after that." He gave her mischievous look she remembered so well. "Were you jealous?"

Emma looked away. "I don’t know. I’m still so angry. She just… She kissed me and it made me so angry. Neal, she destroyed me. ”

“I know."

"I am jealous."

"I think you really need to figure out what you want."

“What if her and this Robin guy… happen while I’m figuring that out?”

“Robin Lockley?” Neal asked curiously. “Wears a lot of scarves?”

“Yeah. So?”

Neal just laughed. “Yeah, he’s happily engaged with a kid. I think you are safe.”

“She did it on purpose! That… conniving asshole. I can't believe her nerve. And you expect me to apologize to her?"

“People deal with rejection different ways.”

“I fucking hate her.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Shut up, Neal."

"I'm just saying."

"And I'm saying you can go to hell."

"I can see why Ruby refuses to talk to you."


	10. Chapter 10

All of Zelena's theatre books warned that there would be no calm before the storm. Utter chaos was their only guarantee and those writers were proving to be entirely too accurate for Emma’s liking. They had bumped rehearsals up to three times a week and the added stress was taking its toll on both of them.

After talking to Neal, her relationship with Regina felt strained in a new way. She no longer received the angry glares, but then again they could barely look at each other at all. She had ceased to gloat, but didn’t know how to proceed. She thought about apologizing, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wanted to fix things, but she had meant what she said to Regina. She wouldn’t be the joke this time. She needed Regina to want to fix things instead of just playing stupid games.

Regina’s stunt with her famous actor friend grated. Emma had been relieved to hear that she wouldn’t have to suffer through watching them together, but it bothered that it had gotten to her at all especially since it had all been a game. 

She didn't know what she wanted. Regina had offered that option for them and she had rejected it out right. Neal had been right. She really needed to figure out what she wanted. She wished Regina could have let them be friends. That had been nice. 

She remembered Regina’s face right before she kissed her. It had been full of reckless daring, like she was challenging herself. Emma touched her own lips with her fingertips and wondered if Regina had been right. If Regina hadn’t rushed into the kiss, it probably would have happened sooner or later. The woman appealed to her in a way she couldn’t explain. It was part of the reason why she had been as antagonistic as possible toward her in the fallout. 

Christmas was coming so fast and they hadn’t even begun to talk about what would come after the holidays. She wanted to continue this experiment. As awkward as it had gotten and however aggravated she got with Gold and the other two, she was enjoying herself. She’d never had the opportunity to interact with the students on such a level and she found she really enjoyed it. She felt like she was making more of a difference on a personal level. She didn’t want to give that up and even it that meant having a real conversation with Regina.

As she stared at the ceiling, she decided to approach her right after the play. They would be riding the high of success and Regina would be in a good mood. A fight right before the performance would be a terrible idea. The final days were stressful enough already and she wasn’t ready just yet to give up the idea of the Drama Club if Regina wanted to quit. 

 

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In another room not far away, Regina also pondered the fate of the “Drama Club” as she got ready for bed. Things had really picked up for the crew and she was constantly soothing the nerves of stressed Evil Regal as they began to panic over their schoolwork and the spells they needed to know. She helped them with their assignments in between set checks and felt constantly in demand. It was exhausting. She wondered if the club (or whatever it was) was sustainable especially with the way her relationship with Emma had progressed. She knew from the beginning that it would be trying to work with her, but she hadn’t anticipated the emotional toll it would take.

Her anger at Emma had faded. She remembered all the hurt she had felt turning Emma away and wondered if Emma was feeling any of that. You often hurt yourself when you hurt others. It was an easy lesson to forget. She was sick of hurting herself and others.

She wished she knew what Emma was thinking. The look on her face over Robin gave Regina hope and hope was the worst thing you could give a person. It was why she was so thorough in her destruction of Emma all those years ago. Hope was a terrible terrible thing and she didn't know what to do with it. 

Their apparent ceasefire wasn’t going to last long with the pressure they were under. It was too tenuous and unstable. She knew it could erupt into war again with the slightest provocation and she felt ill equipped to deal with it. She knew they were overdue for a long honest conversation, but she couldn’t find it in her to have it. She wasn't ready for her hope to die.

She couldn’t even imagine what things would look like between them after she admitted all the ways she had wronged Emma. Would Emma hate her more or would she understand the choice she had made? It felt best to leave it until after they finished the play even with the fine line they were walking. Emma could decide then if she wanted to continue or just go her separate way.

 

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The crew studiously practiced throughout the rehearsal space. The bursts of light and amplified sound made the cast extra jumpy as the worked their way through a read through. Gold’s nerves were shot and he fumbled half of his lines, as Regina looked on unimpressed and with growing agitation. It worked for the hapless Sir Luckless, but it threw everyone else off. They tried to take it in stride, but Mary Margaret kept missing her cues.

After Milah sent Gold a particularly scathing look, Emma called for a break. Milah immediately scoffed and disappeared. Neither Emma nor Regina noticed Hook disappearing after her. 

“Another break?" Regina asked incredulously as she climbed onto the stage. She knew it was a bad idea, but she was exhausted and just wanted to finish. Emma had already given her students numerous breaks and enough was enough. "We don’t have time for this. Every time you take a break you set us back. We need to do a complete run through. Fubbed lines or not.” 

“Come on, Regina. We are working the kids to the bone three times a week and your kids are distracting them. Just go work on something else until we start again,” Emma said.

“I can’t work on anything else until I get the timings down,” Regina snarled.

“Then take a break yourself for all I care,” Emma said waving her hand dismissively before turning back to her students. 

“Of course you don’t care,” Regina said rolling her eyes. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Emma snapped, spinning around and getting right in Regina’s face.

“When have you ever cared about what anyone else needs?” Regina said with narrowed eyes. Emma flushed and clenched her jaw.

“When have you?” Emma demanded as she leaned in. 

“I think Professor Swan was correct. It’s time for a break,” said a distinct voice from the back. Both professors’ heads turned toward it, realizing for the first time how exposed they were. The students were watching with wide eyes.

“Professor Mills, may I speak with you in my office,” the Head of Ravenclaw requested politely.

“Yes, of course, Professor Flitwick,” Regina said, sounding suddenly very much like a student as she followed him out of the room. Emma stood on the stage blinking for a long moment, before she realized her position. Most of the students avoided her eye as she stepped off the stage. She had just made an ass of herself in front of the entire production and one of the most respected wizards in the world. She didn’t envy Regina in the slightest. Flitwick wasn’t even her Head of House and she felt mortified.

She made her way to the exit intent on getting some fresh air and possibly sneaking some liquor to calm her nerves. That could have been worse. She just wished it hadn't happened in front of everyone. At least they were stopped before they said anything really stupid. 

Henry darted in front of her as she reached the door and dragged her into a secluded corner. His little chest rose and fell rapidly and he looked close to a panic attack. She looked down at him in concern.

“Henry. Breathe. What’s wrong?”

He took a deep breath before it all burst out of him in a quick jumble. Emma sadly understood it all. “I thought you were going to hit her.” A fresh wave of guilt washed over her. Henry shouldn’t have had to see that. None of the students should have, but Henry especially.

“Oh, no Henry,” she said softly touching his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

“It just… felt like… you were.” She felt him tremble under her hand.

“I’m sorry, kid.” He flung his arms around her. She stood stiffly in his embrace before awkwardly putting her arms around him. “I wouldn’t do that even if I was angry with her.” Not in front of you at least, she thought, remembering a particularly bad fight they got into a few years out of Hogwarts over some guy named Graham.

“Why do you hate each other so much? I just want you to be friends,” he mumbled.

“I know you do, kid, but it’s not that easy.”

“Promise me you won’t fight like that with her again,” he begged into her robes. She sighed and squeezed him tight.

“I promise.”

 

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Professor Flitwick opened the door to his office and gestured to the seat in front of his desk. She took it wordlessly as he climbed the stairs up to his massive desk. He immediately began digging in his desk so she was left awkwardly twisting her hands in her lap waiting. 

“I came to see how my N.E.W.T. students were doing,” he said casually as he found what he was looking for. His infamous tin was placed firmly on the desk and she gave him a sad smile. “Cupcake?” he asked. She let out a small laugh and shook her head. He smiled at her fondly before setting them off in a lively little jive across his desk.

“I must be in a real state if you think dancing cupcakes are in order,” she said, watching the treats instead of looking at her mentor. 

“Not much you can’t solve with dancing sweets,” he said. “Do you wish to tell me what’s going on between you and Professor Swan?”

“Not particularly,” she said. “It’s a personal matter between the two of us.”

“Perhaps it was when it was behind closed doors. You do understand how inappropriate that was, Regina?”

“I do. It won’t happen again,” she said somberly.

“If I recall correctly, you two used to be quite close.” Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“It’s complicated.”

“Love often is.” Regina’s eyes shot open. He sent her a kind smile and launched a cupcake onto her hand. “Take a cupcake, my dear.”

“I burned that bridge a long time ago.”

“Perhaps it’s time to rebuild it,” he said kindly. “Get back to your students. Let me know when I can stop in and get a preshow.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Call me Filius, dear. You aren’t my student any longer.”

“Doesn’t feel like it right now,” she grumbled. He sent her a cheeky wink.

“Don’t forget your cupcake.”

 

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When Regina returned, she acted like their blowup had never happened and jumped right back into the preparations, completely blowing off Emma’s attempts to get her alone. She wasn't ready for to talk. She needed to calm down first or it would just be a continuation of their previous argument. 

At the end of rehearsals, she attempted to make a hasty retreat, but Emma caught her. “We need to talk, Regina.”

“I’d rather not,” Regina said with a sigh as the students hurried past, leaving them alone. 

“And I thought I was the one with the maturity issues.”

“I’m trying to be civil,” Regina snapped. She really didn't want to do this now, but Emma couldn't stop pushing. “To be honest, I’m really not up to a conversation right now with the woman who embarrassed me in front of my Head of House just because her students were a little tired.” She knew she should be holding back, but Emma was baiting her and she couldn’t help herself. This was how they’d always been, always pushing.

“That’s not fair and you know it,” Emma said rising to the argument. “We can’t work our students like horses. They need breaks.” 

“No, Swan. They need to be prepared. Your students weren’t tired. They were distracted and instead of forcing them to get used to it you gave them allowances that they surely won’t be given when they are in front of the entire student body.”

“Bullshit. They are exhausted. Most of them are seventh years and working their asses off in class then coming here to us and doing even more work.”

“They’ll still be tired when it comes time for the actual performance. Henry’s been able to keep up and he’s even been helping the stage crew.”

“Under half of the pressure! Henry’s a first year. He’s not taking N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year. Of course he can keep up.”

“I was brought on to this project to bring order. My students are under just as much if not more pressure than yours. They are learning complicated spells on top of their N.E.W.T. level coursework, all to make your show a success. Yours are simply reading lines from a script. You are coddling them and not letting them work to their potential.”

“Regina just stop. Do you even hear yourself?" Emma said gesturing with her hand. "Look. I’ll be more selective about breaks if you cool it on the Evil Queen routine for a fucking second.” Regina grit her teeth and Emma realized it was probably not the best idea to remind Regina of that if she had any intention of actually ending the fight. “I’m sorry. That was unnecessary. Can we call a truce and put the stuff between us aside.”

“This has nothing to do with us and everything to do with your haphazard disciplinary skills," Regina said knowing it was only partially true. 

“My disciplinary skills? Your students have been terrorizing mine for weeks. I swear if another apple ends up in Mary Margaret’s path, I’ll…”

“They are props, Miss Swan. They are everywhere.”

“Can you drop the Miss Swan bullshit and show me the respect I deserve. I'm at least a Professor. The same as you.” 

“Respect is earned, Miss Swan,” Regina hissed directly in her face. Emma felt her heavy breath on her face and realized just how close they had gotten in the midst of their argument. 

"You are just angry that I'm finally equal to you." Her eyes darted down to the woman’s lips and she licked her own. Surprise flickered in Regina’s eyes as she noticed and her own eyes flicked down. Things had taken a dangerous turn. Even in the midst of their anger, this lurked so close to the surface. It was mindboggling.

"You just wish that were true," Regina said, eyes still on Emma's lips. 

“You promised!” Their heads snapped to the back in a mirror of their earlier altercation. This time instead of a respected teacher however, they saw the retreating form of Henry slide out the door.

“That needs to stop happening,” Emma said. Regina wasn’t sure if she meant their argument or getting caught.

Regina rounded on her. “What the hell did you promise him?” Emma’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water as Regina watched her.

Emma bowed her head. “That we wouldn’t fight anymore.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Regina asked using her hands to emphasize her disbelief. 

“He was upset. I was trying to diffuse the situation.”

“You should stop making promises you can’t keep.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Emma demanded. Regina looked away. “You know what. I'm done. I’m going to go find Henry and apologize.”

“No. You’ve done enough damage. I’ll talk to him.”

“Fine. Whatever," Emma said shaking her head. "You know he’s not your son, right?” Regina turned back, hand raised as if to slap her before she pulled it back to her side. Emma let out a harsh laugh. “And he thought I’d be the one to hit you.” Regina’s hand clenched into a fist and she spun on her heel, leaving Emma alone and angry.

 

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Regina found Henry huddled in an alcove out in the courtyard. The sun was falling and the cold breeze whipped through her robes. Winter was coming. Henry looked half frozen, but petulant enough to ignore it. She stood in front of him until he shifted to give her room. They sat together in silence watching as students made their way into the castle.

“I’m sorry, Henry,” Regina finally murmured. Henry looked up from picking at a thread on his robe.

“Why are you sorry? Professor Swan was the one who promised.”

“That was a promise she shouldn’t have had to make. I’m sorry because you shouldn’t have had to see that. It was inappropriate. Professor Swan and I are adults and we acted like children. We have a responsibility to be an example to you and we weren’t.”

“Adults are allowed to act like children sometimes, Professor.”

“Not at the expense of the real children, Henry,” Regina said softly. Henry nodded thoughtfully. “My parents fought a lot when I was growing up. I never want you to feel the way I felt during those times.”

“Some of my foster parents fought,” he said after a moment. “I wish you wouldn’t fight at all.”

“I know, Henry,” she said putting her arm around him. He leaned into her and she squeezed him to her. Henry was not her son, but she loved him like he was. “We’ll do better.”

“You were friends before weren’t you? Can’t you be again?”

“I don’t know Henry.”


	11. Chapter 11

In keeping with tradition, they didn’t talk. After speaking with Henry, Regina had a note delivered, accepting the offer of a truce and so their ceasefire gained a name and some stability.

Regina and Emma had one last awkward meeting in Regina’s office to iron out final details. Neither mentioned anything about after the play and it was overly formal and stiff. Both bit their tongues to avoid any further arguments. It was much too late in the game to be fighting.

Professor Flitwick and a few other teachers came for their dress rehearsal and declared it a success. Their approval calmed the nerves of many of the students and eased some of the tension that had built up since their public shaming.

Since it was their first attempt at doing this, their first performance was set to be for the students only. The next day they would have the families of the cast and crew as well as friends of the school. If this was worked, they had planned at the beginning of the year to expand it for the end of the year performances.

 

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The night before the show, they transported the entire set to the Great Hall. It fit perfectly. With Regina’s anal-retentive attention to detail, Emma hadn’t had any doubts it would. It was magnificent.

After everyone left, she stayed behind and took a seat on a table to just look at it all. There was something amazing seeing it all put together in the Great Hall instead of in pieces spread about their rehearsal space. It made it all feel tangible, like she had accomplished something real. 

Rustling behind the wall drew her attention and she immediately stood with her wand drawn. It was only Professor Longbottom and he gave her a wry look as he came around the corner and saw her standing on the table. She blushed as she climbed down. She really hadn’t been in the mood to deal with student vandals.

"On guard duty?" Neville asked.

"Nah, just hanging out," she said as she joined him on the stage. She followed a step behind as he checked the intricate vines. 

“The vines look really healthy," he said as he finished his inspection. He gave her a smile she couldn't help but return. "I’m really proud of you, Emma. It looks like it’s going to be a real success."

“Thanks, Neville. I hope so.” He gestured to the edge of the stage and they sat side by side. He had been around her age when she had been his student and he had always been a role model. His approval meant a lot.

He looked around the Great Hall fondly. "This place is something special, but it's only as good as what people put into it." He smiled over at her. "This is a fine addition."

"I'd like to think so."

"It's nice to see you finally opening up to your students," he said after a few moments. "How is Henry Mills doing?” She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “I just thought he might be special to you. He’s a foster kid, like you.”

“All of my students are special.”

“Fair enough. I didn’t mean to imply all foster children are the same or you should care about them more.” 

"I know, Neville."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “He reminds me of you sometimes.”

"He’s a good kid." She looked around the hall. "Hogwarts is a bit of a safe haven for orphans like us," Emma said with a shrug. “Not all foster families are bad, but you're right. This place is special.” Neville gave her a look. “And the people are as well,” she conceded.

“Indeed," he said with a smile. "I was surprised that Regina had taken a special interest in the boy. She usually keeps her distance from the students.”

“Oh?” Emma said, as if it hadn't noticed. 

“She requested his allowance to take him to Hogsmeade during the break.”

“That’s nice of her,” Emma said, with fake disinterest. She was starting to feel bad about insulting Regina's mothering of Henry. She would have killed for someone to care about her the way Regina cared about Henry and she had tried to make the woman feel bad about it. She just hoped Regina was careful with his emotions. He didn’t deserve to have his hopes raised only to be dashed to pieces when he got a painful reminder that she was just his teacher. He was more of a dreamer than she had been. He was still looking for a family.

“Saves me the trouble of getting a social worker to take him,” he said. Emma furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. He gave her a sad smile. Before she was allowed to go on the trips to Hogsmeade, Neville had taken her down during the winter breaks to pick up little things she may have needed. She knew that some professors made their kids in the system get everything they needed via owls, but Neville never did that. He knew what it felt like to be dismissed and looked over. He always made sure his students never felt that way. It had been nice. “Something came up last minute and I can’t take him.” 

“A social worker. Really, Neville? You could have asked me.”

“I didn’t want to assume. I’ll be sure to keep you in mind next time.” He gave her a cheeky wink.

“Already planning a next time?”

“Perhaps. You'd make a fine Head of House someday. I'd like to see you take on more responsibilities," he said looking around them. "This was a good first step."

"Wow."

"It's just something to think about. I'm still a spry young man, but you never know."

Emma snorted. "Maybe you were young when I was a student." Neville gave her a sad pout and she slung her arm around his shoulder. "You're a good guy, Neville. I have a feeling you are going to be here a long, long time."

 

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The day of the play arrived and things started to go bad almost immediately. David mysteriously ingested some Puking Pastilles that put him in the Infirmary Wing. With him out of the picture they were left with the one and only Killian Jones to fill his shoes. Regina and Emma knew he was responsible for the mysterious accident, but they had no choice.

Their tentative truce held as they rushed around each other checking costumes and making sure everything was in order. It surprised them how in sync they had become without even noticing. They handled the Hook dilemma without missing a beat, helping Ashley and Jefferson fit the costume to his proportions in the midst of the preparations.

They picked spots on opposite sides of the stage to watch. Often shooting each other proud looks across the way as the show went on. Henry did a fabulous job as their narrator and Regina couldn't have been more proud of him.

It seemed to be coming together nicely, until all of a sudden it wasn't. The cast crossed the stream and the plants needed for Belle to cure Mary Margaret were missing. Henry grabbed the first edible prop he could find and rolled it to her. Belle took the unfortunate apple with a shake of her head and presented it to Mary Margaret. The audience burst into laughter at her stricken look. Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, desperately hoping the Evil Regals hadn’t done it on purpose. Emma looked furious on the other side of the stage and Regina just rolled her eyes.

As their Sir Luckless made his way to the Fountain, he stepped on Milah’s dress, tearing it rather dramatically. He, thankfully, left the girl decent and it earned more chuckles, but it was the last straw for the girl. She chased after him and shoved him into the Fountain. He emerged in a rage, wand drawn.

Milah called him a coward and declared her love for Jones for all to hear. Regina moved to intervene, but was shoved aside by an eager Hook. The stupid boy didn’t stand a chance against the most talented Transfiguration student the school had seen since Professor McGonagall. Gold's face twisted and he snarled, "You are nothing, but a worm. With a wave of his wave, Hook legs shrank away and he fell to the ground face-planting as he no longer had arms to catch himself.

By the time, Regina had righted herself and rushed onto the stage, the boy was mostly worm and Milah had pulled her own wand to attack her now ex-boyfriend. She quickly froze the two dueling students as Ruby climbed onto the stage to tend Jones. Ruby sent Gold a furious look. His access to the Restricted Section of the Library was most definitely over.

“What the hell, Regina! I turned my back for one second,” Emma shouted as she rushed onto the stage, Henry close behind her. 

Before she could respond, Professor McGonagall’s voice rang out over the chaos. “Prefects. To the Common Rooms. Now.” The students in the audience were in an uproar, but once they heard Minerva's voice they knew their fun was over.

Kathryn climbed onto the stage and laid a hand on Regina’s shoulder. “I’ll handle these two,” she said gesturing to the frozen students. Regina nodded. As much as Regina wished she could be the one to dole out their punishments, it was their Head of House's responsibility. She caught a disappointed look from Professor Flitwick on his way by with his students and it stung. 

 

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Once Ruby had returned Jones to a less worm-like existence they carted him off to the Infirmary Wing for some draughts. His limps weren’t quite functioning yet and the Evil Regals watched on in horror. Emma hovered over Mary Margaret who seemed to be in shock.

Regina gathered the stage crew and quickly got as much of the story as she could before sending them after their housemates. She stood in front of the stage assessing the damage not even noticing the room emptying out. There was no way they’d be able to put on the show tomorrow even if McGonagall allowed it.

Every thing had turned out just as she predicted. A disaster. She really thought they would pull it off for a moment there, but in the end the combination of her and Emma Swan was just toxic. This was the result. McGonagall should have known better.

She felt oddly resigned to it all and wondered if she was in shock as well. As she stood in front of the wreckage, she had to wonder how much of this mess was her fault and how much was inevitable. If they hadn't been distracted by their own problems would they have spotted the impending doom in time to stop it?

Heavy angry footfalls startled her from her self-reflection. She turned her head slightly, knowing what was coming. “This is all your fault!” Emma shouted at her. “Your little cult planned that apple. They threw the whole thing off. I knew this was going to happen.”

“What did you know exactly, Miss Swan? That your entire cast would self destruct when a simple error was made?” Regina said. She could feel her anger building and she welcomed it.

“I knew you would find some way to sabotage my efforts.”

“Efforts,” Regina scoffed. “You should have seen what was going on. There was no sabotage unless it was from your side. Don’t forget that David’s been in the Infirmary Wing all day. I was informed that Mr. Jones also shoved Claude right before he went out for his scene disrupting all of the backstage preparations.”

“Claude has been needling him for weeks.”

“So you’re advocating violence as the answer now?”

“No, that’s your answer, remember?”

“Professor Mills. Professor Swan. My office now,” McGonagall said, before marching from the room. The two startled women shot each other horrified looks and immediately deflated.

“Looks like we’re in trouble now," Emma said. "Think she’ll take any house points from us?” Regina just shook her head.

 

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They walked to the Headmistress’ office in silence. It felt like the end and it surprised them both that they didn’t want it. They snuck looks at each other feeling like school children as they climbed the stairs past the gargoyle.

Emma hesitated at the door. “Are you ready? I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Let’s just get on with it, Emma.” Emma groaned as Regina pushed the door open.

Minerva McGonagall sat at her desk writing. Regina wondered if they were letters to her students' parents informing them of the disastrous outcome. McGonagall didn’t even bother to look up at their arrival. Regina could feel the disapproving looks sent their way from the portraits of old headmasters. She could hear Headmaster Dippet mumbling about how his ban should never have been lifted. 

After a few torturous moments, Minerva finally steepled her fingers in front of her and looked at them over her glasses. “I feel as though I should have Professors Longbottom and Flitwick here tonight with the way you two have acted.” They hung their heads in shame. “Bickering like children. It's shameful and set a terrible example for your students."

“I thought about canceling this failed experiment entirely, but,” she paused and looked at Regina, “your students made a compelling case in favor of continuing. All have shown a marked improvement in their grades and Mr. Mills made a very concise argument for a first year.”

Regina felt her heart warm at her students’ initiative. Emma still thought they were little shits. McGonagall turned her attention to Emma. “From what I understand you were in charge of the cast, Professor Swan.”

“Yes, Headmistress.”

“You lost control.” Emma attempted to stutter out a response, but McGonagall interrupted her. “I wanted this to be a joint effort between two capable teachers. I wanted you to combine your talents and even each other out. Fill the gaps. Instead you separated and this was your result.”

“I suggested a more collaborative endeavor at the beginning,” Regina defended.

“Oh, please you seized the stage crew as soon as you could,” Emma said, quickly turning on the other woman.

“Enough.” McGonagall barked, stopping Regina short. “Do you even want me to allow you to try again? Or am I wasting my time here?” They shot each other quick looks.

To Regina the answer was clear. The play had been a blessing in its own way. She felt more comfortable with herself and her students than she had in years. It had awoken a part of her heart she wasn’t ready to close off again. Whatever was going on between her and Emma didn’t change that.

“I do. We can do so much better than what happened tonight,” she said. She could feel Emma staring at her, but she stayed focused resolutely on the Headmaster.

Emma nodded to herself. “I agree. Please Minerva.”

“Are you two even capable of putting aside your differences?”

“Our fighting clearly impacted the children. I’m willing to fight my inclinations and resolve anything that comes up civilly," Regina said. 

“We can do it and if we can’t we will leave the room.”

“At the very least, Professor Swan,” McGonagall said with a sigh. She stared them down. “You have one more chance,” she said. “I will require frequent progress reports and I will be checking up on you. Often. You’ve acted like children so I will treat you as such.”

“Understandable.”

“Of course.”

“I expect a true collaboration this time. I will cancel this entirely. Don’t disappoint me.”

“Yes ma’am,” they chorused.

“Now, get out of my sight before I change my mind.”

They nodded and quickly fled. They both let out a sigh of relief as the gargoyle slide back into place behind them.

“What is it about that woman that turns me into a fourteen year old all over again?” Emma asked.

“It probably didn’t hurt that you… we’d been acting like ones.” Emma appreciated the small correction.

"True," Emma said softly. 

"I'll cancel my plans for the holiday so we can plan for our next attempt. You will be here?"

Emma nodded and looked up at Regina. “So another Christmas together?"

“So it seems.” Regina said quietly. “Perhaps it’s time we should talk.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory.

Friendship is a strange thing. You can be thick as thieves one day and then practically strangers the next. Long before being accepted to Hogwarts, Emma Swan had already realized how fleeting people’s interest could be with someone who trouble seemed to follow like sore thumb. She was decidedly against caring. 

When she was seven, she had a foster brother named August. They’d both been through more than enough families to fully trust that the one they were in now was going to last long. They promised they’d stick together through whatever happened, but one day an older gentleman appeared with tears in his eyes and August was whisked away to his dream life. A week later he appeared at school with a new haircut and nicer clothes and Emma didn't exist. His dream life apparently didn't include her and the weird things that happened around her. 

She met a girl named Lily shortly after as she was shop lifting dinner and thought a friend could be better than a brother. They bonded as fellow orphans and ran around town like they owned it. That is until Lily’s father showed up. Emma was the one who turned her back this time. Everyone was a liar and no one really cared.

When her letter came for her, she scoffed at the idea of magic. Emma imagined all it did was make people feel more entitled. At least it explained why things always seemed to happen around her.

Despite her reservations, Hogwarts impressed her. It was a castle after all. Everyone was welcoming and she actually felt comfortable enough to start to think of it as a home. Even Muggle-born and poor, she felt on equal footing with her classmates. They all ate the same food and slept on the same beds and she was no longer seen as troublesome. She even liked her fellow Gryffindors. Walking into the common room for the first time she had felt a weight lift off her shoulders. She wasn’t strange or different. She was a Gryffindor.

Christmas break was her first happy Christmas. It was the first time she met Regina Mills. The prickly Ravenclaw sat at a table at breakfast that first morning with her head in a book about horses. Girls with horse obsessions were okay in Emma’s eyes so she sat beside her. She was wondering if the prissy second year had her own pony when serious brown eyes caught her staring. 

“What are you staring at?” the girl snapped at her. Emma blushed and looked back at her meal mumbling an apology. She couldn’t help but smile a little. She always knew where she stood with people that didn't hold back and she liked that. She proceeded to sit next to the girl every chance she got over the next two weeks. 

By the great feast, she knew that Regina was honest to a fault and a complete asshole, but she smiled when Professor Longbottom made them flower crowns and didn’t laugh too hard when Emma’s cracker blew up in her face at the Christmas feast. She even gave Emma a drawing of a horse as a last minute gift when Emma presented her with the apple tart she had nicked from the kitchens.

Christmas break ended with shy smiles and they went back to their separate lives. In such a large castle in separate houses and years, they rarely even saw each other. Both felt like it had been a small Christmas miracle and with so little special and good in their lives they took it for what it was and cherished it. Emma liked that it was short lived. It didn't give Regina the chance to ruin it. 

Summer came quickly and Emma had to return to the foster system. She was scheduled to stay at a magical group home and didn't imagine it would be much different than any of the other homes she had stayed in. She had decided that magical people were just the same as Muggles even if Professor Longbottom had been exceedingly kind. 

When her social worker arrived at Platform 9 ¾, she discovered another Gryffindor was joining her for the summer. He was a quiet older boy named Neal and together they spent the summer dreaming about their return to Hogwarts. Time passes slow when you have something to look forward to and for the first time ever, Emma did.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

When Christmas break approached again, Neal pulled her aside and told her a friend was having him for the holidays. Emma simply smiled and bid him a happy holiday. It felt nice to have someone concerned for her even if she didn’t trust it completely. She didn’t mention the Ravenclaw she was hoping to see.

Sitting in a prime spot by the fireplaces in the Gryffindor common room, she wondered if she had idealized the whole thing. Regina might not even be at school this year. She felt over prepared with her small gift wrapped under her bed. She hadn’t spoken to the girl at all since last winter and barely ever saw her in passing. She had tried to meet her eye at dinner a few times, but Regina always had her head in a book even while eating. 

All her fears melted away when she came down the next morning and saw the brunette grinning at her from the spot they occupied most of the last break. Regina schooled her face into a less obvious smile as Emma approached, but Emma knew the girl was happy to see her. She was happy, too.

They spent the holiday much as they had the year before, working on schoolwork until Emma grew bored and dragged Regina out into the snow. This year they were prepared with gifts. Regina kept her little apple in her pocket for months and would run her thumb over it whenever she felt anxious. Emma spent the next few weeks cuddling with Quidditch for the Ages and her very own Snitch. 

Emma had never understood the big deal about the Snitch. She could always spot it well ahead of the teams’ Seekers and often argued with her house mates that it should count for less. It was clearly her favorite. 

Her foster family over the summer didn’t have brooms for her or the other kids to use, but some of the neighborhood kids let her borrow theirs just to watch her in action and to use her snitch. It was no surprise that she made Seeker and even with a shoddy school broom managed to bring Gryffindor to victory over both Slytherin and Hufflepuff. Secretly, she kinda thought they should have lost. Their team kinda sucked.

When the holidays came again, a more confident Emma Swan joined Regina at their table. Regina herself felt softer and less antagonistic. Somehow they had both found friends over the last year, but this still felt special to them. Regina gave her a circle necklace. It was simple, but perfect and she put it on immediately.

The following Christmas, Regina was in love. Her face glowed with joy and Emma was so happy for her friend. Daniel rode horses and Emma had seen him around. He was known for being sweet and overly kind. She approved.

Neal had gotten her a little swan charm and she hung it beside Regina’s circle. They talked about love and boys. She wasn't sure about Neal. Both awkwardly confessed to liking girls as well. 

Regina bought her a new fancy broom and Emma called her a traitor to Ravenclaw while Regina just laughed. Emma had saved up and bought Regina a magic pocket watch. It wasn’t fancy, but Regina loved it.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The Christmas of her fifth year, Emma came down from the Gryffindor common room unsure if she would find Regina. Even though her friend Ruby from Quidditch tried again to get her to come stay with her and her Granny, she stayed just in case.

Daniel had not returned to Hogwarts that fall. There had been talk of a horse riding accident. It had broken Emma’s heart. She had often watched them from her broom during Quidditch matches. They would snuggle together and cheer for her. It had felt like seeing True Love and gave her hope of finding it herself one day.

His death felt like another reminder for someone who didn’t need reminding, that life was unfair and cruel.

Regina was there, but not really. She was a shell of her former self and when Emma nearly fell in the frozen lake a few days later, real terror flashed in her eyes as pulled her back. Emma didn’t even fight back when Regina screamed at her. 

It was a somber Christmas. She watched Regina spin the ring Daniel gave her round and round her finger. The night before everyone returned, Regina collapsed in her arms in a dark corridor. Emma stroked her hair as she sobbed and sobbed. There were no gifts that could make it better. Emma just held on as tight as she could.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Their next Christmas was their last. Regina was a seventh year and would no longer be returning to Hogwarts. She had been made Head Girl to Emma’s Quidditch Captain. They were worlds apart. 

Regina had developed a reputation for being cold and intense whereas Emma had blossomed into a protector of the weak and was well liked by all even if she didn’t really understand why.

None of it mattered when Regina looked up from breakfast and smiled at her. Emma flopped into her seat as usual and grinned at the older girl. Regina’s spark was back and Emma couldn’t be happier. 

“Since this is our last Christmas together, I’ve decided to teach you everything I know about this place.”

“You’ve decided, eh? What about our school work?”

“That’s unimportant.”

“Unimportant! Blasphemy! What would the other students think to hear their Head Girl speak in such a way?”

“Shove it, Swan.”

“And what makes you think I don’t know any of these mysterious mysteries?”

“Because you are a dumb jocky Gryffindor with no imagination,” Regina snarked.

“Hey!”

“You want me to show you or not?” Regina asked impatiently.

“Oh hell yeah, HG.”

“HG?”

“Head Girl.”

“Well it’s better than Gina. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell the Gryffindor prefects to call me Regina or Mills. It’s enough to make me want to hex them all.”

“Well, Gryffindors are know for their bravery.”

“And stupidity. Come on I’ve got a lot to show you and not a lot of time,” Regina said taking her hand and pulling her up. Emma feebly protested missing breakfast, but Regina still had a hold of her hand and she found it wholly distracting. They spent the morning in Regina’s haunts and Emma didn't regret putting off her Transfiguration essay one bit. Regina promised to show her more the next day and nodded sagely when Emma joked about bringing a notebook. 

That night in bed she couldn’t forget the way Regina’s hand felt in hers or how her body had felt pressed against her when they had ducked into a closet to hide from Professor McGonagall. They hadn't even needed to hide, but Regina’s eyes had been lit with mischief and Emma had followed along wanting nothing more than to spend eternity running around with the girl. Her heart beat heavy in her chest as she remembered. She loved Regina sure, but this felt like a different kind of love. She stared up at the ceiling hoping it would somehow give her answers.

Regina’s lips held an unexpected attraction over the next few days and Emma wondered what they would feel like pressed against her own. It felt like Regina spent more time touching her than any of the years before. She often kept a firm grip on her hand as she led her about the castle. Her eyes held a softness that made Emma think that maybe Regina was feeling the same things she was.

The hitch in her breath a few days later when Emma tripped while playing in the snow and landed on her suggested she did. So did the way her eyes drifted to Emma’s lips. She felt herself leaning forward as Regina’s hand moved up her back. She licked her lips as she stared into Regina’s eyes. She took a deep breath and had just worked up the courage to close the distance between them when she felt the snow drop down her neck. She fell against her shuddering as Regina laughed.

“Not the hair!” Regina shouted as Emma retaliated. Regina deftly rolled them and straddled Emma’s waist. She looked up at Regina’s flushed cheeks and grinned, vowing to herself in that moment that she would at least try. Regina would be gone when the year was up. This week was her only chance and she would regret it forever if she didn’t at least try.

A few nights after Christmas, they snuck out after hours. The teachers were much less vigilant over the holidays and few prefects remained to notice their absence. As Head Girl, Regina probably could have gotten them out of trouble anyway. 

Regina dragged her up to the Astronomy Tower. They bypassed the normal classrooms and went into a hidden room off to the side. It led to some spiral stairs and Emma followed close behind Regina. When they got to the top, Emma tripped in surprise. Regina grabbed her arm and steadied her as she took in the view. The top of the stairs led to open air with no walls or ceiling. Just sky.

“Relax, dear. It’s only magic. There are walls,” she said, releasing Emma’s arm and looking around. She moved out into the center of the room. “Isn’t it marvelous? Only the most advanced Astronomy students are allowed to use it.”

“And those with strong stomachs,” Emma said watching Regina peer over the edge. The castle surrounded them, but they had an unimpeded view of the ice-covered lake. She wondered how the giant squid was fairing in the cold weather. The moon reflected off the icy surface and the stars lit Regina’s face.

“Beautiful,” Emma murmured. 

Regina turned to her with a smile. Her eyes narrowed on Emma’s face. “You aren’t even looking around. You are just looking at me.”

“I know.” Regina blinked as Emma drew closer. 

“Oh,” Regina said, realization dawning in her eyes.

Emma took her hands. “You’re more beautiful than the stars.”

“Emma,” Regina said softly. Emma reached for her cheek. It felt soft under her fingers. 

“You feel it too, right?” Emma asked leaning in. Surrounded by the stars, she touched her lips to Regina’s gently. She felt Regina respond and her heart lifted only to crash moments later as she felt hands push at her chest. Emma fell back in surprise. The soft wonder was gone from Regina’s face, replaced with cold anger. Emma felt her heart drop right into her stomach. 

“No, Swan, I don’t.” Regina said. Emma took a step back colliding into the wall. As Regina advanced, Emma could barely see the girl she loved beneath the quiet rage and clenched jaw. Emma couldn't understand why she was so angry.

“How could I love someone like you? You are nothing." Regina scoffed. "You may be a Quidditch star here, but in the real world, we all know you are worthless." Regina looked her up and down before looking away. "Like I would be with a penniless nothing like you. It's no wonder your parents abandoned you." It felt like Regina had reached into her memory for all the weaknesses Emma had ever revealed and had been determined to expose them all. Effectively and efficiently ripping Emma’s heart to pieces just as Emma knew her mother had taught her. Emma just couldn't fathom why. "Your friendship was just a joke between me and my friends. We laughed."

Emma couldn't take the abuse any longer and pushed past her without a word, blinking back tears. She looked back just once and saw that Regina had collapsed to the ground and was staring up at the sky. The light was just enough Emma could see tear tracks running down Regina's cheeks, but she couldn't let herself care. If Regina was willing to say those things, than it didn't matter if she cried about it after. Just because you feel bad about hurting someone doesn't automatically make the hurt go away. 

That night after sobbing out her heartache into her pillow, Emma lay in bed curled in the fetal position wondering about Regina's tears. They said she was a liar and a coward and they removed none of the hurt. She just wanted to know why. 

A few weeks later, she stopped caring about why and allowed herself to get angry. Finding Regina with her skirt hiked up and Maleficent's hands everywhere was the final straw. Mal Eldrax was exactly the type of person Regina professed to find worthy. Her family had power and money and her existence ruined any theory Emma had had about Regina being afraid to come out. Emma had no choice but to accept Regina for the horrible person she was and it killed her knowing she had let herself be fooled again. 

The next Christmas, she went home with Ruby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They actually talk in the next chapter. I swear.


	13. Chapter 13

Regina went for the liquor as soon as they were through the door. Emma gratefully took the rather full glass of whiskey from Regina and settled in her normal spot on the plush couch. She took a deep drink and relished the small measure of relief it brought her. After all the excitement of the day, her adrenaline was flagging and a drink was sorely needed. 

Regina lit the fire and remained standing in front of it with her back to Emma. She could see Regina’s hands clutching her glass like a lifeline and couldn't imagine this going well. The longer Regina remained silent, the more nervous Emma became about the conversation they were about to have. She wasn't convinced that this was the right night to try and talk about anything of importance. It had already been an emotional rollercoaster and all she really wanted was to go to her rooms and forget about it for a little while. She didn't want to fight anymore. 

It was entirely possible Regina was concocting a scathing diatribe meant to put Emma in her place and she didn't have the energy for that. Regina had seemed sincere about working together. The way she had invited her back to talk implied a very different kind of conversation, but Regina’s mind was something she hadn’t understood in a long time and she could only hope she hadn't been brought here for another argument. 

“Look, Regina. We’ve had a long night. Maybe we should wait to do this,” Emma said, sitting forward with her glass on her knee.

“We should have done this years ago,” Regina said, still looking at the fire. Emma leaned back and stared into her glass. Definitely a different kind of conversation. A scary kind of conversation. 

"I'm sorry for jumping on you like I did earlier. I was out of line," Emma offered, running her hands through her hair.

“I can't say I wouldn't have done the same,” Regina said. She smoothed her hands over her skirt before finally turning toward Emma. “It's what we do.”

"Doesn't make it right."

"No. It doesn't." Regina looked down. "We've let our anger dictate our interactions for a long time."

"It's not like you gave me any reason to stop being angry."

"I was angry, too."

Emma sat up straighter. "You were angry?” she asked, incredulously.

"Of course, I was angry." 

“For what? The inconvenience of my feelings? Or just that I treated you exactly the way you deserved to be treated after you what you did to me?”

“The inconvenience of your feelings…” Regina pursed her lips. “I wouldn't put it exactly like that." 

"How would you put it then?”

Regina took a deep breath. It stuttered out of her in the exhale. "Emma, you were the one person I could count on to see me as Regina, not Head Girl or Cora Mills’ daughter or whatever else they concocted in their heads about me. You were separated from all that and it was all ruined. You were my best friend.” 

"I thought I was just a joke."

“I lied," Regina said and took a deep gulp of her whiskey. 

“You lied? Why? What the fuck was the point of that? You could have just told me you didn’t feel that way about me. I could have handled that. You didn't have to hurt me the way you did.”

“I thought I did.” Emma frowned and opened her mouth to respond, but Regina held up her hand. "Let me try to explain. It’s not a very good explanation, but I was a teenager and well, dramatic. You can say whatever you want to me when I finish." Regina sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sure you'll have plenty." 

Emma fell back against the sofa with a huff. “I’m sure.” She waved her hand for Regina to continue.

Regina stood a little straighter, but looked back at the fire away from Emma. "I tried to put on a brave face for you that Christmas, but I was a mess. Daniel's death… it haunted me. I didn’t tell you, but my father died at the end of that summer. I didn't tell anyone.” Regina looked down into her glass. “I was having so much fun running around the school with you. It felt unfair and wrong to be enjoying myself when they couldn’t any longer. I felt so guilty and afraid.” 

Regina let out a sad laugh as she looked at Emma. “I was supposed to be sad and mourning, but I was happy and all I wanted to do was to kiss my stupid best friend.” Regina looked into the fire again and wrapped her arms around her waist as Emma leant forward in shock. "I felt like I was tarnishing Daniel’s memory by moving on. Every night I returned to the common room alone and felt so conflicted.”

“You could have talked to me,” Emma said, softly.

“I was really a mess back then, Emma. I hid it well, but." Regina shook her head and tilted her glass back. The ice hit her teeth. She gave Emma a wry smile as she lowered the glass. “I'm not much better now, but I have people to talk to and they tell me when I'm acting foolishly."

"I was your best friend. You could have talked to me. I would have been more than happy to tell you that you were being an idiot."

"I didn't want your last memory of me at school to be of this twisted wreck of a person. I didn't want to taint the only good thing I had left," Regina said shaking her head. 

"So, instead, you left me with the wonderful memory of a hateful bitch that thought I was worthless."

"I thought I was protecting you."

"By crushing me?"

"When you kissed me, all I could see was yet another loss. It felt like the kiss of death. I had to push you away as far as I could. I thought that everyone I truly loved would die and then I was even more scared because you would be next. I couldn’t lose you." Regina looked into her glass. "After you kissed me, I knew I could no longer be your friend. I would always be tempted knowing you felt the same and then you would be gone."

“I was gone anyway.”

“But you were alive.”

Emma's frown deepened. "And Mal Eldrax? You weren’t worried about her?" 

Regina winced. “I needed you to believe the lies I told you. I had to destroy any of the good you still felt for me.”

Emma closed her eyes for a long moment and rubbed her forehead. “God, you are the worst.” She opened her eyes and met Regina’s dead on. “Do you understand how much you hurt me? You were my best friend, too, you know. Why didn't you ever apologize? Why didn’t you ever try to make things right? How could you let me believe you thought those things about me? It killed me thinking the person that knew me best, thought I was worthless. Do you have any idea what that did to me? You had to push me away. Okay. Did you have to try and ruin any trust I had in other people in the process?"

Regina held her eyes. "I thought about trying to apologize after you graduated, but I hurt you so much and well you remember what happened… It was easier to let you hate me than to try and fix things.”

“Easier… You’re a coward,” Emma said, shaking her head. ”You should have tried.”

“You’re right. I should have, but fixing things between us felt insurmountable and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to fix them. I was still scared of you and somewhere along the line I started to blame you for all the whole mess.” Regina shook her head. “It was selfish.” Regina lowered her glass to the mantle of the fireplace. “You may not believe me, but pushing you away was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I hated you for it. You were always so rash about your decisions. It was easy to believe you kissed me without any concern to how I would feel about it.”

“I thought you felt the same and you did.”

“I know, but Emma did you think about me at all? How I would feel about it?”

“I thought you would be happy.”

“Because it would have made you happy. I don’t fault you for what you did. Not anymore. You were just trying to be true to your feelings. I understand that. At the time, however, I looked at it as if you had taken the only good thing in my life and ruined it. It was unforgivable. When you reacted with such anger toward me after, it made it easy to believe that you didn’t care about me at all.”

“You deserved my anger.”

“I know.” Regina took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling away from Emma. “You truly didn’t deserve what I did to you. I am sorry. I thought I was keeping you safe and ended up hurting you the most.” She met Emma’s eyes with a sad look. “I should have apologized a long time ago. It was wrong to treat you the way I have since. I’m not trying to excuse it. I just want you to understand."

Emma stared at her for a long moment before she looked down at her empty glass with a sigh. Regina quickly snatched it up and refilled it, obviously grateful to have something to do with her hands. She wanted to be angry at all the bullshit Regina had put her through, but instead she just felt tired.

“I may not have deserved what you did to me, but I should have known better than to push so soon after Daniel.” Emma said to her back. “You were right. I was rash. I got it into my head that if I didn’t say or do something right then you’d be lost to me forever. Pretty stupid when I think about how many times we ran into each other after. I mean we work together for god’s sake,” she said tilting her head back to look at the ceiling. “It was selfish. I was only thinking about myself and not about what you needed from me."

"We were teenagers. Selfishness is kind of a given," Regina said, handing the fresh glass to Emma, before retreating toward the fire again.

"Yeah, but you needed a friend more than a lover. I’m sorry I couldn’t see that.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah. No problem. Could you sit? Please? It’s weird having you stand over me like that.”

Regina awkwardly took her seat across from Emma, cradling her glass. They lapsed into an easy silence as they each processed the conversation. It was a lot to deal with all at once and they were both exhausted and a little tipsy. They had spent years of their life living with the consequences of that night and now it was out in the open. Emma couldn’t help but think of what could have been if Regina hadn’t been a coward and she hadn’t set aside that Regina was broken hearted. They could have been friends. They could have been more. She didn’t regret the years being an asshole. She still thought Regina deserved it. She just wished things had gone differently. 

Emma had pushed away so many people just to never feel the way she had that night and the many nights that followed. She had been scared, just as Regina had been scared. She hadn’t been nearly as callous as Regina, but she had ignored owls and went home with people when she knew it would hurt someone watching. She had justified it as protection as well. She had been saving them from wasting their time and emotions on someone who would never trust them.

“Where do we even go from here? Still think we can’t be friends?” Emma finally asked, looking up at the woman that had caused so many of her trust issues. 

“To be honest, I don’t know. I felt pretty sure after this conversation, you’d hate me even more,” Regina said playing with her glass.

“I don’t hate you. I never really hated you. I wanted to, but we were young.”

“And stupid.”

“Very stupid,” Emma said with a pointed look and sighed. “It doesn't make it better, but I guess I can understand why you did it to an extent. It’s nice to finally know why,” she said quietly. “So friends?” she asked with a slight tilt to her head.

“I am wrong from time to time.”

“Don't I know it,” Emma said before letting out a huff. “All this time and you loved me back.”

“Does it really matter? We can’t change the past.”

"It matters to me." 

Regina nodded into her glass. “I’m glad I finally told you.”

“Me too.” Emma leaned forward, her hair falling around her face. “You kept my presents. You have the watch in your pocket, don’t you? I saw it when you were tracking the timing for the play.” She looked up at Regina expectantly.

Regina shook her head and rolled her eyes. “And you looked through my desk.”

Emma grinned. “And I looked through your desk.”

“Snoop.”

“I’m a curious person,” Emma said with a shrug. “You were acting all kinds of shady. What did you expect?”

“My privacy not being invaded would have been nice.”

They were quiet for a long moment. “Did you ever wonder if I had been lying?” Regina asked cautiously.

“At first, but then there was Eldrax. Your performance was pretty persuasive,” Emma said, remembering Maleficent’s smug grin when she spotted Emma at the door. "That was really fucked up."

“Yes, well, I learned from my mother the most effective ways to hurt someone,” Regina said with a sigh. “I’m sorry. Back then everything was so life or death. Daniel made everything feel so terribly dangerous and then my father. It was too much loss.”

"I wish I knew about your father."

"I had ruined the previous Christmas by mourning. I didn't want to do it again. My mother discouraged me from telling anyone. She didn't want anyone to think of me as tragic. She said they would think I was weak."

“Your mother was a real piece of work.”

“I know.” Regina met Emma’s eyes after a moment. “I wanted you to kiss me back then.”

“I get that now.”

“I just wanted to say it out loud. I made you feel worthless over it and I just wanted to say it so you knew. You weren’t worthless. You were everything.”

Emma looked away. “And you threw it all away.”

“I did.”

“And you call me an idiot.”

Regina chuckled. “Just because I’ve made poor choices in the past doesn’t mean I’m not a good judge of idiocy. I am a teacher after all.”

“You kissed me not that long ago.”

“Like I said poor choices.”

“Care to explain that poor choice?”

“Not particularly,” Regina said. Emma raised her eyebrow and Regina sighed. “I suppose I did the very thing that I used to justify my anger at you.”

“Hmm?”

“I disregarded your feelings,” Regina said looking at the table. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“For a minute there, I wanted you to kiss me,” Emma said. Regina’s head snapped up and their eyes met. Emma coughed awkwardly and looked away. There was too much in Regina’s eyes for her to handle. She shouldn’t have said that. “So… friends?”

“Friends,” Regina said. Emma couldn’t be sure, but she thought she heard disappointment and it sent a rush through her spine that thoroughly terrified her. 

 

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The next morning, Emma woke up feeling raw. Her eyes were puffy as if she’d spent the night crying. She rubbed them weakly as she studied herself in front of her mirror. As she covered the bags under her eyes with makeup, she wondered what breakfast would bring. She was nervous, but excited to see Regina. It was a new day and everything had changed. She didn’t know what being a friend to Regina was going to be like.

She finally had the truth. It had been close to what she had wanted to hear from the beginning. Regina had taken responsibility for her actions and hadn’t tried to place the blame solely on her shoulders. If they had tried this conversation a year ago, she was sure Regina would have blamed her entirely. Even a few months ago, Regina would have probably have just told her to fuck off. Instead, Regina owned up to her actions and the pain she had brought. It felt amazing. Holding onto the resentment for so long had weighed her down and now she could finally free be of it. They could be friends. 

She had wanted it earlier in the year, but she wondered if she could really trust Regina. Could a decade long feud really be solved with honesty? She wouldn’t be a good Gryffindor if she didn’t at least try just because she was scared, but she was scared and she really hoped it would all be worth it.

As Emma made her way into the Great Hall, she scanned the room for Regina. She wasn’t up at the teachers’ table and the other teachers were giving her odd looks. She belatedly remembered the fact their play had flopped big time and groaned wondering if Regina had bailed on breakfast to avoid facing the other staff.

As she made her way to the front, she spotted Regina hovering awkwardly by the chair she sat in every Christmas. The first year in the chair looked extremely uncomfortable. Emma shook her head and redirected her course toward her former nemesis turned tentative friend.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Emma said, with a timid smile as she sidled up. “This isn’t going to be fun, is it?”

Regina’s eyes remained on the table at the front. "I expect not. Leroy has been looking for something to rub in my face for ages."

“You know the students started calling him Grumpy around the same time they started with the Evil Queen business.”

“After Snow White’s dwarf?”

“Yep,” Emma said, mischievously and she could tell that Regina had little doubt that Emma had been behind that association as well.

“I can’t say it’s not fitting,” Regina said with a sniff.

“At least we’re together.” Regina gave her a strange look and she blushed. “In this. Uh, you know to face them.” 

Regina’s lips turned up slightly into a small smile. “So we are. Shall we get on with it?”

“If we have to. We could just sneak back to my room. I could steal some toast.”

“They’ve already spotted us and I’d rather not encourage thievery,” she said, looking at the students who were eavesdropping rather obviously. 

“Yes. You are right. Stealing is very wrong," Emma said loudly. Regina shook her head in what Emma hoped was a fond way.

“It’s probably best to present a united front. It would be worse if they caught us alone.”

Emma snorted. “Us, a united front. Who would have thought?”

“Certainly not me,” Regina said, heading for the table. Emma followed closely behind. 

“Me either.”


	14. Chapter 14

After breakfast, Regina headed back to her rooms to prepare for the last day of class. The final performance was officially canceled. The set was too damaged and the cast was in shambles. Mary Margaret hadn’t left the Infirmary Ward until after breakfast. 

The students were leaving either that night or early the next morning and Christmas break would really begin. Minerva had tasked her with the unenviable apology letters. She set a quill to the task as she thought about the morning.

Breakfast had gone surprisingly well. She had almost expected Emma to change her mind over night. Whenever she had imagined telling Emma the truth, she had always taken a much more confrontational role, passing off as much of the blame onto Emma as possible. It was probably why she expected Emma to be angrier than she was. 

Instead of being angry, Emma had stood with her. Her good humor about it kept everyone from being as disparaging as they would have been if it had been Regina’s failure alone. Her homicidal inclinations were kept at bay as Emma made jokes about breaking Hogwarts’ theatre curse with a True Love Kiss in the next play. It shouldn’t have been surprising after their meetings in the fall, but she still found herself surprised at the ease that they had working in tandem. 

 

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The next morning the school woke to a fresh layer of snow blanketing the grounds. The sky over the Great Hall that morning had promised another snowfall and the students were impossible to calm as they rushed through the snow towards the Hogwarts Express. The holidays had begun and the excitement was palatable.

Before the break, she had sought permission to take Henry to Hogsmeade from Professor Longbottom. Since she hadn’t intended to stay, they had scheduled it for that day instead of later in the holiday. She was glad she had given Henry had something to be excited about today, too. She remembered being one of the few students that stayed and how alone it had felt that first year without Emma.

As she looked out her window, she knew the storm would hit while they were down in the village. She pulled together a weather appropriate outfit and wondered if the boy had the right footwear and outwear needed for their excursion. She remembered his ratty shoes and hoped he at least thought to wear extra socks.

An idea had been forming in her head since she met the boy and the more time that passed the image became clearer. She imagined the happy smile that would be on his face opening Christmas presents in the grand living room of her mansion and his ruddy cheeks after a few hours playing out in the snow. She wanted to give him that. She wanted to be his best chance. She had many worries, but she couldn’t remember ever wanting something so much, except for maybe Emma.

When Henry appeared in the Entrance Hall, he wasn’t alone. Emma was ruffling his hair playfully as they came around the corner and he was grinning so hard his cheeks must have hurt. It was familiar in a way she had never been with the boy and she felt like she was intruding on their time together when it was the other way around. 

She used to balk at the easy way Emma interacted with the students. Now she found herself envying it and it ruined her excitement to be spending a morning with Henry. How could she compete?

“Hey Regina. I ran into the kid on the way down. I’m heading to Hogsmeade as well. Mind if I walk down with you?” Emma asked with a bright smile.

“That’s fine. Mr. Mills shall we go?” Regina said. She saw Emma shoot her a surprised look at her tone out of the corner of her eyes, but she ignored her and kept her eyes on Henry and his jacket that was two sizes too big.

He nodded excitedly and Regina smiled, leading the way out into the cold all the while wishing the boy had better clothes. When Emma saw the snow just passed the door, she hesitated and grabbed Henry’s arm. “Wait.” She pulled off her beanie and placed it on his head with a triumphant smile. “Can’t have you catching your death or you could sue the school.” 

“If I was dead, I don’t think I’d be able to sue anyone.”

“Well, your…” Emma started, but immediately realized what she was about to say and switched directions, “your health is very important to me.” Henry didn’t seem to catch the near misstep and Emma gave her a relieved look. Regina just rolled her eyes.

The walk to Hogsmeade felt stilted and awkward to Emma. Henry did his best to ease the tension by rambling about everything he could think of, focusing on his excitement to see his first true fully Wizard village. Regina kept her attention entirely on him and Emma felt like a third wheel. 

She studied Regina’s face and wondered about the sudden turn around. They had been friendly at breakfast again this morning and arranged to meet in the evening to start planning. She probably felt like Emma was intruding on her time with the boy. Emma really wasn’t used to seeing her like this. The guarded looks she recognized, but the soft ones toward Henry had become unfamiliar. They reminded her of when they were girls. She had seen those looks when Regina had talked about horses and Daniel. 

Regina had never been too interested in Quidditch, but she never missed a game when Emma started playing. Emma always found her in the crowd as she soared over the Ravenclaws. She remembered when Daniel came into Regina’s life. The looks they gave each other cuddled together had given Emma hope for herself. Regina looked like that now. 

Henry was absorbing the affection like Regina was a breath of fresh air and he’d been drowning. Emma remembered feeling like when she was young and she hated that she had doubts about it. But Regina was playing a dangerous game with the boy’s feelings whether she knew it or not. She was loath to interfere especially with how happy Henry looked, but Regina was his teacher not his mother and she seemed to be forgetting that.

When they reached the quiet little town, Henry and Regina looked toward her in askance. Regina looked conflicted and Henry seemed unsure. She saved them the trouble and excused herself. Regina seemed relieved that she chose to leave and Emma felt proud of herself for making the right choice. 

They had had an emotional few days. She didn’t know where they were going with their friendship, but she wanted to do it right. Respecting Regina’s needs seemed the best course of action, if, of course, she could actually figure them out. It was possible Regina just needed space from her right now. She had spent a good deal of time over the last day obsessing over her part in her own heartbreak and didn’t want to make the same mistakes again.

Walking around Hogsmeade felt strange during the winter break. She was so used to going during the weekends when there were students swarming the streets. She enjoyed the quiet though and the town looked gorgeous decked out for the holiday. Lights were strewn through the trees and everyone greeted her with a smile. Most of her gifts had been purchased by owl or during previous trips to the town. It wasn’t like she had a lot to buy. She had been more interested in getting out of the castle. 

As she wandered into a shop, looking for a present for Tamara, she wondered if she should buy something for Regina. It might be a little too much too soon, but she also didn’t want to be left without a gift if Regina bought her something. She remembered the gifts Regina had kept and made up her mind. She thought back to the other morning when Regina stood so awkwardly at their spot in the Great Hall. She smiled to herself. She knew exactly what to give her.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Henry had little in the way of spending money and they focused on things he needed. He had made a few presents for his friends already and they calculated what they would have left if he wanted to supplement them. It wasn’t much, but they still spent an exorbitant amount of time in Honeydukes picking things for them. She treated him to some chocolate frogs and hoped desperately he wouldn’t get her mother’s card. 

With a little persuading, he even convinced her to go to into Zonko’s. She gave him a stern warning over the more disruptive of jokes and steered him toward the safer of the joke items, things that would make his friends roar like lions and bark like dogs. 

They finished over at the Three Broomsticks just as the snow started to fall and she treated him to his first butterbeer. After wandering the snowy town, it really hit the spot. They settled by a window in the quiet tavern and talked about the many sights she had shown him during their walk. He was particularly interested in the history of the Shrieking Shack. When Professor Lucas had taken up residence at the castle, the inside had been updated for inclement weather, but it had kept its creepy exterior in memoriam. 

Henry asked about her Christmas shopping slyly as he spied Emma walking towards the tavern. She told him she had finished before the year had even begun. 

“Are you going to get something for Professor Swan?” he asked, nodding toward the snow-covered blonde. “You seemed more friendly the last two breakfasts.” She raised an eyebrow. “I know! No promises. I just like seeing you two get along.” 

Regina chuckled, following his eyes toward Emma. “We're working on it.” She pursed her lips. “Do you want to see if she’ll join us?” she asked. He lit up. 

“Do you think she will?”

“Doesn’t hurt to ask.” As Emma was walking passed, she knocked on the window startling her. She signaled her to come join them. Emma seemed conflicted and she regretted her earlier attitude, hoping it hadn’t put the woman off her again. She smiled at her trying to convey her welcome and finally Emma shrugged and made her way in brushing snow out off her beanie. Regina scooted over to make room and Emma smiled down at her.

 

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“So I stopped by your rooms last night to check up on you and let you know the grievous punishments I handed out to the troublemakers, but I saw you and Emma head in your rooms so I thought I’d give you two your privacy to murder each other. Can you imagine my surprise this morning to find you both not only unscathed, but friendly? Weird and awkward, but friendly!” Kathryn said as she pushed passed Regina and strolled into her rooms.

“You left me to be murdered?” Regina asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“Besides the point, Regina!” Kathryn said, throwing her hands up.

“Wouldn’t be if I had been murdered,” Regina said as she pushed the door shut.

“Regina!”

“We talked,” Regina said. “That’s all.”

“You talked. That’s all you are going to give me? Really?”

Regina sighed and moved to make some tea. “We were honest for once. It was good. We cleared the air once and for all.”

“Finally. Now you guys can move onto the good parts.”

“I swear if you try to make this into a romance again I will actually murder you.”

“But you still love her.” 

Regina closed her eyes with another sigh. “Kathryn, please.” She wasn't sure what she felt anymore, but she was determined not to let her emotions ruin everything again. A small part of Emma had wanted her to kiss her and she didn't know what to do with that.

“Fine. Fine. You know I just want you to be happy.”

“So you say. Look how well it turned out last time.”

“Okay. You have a point there,” Kathryn said with a small smile. “So you talked.”

“As I said.” Kathryn just rolled her eyes as Regina continued. “I talked and she actually listened.” Regina bit her lip. “I think she forgives me.”

“That’s big of her.”

“Thanks.”

“Have you forgiven her?” Kathryn asked carefully.

“I did kiss her.” 

Kathryn laughed. “You did.”

“I have forgiven her. She was just being honest with herself when I couldn’t. I can’t fault her for that anymore. She had terrible timing, but we were both young.” She placed a cup of tea in front of Kathryn. “I think we are ready to move forward instead of constantly slamming ourselves into the same brick wall,” Regina said. 

“I’m proud of you.” Kathryn grinned. 

“Can we talk about something else?” Regina asked as she sat across from her.

“So, Minerva is really going to let you continue?”

“Yes. The students cornered her and demanded a second chance. She was impressed by their enthusiasm. Henry Mills gave a stirring speech and some improved grades were presented.” Kathryn guffawed.

“Well, isn’t that something. The Evil Queen saved by the peasants. They really had improved grades with all the extra play work?”

“I expect a high level of excellence from my students. Of course their grades improved. I do know how to teach other subjects besides Potions.”

Kathryn laughed again. “I know. I know. You are the brilliant Head Girl capable in all subjects. Did you know Swan stepped in for me last year and covered my class? She did a fantastic job.” 

Regina raised her eyebrows. “A woman of many hidden talents.”

“To be fair she did have them trying to calculate the results of some Quidditch matches.” Regina snorted.

“She would.”

They sat in a comfortable silence. Regina debated with herself whether to reveal to Kathryn what she was planning. She had been thinking about for a while, but putting it out into the world was a daunting concept. 

“I want Henry Mills to be my son,” she finally blurted out. She winced at her own choice of words, but they were out and she had finally said them. It was better that saying he was her son she supposed.

“Who wouldn’t? He’s such a sweet kid. I hope he takes Arithmancy. I still can’t believe he had the nerve to stand up to Minerva. Such a little Gryffindor. You know who he reminds me of?” 

Kathryn rambled as Regina looked away. Kathryn noticed the movement and her eyes widened. “Wait. You are being serious.” Regina licked her lips and looked up at Kathryn with a slight nod. “Oh wow. I don’t even know what to say.”

“That’s a first.” 

Kathryn just laughed. It amazed her how much Kathryn laughed. Their friendship had been the first real one she had ever had beside Emma. They had both come from wealthy families, but rejected their parents’ interference. Kathryn had been a great help after she graduated. The woman was a few years older and had been on her own for a few years already. They became roommates and eventually friends. 

“Are you really sure about this Regina? He’s your student. This could cause all kinds of complications.” Kathryn leaned forward studying her. “You haven’t really connected with any of the students since the Mary Margaret debacle. Are you sure you aren’t latching onto him because he’s the first you’ve let close since?”

Regina shook her head. “I just feel like he’s meant to be my son. I can’t explain it.”

“You care about him that much?”

“I do. Is that crazy?”

“Maybe a little. Have you really thought about this? I mean he’s a ten-year-old boy. You’ve only known him a few months.”

“I think I’ve known since the first time I met him. I’ve been thinking about it ever since.” Regina met her eyes. “I want this.”

“Wow. Well, they say when you know, you know. I’ll put you in contact with some of my lawyer friends in the family court. They will get you started.”

“Thank you, Kathryn.”

“What are friends for?” she asked. 

Her eyes suddenly misted and she pulled Regina into a hug that she returned awkwardly. “Oh, you are just growing up so fast.” Regina pulled back with a glare. Kathryn smiled at her. “First reconciling with Emma and now this? I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up.”

“Well, you could finally marry Frederick.”

“And give up my dream of being a ballroom dancer? Never.”

“Says the Arithmancy professor.”

“Exactly. I could use a little spontaneity in my life. Though I suppose you have me covered in that regard. Wow. Mama Mills.” She tilted her head. “You know I can see it.”

“Ha Ha Kathryn.”

“No, really. I think you’ll make a wonderful mother for Henry.”

“Well, I still need to speak to Minerva and the lawyers.”

“We’ll make it happen. I know it.”

 

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Regina’s rooms hadn’t changed at all since she’d last been in them back in the fall. They still felt oddly welcoming even if Regina seemed a bit out of sorts. She hovered by her liquor cabinet hesitantly and Emma debated the merits of adding liquor to their already tense meeting. She wondered what happened to the Regina of The Three Broomsticks. She felt like she was on an emotional rollercoaster with Regina and it was exhausting. She was feeling unsteady and awkward and figured drinks might help them relax. 

“I think a glass of cider would do me good about now,” she said and Regina looked relieved she didn’t have to make the decision. She handed Emma her glass and took the seat across from her. She had her notebook in her lap just as she had during their first meeting so many months ago. Emma noticed a small tremor in Regina’s hand as she lifted her glass to her lips.

“So this is more awkward than I thought it would be.”

“Yes well. Why don’t we just get down to business?”

“And ignore the elephant in the room. I don’t think so. That hasn’t really worked all that well for us in the past.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Regina said, placing her glass down and opening her notebook. 

“Really? You really want to pretend things aren’t different between us now that we are alone?”

“I want to put on a play, Miss Swan.”

“Back to Miss Swan so soon?”

Regina gave her a pointed look. “Fine. Emma. Can we get on with this? I don’t have all night and we only have the next two weeks to pull something together.”

“Fine. Fine. Just one question.”

“On with it then.”

“Are we still friends? Or are you over that already?”

Regina looked at her with pursed lips. “If that is what you want.”

“What I want? I thought that had been the problem before. What do you want?”

“As I said, to get on with the play.”

“Fine. You are my friend and get no say in the matter,” she said with a glare. “Since you suddenly don’t want one,” she muttered. Regina rolled her eyes, but Emma could see the hint of a smile pull at the corner of her mouth.

“So have any ideas this time for what play we should do?” Emma asked.

“I honestly didn’t think we’d make it this far.”

Emma laughed. “Well, I was thinking we could go your route this time. You know get the students involved in what we do,” she said to Regina’s curious look.

“You were right though. It would be chaos.”

“I have an idea about that.”

“Go on.”

“Back when that business with the fairy tales and your nickname started, I wrote some scenes of modern fairy tales with modern twists. I know it’s a kinda popular idea right now, but I mean your nickname took off like wild fire without my intention. I thought it would be interesting to write a story like that.”

“You want the students to perform your writing?”

“Not exactly. I have a few things written, but I think the students would love the chance to write some of their own. Maybe mix and match Muggle fairy tales with some of old Beedle’s tales.”

Regina hummed under her breath. “That could actually work. Would we have the time? This would be on a bigger scale than the last show.”

“I don’t know. You are the logistics one.”

“It’s an idea. Perhaps a good one at that. May I read what you’ve written? You said you had scenes? You wrote them as a screenplay?”

“Yeah. I’m not much of a writer, but I’ve been thinking about doing this club for a long time so I thought I’d try my hand at it. I have a couple here,” she said pulling out some parchment from her robe. “I’d have to tone down some of the others if we want to use them. They got a bit racy. I never really meant for the students to go near them.”

“Would we want to have some more controversial themes?”

“You been reading Sappho in the Theatre, haven’t you?” Emma asked with a grin. Regina blushed lightly.

“I’m just thinking about what it means to add a modern twist to old stories.”

“Well, Ireland voted for same sex marriage by popular vote so we might be able to pull it off.”

“At least in subtext.”

“Let’s see what the students come up before we introduce them to my Sapphic love stories.” Regina laughed and Emma grinned. They could do this. Be friends. It would just take a bit of care. They were used to a very different kind of relationship. 

“Would we want an overarching story or just a bunch of shorts?"

Emma hummed in consideration. “We could come up with an arc and let the students decide the background stories. I’d like the theme to be that we’re all just people regardless of what happened to us, who we are or what we believe. I mean that’s what a lot of those old tales say to me.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

“You are agreeing with me a lot tonight.”

“Isn’t that what friends do? Agree with each other’s stupid ideas?” Regina asked with a serious face. Emma stared at her until Regina’s face cracked and she smiled. "I apologize. I've been a little out of sorts today."

"It's okay."

"I appreciate that you gave me space while we were in Hogsmeade."

"You don't need me breathing down your neck every five minutes. I'm sorry I intruded."

"I wouldn't have invited you for Butterbeers if I felt you were intruding. I just wasn't prepared."

"That's understandable. I appreciate you talking to me. It's very friendly."

Regina rolled her eyes. "I'm working on it."


	15. Chapter 15

"Felis Catus."

The gargoyle swung aside revealing the daunting spiral stairs to the Headmistress' office. She wiped her damp palms on her robes as she climbed the stairs. 

She had spoken with a few of Kathryn’s lawyers over the last couple days and they had been optimistic about her chances. But she was a single, queer, Latina teacher, who had once been accused of inappropriate relations with a student. How could it possibly be easy? 

The accusations had been dropped and her accuser discredited, but she knew they would be brought up again. Without Minerva's support she wouldn’t stand a chance. 

She looked up at the door and straightened her back before knocking firmly on the door. Minerva’s voice welcomed her in and she steeled her nerves before pushing it open. The Headmistress smiled at her from her desk. She was here as a professional and unlike the last time she hadn’t done anything wrong. She put on a smile as the crossed into the room. 

“Would you like some tea?” McGonagall asked. Regina nodded and took the high-backed chair across from her. Minerva pushed a cup toward her and Regina took it gratefully. Minerva always had the best tea in the castle. As Potions Master she found it rather annoying that the Headmistress had better suppliers than she herself did. The tea calmed her nerves and she really wished she knew whom to bribe to get her hands on some. 

“Shall we jump to the point of this meeting or do you wish to make small talk as you work up the courage to ask me whatever it is you need?” McGonagall asked before taking a sip of her tea.

Regina set her cup down reluctantly. She appreciated Minerva's bluntness. She tolerated it from few people, but preferred it from the woman in front of her. “I would like your permission to adopt one of my students.”

Minerva nodded as if she’d been expecting that and perhaps she had. “The Mills boy?”

“Yes. Henry.”

“He’s taken quite a shine to you.”

“And I to him.”

“Clearly.” The professor’s face was unreadable as she studied Regina. She struggled not to fidget and silently thanked her mother’s training. “You are a smart woman, Regina. I'm sure you have spent a long time deciding this. I won’t stand in your way, but I advise you to be very careful.”

“Thank you, Minerva.”

“Just be careful, Regina. Getting close to students hasn’t always worked out for you.”

“I remember.”

“I’m sure you do,” Minerva said, removing her glasses and looking up at her. “Do you need a recommendation?”

“That might make all the difference.”

“Of course. I’ll have it to you shortly. I expect you’ll keep me informed.”

“Of course. Thank you.”

“How are the play preparations coming along?”

“Well.”

“Is that all you have to say about it?”

“It has only been a few days. We are trying it your way. Mutual cooperation. We’ve made some decisions that I think we’ll be beneficial to the students.”

“Tell me about them.”

 

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The traditional Christmas decorations filled the Great Hall. Grand pine trees lined the sides with bright lights flickering in their depths. Emma looked around with a fond smile. She always felt lucky she still got to enjoy Hogwarts at Christmas. It was a luxury afforded to few. 

To most it probably wasn’t seen as a luxury, just a sad holiday without family. They didn’t understand how brilliant Hogwarts was during the holiday. She wondered if Harry Potter ever missed Hogwarts at Christmas. With his large family, she doubted it. She couldn’t imagine it.

After she graduated, she had mixed feelings about the holiday, mostly due to the ever-present memory of Regina. When she had taken the position, she had avoided the castle during the holiday. It was eventually brought to her attention that Regina was just as ardent about avoiding the castle. She began to stay even with the invitations to sleep on Neal’s couch.

This year Regina had stayed. It was the first time since they were students. She watched Regina from across the Hall chatting to Kathryn and Frederick. When she saw Emma watching, she gave her a shy smile. Emma grinned back at her and gave her a small wave. It tugged at her heart seeing Regina under the Christmas lights again and she could almost imagine a flower crown on her head.

Emma joined Ruby and Granny at their table with the smile still lingering. When Ruby had gotten the job at Hogwarts, Granny sold her little diner and took over the Infirmary Wing with gusto. Ruby had whined about it for a few months, but discovered that she actually enjoyed having the old woman around. 

Granny didn’t have to work nearly as hard as she did running the diner and as much as Ruby hated to admit it, she found it nice to have her Granny there for her transformations. Even with Regina’s potions, it was exhausting and Granny’s gruff comfort couldn’t be beat. 

Emma loved the old war nurse and her badass attitude. After she graduated, Granny had given her a job at the old diner as she got her life together. In a world where she had nothing, it had been something. 

She spotted Henry digging into a large plate of food and hoped he would be as lucky as she had been. She looked over at Regina. She hoped Regina would be there for him. Emma laughed to herself. She could help him too if it came to it. She was an adult now, after all, with contacts of her own in the real world. Henry was a smart boy. He would make his own friends and his own life. He wouldn’t need meddling teachers.

The feast ended when everyone had filled their bellies and drank too much. Ruby led a red-faced Granny away after one too many inappropriate stories. The students left with wide grins and arms laden with gifts from the crackers. She remembered her shock when she found out she could keep the presents. She still had all of them tucked away in a box. 

Regina had told her after she noticed Emma's confusion when she tried to trade a practical joke set for a funky bracelet. Emma could still remember the look on her face. It hadn’t been pity. Regina had been happy to share the good news. Regina had been born to a rich family, but Emma knew in that moment it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. The wonder on Henry’s face reminded her of all of that. 

As Ruby led Granny away, Emma searched for Regina and couldn’t find her. She hoped she wasn’t too late and made a quick detour to the kitchens where the House Elves had her treat waiting for her. On the walk over to Regina’s room, she clutched the tart and felt adrenaline coursing through her veins. 

She might be pushing the boundary with her little gift, but it felt like the right thing to do. She just wanted to give Regina a reminder of how good their friendship used to be. 

She knocked lightly on Regina’s door and fidgeted feeling the warmth of the pastry through the cloth. After a few moments Regina opened the door wearing a fine grey night robe. Her frown disappeared when she saw Emma, but her confusion held.

“Emma?”

“Hey. Sorry to bother you so late. I just wanted to give this to you.” She thrust the warm apple tart toward Regina. She looked at it in Emma’s hand in surprise before taking it with a small laugh and a shake of her head. She opened the napkin reverently.

“My favorite. I don’t have…”

“No! Don’t worry about that. I wasn’t expecting anything. Really!” Emma interrupted, tucking her hands into her pockets and rocking back.

“As I was saying before you interrupted me, I don’t have your gift as it’s been delivered to your rooms by a House Elf.” Regina smiled down at the apple tart. “You’ll be amused, I’m sure.”

“Is it a drawing of a horse?” Emma asked with a grin.

“I guess you’ll have to see. Would you like to come in for a nightcap?” Regina asked carefully. 

Emma shook her head at the offer. It seemed too much like testing fate. This was enough. Regina thanked her again and Emma caught the hint of disappointment. 

“Happy Christmas, Emma.”

“Happy Christmas.”

On her bed was indeed a drawing. It wasn’t of a horse though. It was a picture of her teaching her students. It was only a rough sketch and Regina clearly hadn’t kept up with the hobby, but it was perfect and made her heart ache in just the right way.

 

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New Year’s Eve came quicker than usual. They had filled the time with planning and before they knew it they were leading a group of excited students to watch Professor Flitwick’s firework display up in the Astronomy Tower. 

Emma fell into step behind Regina as they climbed the stairs, but as they reached the top instead of following Ruby and the other teachers, Emma grabbed Regina’s hand and dragged her to the door of the Advanced Astronomy Tower. They climbed the spiral stairs in silence hand in hand and Emma kept her eyes ahead afraid to push her luck by looking back. 

The room was the same, but Emma still looked around in awe as she dropped Regina’s hand. The night was clear and perfect for fireworks. The students were huddled together on the terrace below them and they could see that no one had missed them. 

“What are we doing up here?” Regina asked, looking around. The illusion on the walls let them see everything, but the walls shielded them from the cold and kept their voices from traveling down to the students. Regina felt exposed and uncomfortable. She didn’t like the sadness and fear this room reminded her of. 

“New Years is about fresh starts, new beginning and all that. That’s what we are trying to do right? Have a fresh start? This seems like the perfect place for that,” Emma said looking out over the castle grounds.

The fireworks started and lit the room with fanciful colors and lights. Emma’s eyes turned to the sky, but Regina kept her eyes on Emma. She never thought they would ever get to a place where everything was out in the air and they had forgiven each other. Now they were standing where their worst betrayal had occurred and it was okay. It felt right and good. 

Emma turned back and smiled. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yes. It is.” Regina murmured, moving to stand beside Emma. “It certainly is.”

 

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She had left Emma with a kiss on the cheek. As she returned to her rooms, she could still feel Emma’s skin on her lips. She brushed her lips with her fingertips absently as she moved around her room getting ready for bed. It had never felt possible to have a clean slate with Emma. She had been too thorough in her destruction. Now she’d been offered a new beginning and she refused to squander it. Her heart ached with the possibilities and she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about the romantic aspects of the future, but that night everything felt possible.

Under her sheets, she imagined a family comprised of her, Emma and Henry. It seemed like the perfect dream. Her large home would no longer feel like a tomb of old angry memories. They could fill it with joy and love and for once Regina felt like she could do it, fill her future with love instead of anger and disappointment. 

Such hope was unfamiliar to her, but she hoped and planned as she lay in bed. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. She would have an army of lawyers and her inheritance would finally be put to good use. Henry would never have to live without love again.

Emma was trickier. She had already been rejected once. She knew it hadn’t been her best idea and at the time it had been highly inappropriate. She couldn’t simply demand or rush Emma into it. She would have to woo her and she felt fairly sure she could do that. She would woo her and then wait until Emma came to her. She would let her know she would be open to it and see what happened. She would do things right this time. She’d take her time and not rush what she hoped was inevitable. She would be worthy this time. For both of them. She hoped.

She fell asleep with the image of Emma’s smile lit by the light of the fireworks. It was an easy, restful sleep. For once she had a plan. She would find her happy ending somehow and she wouldn’t stand in the way. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

All of the students were fascinated to hear the Drama Club was given a second chance though some were skeptical. When they arrived at the castle, they found the large notice Regina and Emma had prepared. It described all the new changes to the club. 

The Evil Regals were disappointed with the new structure. They had become an insular group and didn’t like the idea of working with Professor Swan or other students. 

Henry and Belle advocated for the new format, blaming the failure of the first play on the rivalry that had developed between the cast and crew. The two of them were well liked, but the Slytherin trio had created quite a lot of animosity amongst the crew. It was easy to blame the three of them for everything instead of taking any of the blame on themselves. 

The sign said to bring your favorite fairy tale or fable and to try and imagine it differently. It also suggested they come up with their own fairy tale. The students were convinced Mary Margaret would be a shoe in for Snow White. Henry and Belle both headed for the library.

During a study hall, Regina overheard a group of Gryffindors discussing story ideas. She smiled to her until she heard “Red Riding Hood Werewolf Hunter”. While she found the idea clever, she knew it could become problematic fast. She wondered what exactly Emma Swan had gotten her into.

 

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The first meeting of the restructured Drama Club was full of new faces, which frankly surprised Regina and Emma. When Emma had brought it up with her students, many seemed put off by the chaos that had ensued. She heard one student whisper that he had no intentions of being turned into a worm or humiliated in front of the whole student body. Emma could respect that.

The new influx of members were mostly drawn to the new writing focus and perhaps the hint of adventure the massive fight on stage had implied. The amazing set designs and spell craft had been a draw as well and seemed to have brought some fresh blood to the Evil Regals as well. Emma recognized a few from the previous audition that hadn’t joined the stage crew. She wondered who would drop out once the new cast was decided and she hoped that they would find something worthwhile to stay for. 

She was pleased to spot one of her favorite students amongst the crowd. Lancelot had a better head for computers than even she did and had brought along a cheerful group of Hufflepuffs. They seemed just the sort the club needed. 

Most of the original members returned with the exception being the three that had caused all the trouble. Henry had latched onto the fairy tale theme faster than anyone and his enthusiasm had been contagious spreading through the Evil Regals and helping them put aside their reservations.

His massive book of fairy tales was a great jump off point for their meeting. It was a dark collection of stories that ended with the Evil Queen winning and cursing the entire realm to live without magic. It had exactly the kind of stories they were looking for, even if it took itself a bit too seriously for Emma’s taste. She hoped there would be a bit more humor to their play than what she saw in the book.

While some of older kids were trying to convince him the book was bound in human skin, Emma nudged Regina. “That Evil Queen looks awfully familiar.”

“Again with the name calling, Miss Swan.”

Emma explained to the students what she had done and what she hoped they would do. A boy toward the back shouted, “We better be building a castle. Promises were made,” he said eying Henry.

Regina and Emma looked at Henry with raised eyebrows and he shrugged innocently. 

“What would a play about fairy tales be without a castle?” Henry asked. 

They sent the wannabe masons to the library to gather reference materials for the castle designs and Regina reminded them to keep it simple, but she doubted they were listening as they scurried off. Belle French seemed torn between wanting to do research and wanting to help with the stories. Regina hoped this new format would allow her to do both.

Since Regina knew the students better, having taught all of them at one time or another, she separated them into groups to discuss the story ideas. They only had a short window to put everything together and she put together groups she thought would work best together. 

As Regina drifted amongst the groups, she heard Red the Werewolf Hunter mentioned again. She sidled over to Emma and murmured, “We may have to have Ruby in to discuss werewolf rights with the students.”

“Why?”

“They’ve turned Red Riding Hood into a psychotic werewolf hunter.”

Emma snorted. “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe she can learn the error of her ways?”

“That’s what I’m hoping Ruby could push them toward.”

“Fair enough. I’ll ask her at dinner.”

The students returned from the library and Regina started looking over their choices as Emma began listening to the ideas the group presented. A magic piece of chalk recorded the best ideas onto a board behind her. A few of the students broke off and joined Regina and the crew as they looked over potential castle designs. 

When they finished presenting their story ideas, Regina and her group rejoined them and helped vote on the best ideas. They all left with an assignment, to think about the stories and imagine them on stage. Regina was fond of the prince stuck in a tree story someone suggested. 

As students at the end surrounded them, eager to discuss their ideas, Regina and Emma shared a smile over their heads. As chaotic as it was, they knew that they were doing it right this time.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's for Drue

The first treat appeared on her desk the day after the Drama Club reconvened. She nearly crushed it as she tossed her books haphazardly onto her desk, but the white linen covering it caught her eye just in time. Her students watched her curiously as she lifted the cloth and inspected the pastry. There was no note underneath or any other indication of who left it for her. She looked over her class searching for the culprit, but they all seemed just as curious as she was.

She had taken to poking the suspicious sweet when it dawned on her. That first Christmas, she had told Regina that the thing she missed most about the Muggle world were bear claws. It seemed a ridiculous and impossible thing for Regina to remember, but she couldn't imagine it was from anyone else. Her face lit up in a stupid grin at the idea and she took a large bite. The groan she let out was probably a bit inappropriate in front of her students, but it just tasted so good.

“Who is that from, Professor Swan?” asked a mischievous Weasley descendent.

“None of your business,” she said, mouth full of pastry.

“Professor Swan has an admirer!”

“Do you think it’s a student?”

Emma swallowed. “Ew. You guys are babies. That’s just wrong.”

“But it’s from an admirer!”

“I didn’t say that," Emma said. 

“She’s smiling so she must know who it’s from.”

“By not telling us, you are making it worse.”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t be so mysterious about it if you didn't want us to know.”

“I’m not being mysterious,” Emma said, getting her notes in order for the day.

“Then just tell us who it’s from!”

Emma put on a fake smile. “Okay! Time for class!”

“Totally mysterious!” 

The class broke off into speculation until she finally threw her hands into the air. “Fine! It’s from Professor Mills. Okay? See? Obviously not an admirer.” The room fell silent in shock. 

“I ship it,” came a quiet voice in the back and the room erupted all over again. Emma dropped her head to the desk in defeat.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Their second round was nearly gone when Regina had finally built up enough nerve to address the reason for dragging Ruby in for drinks.

“Could you… Would you…”

“Just spit it out, Regina,” Ruby said from her spot draped across Regina’s armchair. “Is it about Emma? Please tell me it’s about Emma.”

“What? No. You are as bad as Kathryn.”

“Well, if Midas agrees with me…”

“I’m trying to be serious.”

“You know she sleeps in the nude,” Ruby said with a wicked grin.

“Ruby Lucas!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I’ll stop. You should have asked this serious thing before opening this fine bottle of firewhiskey.” She sat up straight and eyed it suspiciously before narrowing her eyes at Regina. “I should have known something was up. This really is a fine bottle.” 

Regina sighed. “I’ll ask another time.”

“No. Please. I’m sorry. What is it?” Ruby asked, puppy dog eyes in full effect. Regina took an innocent sip of her whiskey ignoring her as she leaned forward pouting her lip. “Regina,” she said with a little whine.

“Fine,” Regina said and Ruby grinned victoriously. “I was considering.” Regina hesitated. “I have such a large home and I’m home all summer.” She took a deep breath. “Mr. Mills is in the foster program and I was considering fostering him to adopt.”

Ruby’s face lit up. “That’s a fantastic idea! You want me to be a reference?”

“Yes.”

“I would love to! What would I have to do?”

“I’ll write you in and they will contact you for an interview.”

Ruby’s face lost some of her cheer as she looked down at her glass. “Are you sure you want me though? Werewolf rights are really on the upswing, but I’m not sure I’d do you any favors.”

“The single queer woman teacher factor probably won’t either. I want you, Ruby. They want important people from my life and you are important. If it makes you feel better, I have plenty of other more respectable people vouching for me as well.”

Ruby chuckled with slightly watery eyes. “I’m honored.” She poured them another round. “This calls for celebration.”

Regina laughed. “I haven’t been approved yet, dear. There are classes and certifications...”

“You will be,” Ruby replied confidently. “They’d be fools to reject you. 

“We both know how many fools there are in this world.”

“Indeed,” Ruby said before taking a sip. She looked up with a new smile. “I have faith. I can’t wait to see your little family. Henry’s such a good kid.”

“He is.”

They lapsed into an easy silence as they sipped their drinks imagining the future. Regina had just relaxed into her seat, finally unburdened by her request, when Ruby broke the silence, "So about that pastry you made Emma..."

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Much to the delight of her first period class pastries, cookies, and other sweet treats became a common sight on her desk. Sometimes she would share, but most of the time she hoarded the goodies for herself. They made her feel special.

When she brought the snacks up with Regina, the older woman simply smiled and told her she was just being friendly. As much as she hoped in the back of her mind that they were special for her, she appreciated the out Regina’s answer gave her. It took away the heaviness of the gesture. 

Ruby, however, brought it right back by destroying the deniability Regina had given her. "She's making you pastries?" Ruby exclaimed when she casually mentioned the extra pounds she was putting on. 

"She said it was a friendly thing."

"How come I never get pastries then?"

"Maybe she likes me more."

"I'm sure she does," Ruby said salaciously. 

Emma raised her eyebrow. "What? You think this is something more?"

"Of course, it's something more."

"I don't know Ruby. I think you are just seeing what you want to see."

"And I think you are ignoring what you don't want to."

"Maybe it's just an apology for all the shit she's put me through over the years."

"Delude yourself all you want Emma, but she's wooing you in her own nerdy baking way. She knows the way to your heart is through your stomach."

"I don't know."

"Just ask her. You guys are doing the talking thing now right?"

"We talk, but this is different."

"Maybe she wants you to ask. Look Emma, you aren't an idiot so please don't act like one."

"She already said they were friendly,” Emma said looking away. “Couldn't you talk to her for me? Be my wing woman?"

"I could, but what are we first years? Come on, Emma. Woman up."

"I just don't want to make the same mistake I did last time."

"Well, you would be if you don't talk to her. That was your mistake last time."

 

SQSQSQSQSQ 

 

The stories had come together for the most part, but they stilled needed to iron out the main part with the werewolf hunter. Ruby was set to come in and discuss so it was on the back burner as the worked out the casting set designs. They met twice a week and again after each gathering of the students.

Their new cast was much larger than the last one and had more smaller moving parts. It was more in line with a normal school play than the last one had been and more people were getting the chance to test their acting chops. Partial scripts had been distributed and they were work-shopping them as they went. 

She thought being friends would be easy, but her eyes followed lithe fingers and the warmth that flooded her belly every time they grazed hers was hard to ignore. She wanted to say something, but she was scared. 

As Regina discussed a small change to one of the Emma’s stories, she actually rested the treacherous hand upon hers and squeezed. All the feeling in her body seemed to center on her hand. Adrenaline coursed through her body with no place to go. She wondered what would happen if she were to just turn her hand and entwine their fingers.

"Are you even listening?" Regina asked.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a bit distracted,” 

“I apologize for boring you,” Regina snarked.

“I’m not bored! I’m just…” she said, looking down at Regina’s hand resting a top hers.

Regina’s eyes followed hers down. “Distracted.” She removed her hand. “Why don’t we discuss the set design quickly and then I’ll let you get on your way.”

Emma nodded absently unable to open her mouth.

 

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House lines were impossible to spot in the ranks of the Drama Club and Ruby was impressed at their cohesion. She had come to discuss werewolves and their culture with the students and their questions had impressed her. They actually cared about her answers. Whether it was because they wanted accuracy in their play or not it was nice to have an attentive audience of students to talk to about the issues with. 

She had stayed on after to work with the students writing the scenes for the Red character. The girl chosen to play her was enthusiastic and honestly had a mouth on her. She would play the rambunctious Red well. 

As Anna rambled about the motivations behind Red, Ruby found herself studying Emma and Regina. They were working closely with the students building the set. 

Regina's hand was on the small of Emma's back and seemed completely unaware of it. Emma on the other hand seemed entirely aware and kept shooting Ruby glances that seemed to shout, "Do you see this shit?" Ruby saw it. A year ago she would have said it was an impossibility. Now it felt inevitable. Years of antagonism washed away in a matter of months. 

Anna's sister had joined them at some point and Ruby smiled at the shy girl. No way that one wasn't closeted. The girl had a bad case of the wandering eye when she took off her robes to demonstrate proper wand movement of complex Transfiguration spells. 

"Elsa thinks they are in love," Anna said brightly, following Ruby and Elsa's eyes toward the other professors. Elsa flushed and buried her face in her hands. 

"Anna!"

"Well, you do. I didn't see it at first, but I'm staring to think she could be right. Man heterosexism sure is pervasive don't you agree Professor Lucas? It's just everywhere. I mean you could be gay and I'd never guess it. Are you gay? The way you dress says you aren't, but heterosexism again! Not everyone is straight. Gosh it must be so hard to be gay.” 

Elsa gave Ruby a look as her sister rambled on. Having taught the girls for years, Ruby was quite familiar with Anna's eccentricities. “I heard that Professor Mills is definitely not straight, but I also heard she went on a date with Robin Locksley. Oh it's so confusing. Do you think they are in love? Professor Swan and Professor Mills. Not Professor Mills and Mr. Locksley." 

"Anna. Boundaries," she chided. “They are your teachers. You shouldn’t be gossiping.” She looked over as Emma struggled to keep up while pretending to ignore the hand on her back. Regina spotted and gave her a wink over her shoulder. She laughed and shook her head. Poor Emma was completely unprepared for the game Regina was playing.

 

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“She’s baking me things, Neal,” she said to the computer screen.

“Isn’t that what gal pals do?” he asked grinning.

“Gal pals? Really? You are fucking with me aren’t you?”

“Did you really think you guys could do platonic?”

“But is this really her way of signaling me that she wants more?”

“I think she did that when her lips were pressed against yours.”

“Yeah, well. A lot has happened since she kissed me. We are friends now.”

“Friends. Sure. Like I said just good old gal pals. She has deep seated gal pal feelings for you. You are in deep gal pal.”

“Shut up Neal.” He just laughed at her.

“Are you going to do anything about it?” he asked.

“And ruin this again? You are out of your mind.”

“Does she still wear those tight pencil skirts?”

“Shut up, Neal.” 

“I just don’t know how you resist.”

She let out a huge sigh. She didn’t want to resist. She wanted to do something about it, but she didn't want to ruin the balance they had. Even with everyone telling her she wasn’t, how could she be sure she wasn't just misinterpreting the kindness of the woman without asking? She didn't want the little touches and smiles to stop again and she was afraid they would if she implied they were romantic.

“Let’s say I did want to take the chance,” she started after a moment.

“You do.”

“Whatever. If I got involved with Regina, this wouldn’t just be a one-night stand kind of thing. This would be serious. I mean how could it not be?”

“Scary, isn’t it?” he asked. She remembered those nights they had sat at the bar while he talked about Tamara. 

“I don’t know how you did it.”

“Sometimes I don’t either, but you know what? I never regretted it. Taking the chance.”

“I have.”

“I know, but you never know without trying again. This might be the time it all works out and you won’t know unless you take the leap.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“What do you think Swan Queen stands for?” Regina asked Ruby as they marked papers together in her office. 

Ruby looked up curiously. “What?” Regina passed over the note she had confiscated earlier in the day. The awkward swan wearing it’s oversized crown fell across the page.

Regina watched as Ruby read the note and burst into laughter. “Do you see the way they touch? UGH Viva la Swan Queen!” Ruby read with a grin. “Oh my God. Your students want you guys to get together.”

“What?” Regina asked, snatching the note back. Her eye scanned over it again. She had her suspicions of course, but to hear it out loud was another story.

“You and Emma. Swan Queen. Emma Swan and the Evil Queen. It’s rather brilliant.”

“I’ll never live that down, will I?”

“Probably not. You and your students have reclaimed it anyway. Does it still bother you?”

“Not exactly. Fear can be an effective tool.” She looked down at the note. “But it seems that’s begun to fade as well if they are gossiping about me.”

“I think it’s a good thing,” Ruby said.

“That remains to be seen,” Regina said, running the note through her fingers.

“You are trying to start something with Emma though? Right?” Ruby asked, pushing her work aside and leaning forward.

“So eager,” Regina said with a sly smile. “I admit to nothing.”

“I could help, you know?”

“I’m not a first year. You know.”

Ruby laughed. “I said something similar to Emma the other day.”

“And why may I ask?” Regina said, with an amused little smile.

“You said you didn’t want my help.”

“So, she’s being a child about me then,” she said tapping her quill against her desk.   
“Why am I not surprised?”

“Isn’t she always?” Ruby said, grinning at her. Regina hummed and looked down at her coursework. “And you find that charming.”

“Perhaps.”

“You aren’t as subtle as you think.”

“Who said I was trying to be subtle?”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

"Am I distracting you again?" Regina asked, innocently.

"What?" 

"My hand?" 

"I don’t know what you are talking about,” Emma said.

Regina laughed. "I'm sure. I should respect your space. It won't happen again,” she said removing her hand from Emma’s.

"No! It was a good distraction.” Emma said, grabbing her hand. She looked off at the students as Regina looked at her curiously. She took a deep breath. “I just don't know what it means."

"What it means?"

"Are we friends, Regina?" she asked, turning back to meet Regina’s eyes.

"Yes?"

"Do you want more?" she asked searching Regina’s face for her answer.

Just as Regina opened her mouth to respond a seventh year called for her attention. She smiled at Emma. "Yes, dear," she said, patting her on the shoulder, "but now isn't exactly the best place to talk about it." Regina winked and went to help the group of students rehearsing. 

Emma fell back against their workstation dumbfounded. She wanted to go bang her head into a few walls on the way to a stiff drink. Why in God’s name did her brain think rehearsal was the place to finally bring it up? It had slipped out and now she had an answer and no place to go with it. Regina had said yes. Holy shit.

Regina eventually called her over to help with the scene they were working on. The look Mary Margaret shot her hurried her steps and she appreciated the distraction even if it meant being closer to Regina. They were practicing Snow White’s reunion with her Prince Charming and as she sat and watched the run through she could see the problem.

“No. No. David. Mary Margaret. You shouldn’t be attacking each other with your tongues. This isn’t some kind of duel for dominance. It’s supposed to be sweet. Romantic,” Regina said, frustration bleeding into her voice.

“She’s right. I know you are hormonal teenagers, but come on,” Emma agreed, shaking her head. “This is supposed to be true love, not true lust.” Mary Margaret glared at her lackluster savior.

“We’re trying! It’s not like we can practice in front of a mirror,” Mary Margaret said. Emma and the students watching just laughed as Regina rolled her eyes and climbed onto the stage.

“Swan, with me.” Emma tilted her head like a confused puppy from her spot with the students. Regina made an impatient gesture and Emma climbed up onto the stage suspiciously and all the more nervous now that she knew Regina’s feelings.

“What do you need me for?” she asked keeping her distance.

“They need an example.”

“What?”

“An example. Something that can serve as a model to be imitated.”

“A model to be im…” Emma started, “Seriously, Regina?” She looked at the students who were watching with undisguised glee. Ever since the “shipping” incident, the students had become unbearable. This would just take the cake. “It’s highly inappropriate.” She had wanted a sign that Regina wanted more, but not in front of all her students.

“Come on, Swan. What are you? Chicken?” Regina said leaning in. Emma glared, but Regina just smirked. Emma’s eyes were drawn to the quirk in her lips. 

Emma sighed as the students began clucking at her. “Of course not,” she bit out, scolding herself for forgetting that Regina was an asshole with no mercy.

The students cheered. 

“Now, remember Regina, romantic. No biting or anything like that.” Emma leaned in and whispered in Regina’s ear, “Though I do find biting to be rather a turn on in the right circumstances. Just know I will get you back for this.”

“Is that a promise?” Regina whispered back.

“Are we going to get to see this example or what?” David’s brother James called out. Emma grimaced at the excited look on his face. Regina laughed. 

The difference in Regina was startling as they moved into place on the stage. Emma watched as she rolled her shoulders and got into character as the naïve princess. She suddenly looked seventeen and Emma could almost imagine they were kids again. Emma straightened her back, trying to pull together the bravado of their dashing prince. 

The wicked amusement dancing in Regina’s eyes as she finally cried out, “You found me!” quickly reminded Emma of whom she was really dealing with. Emma was really going to kill her.

“I told you. I will always find you,” Emma said in a confident dramatic voice. 

She gave Regina a cheesy smile before grabbing the back of her head and pulling their lips together. She could hear the students cheering, but then Regina’s fingers threaded into her hair and they were gone. The kiss was gentle and romantic and everything they had never been to each other. She wished it could go on forever.

When they pulled apart, the students were still cheering, but the noises were dim as they looked into each other's eyes in wonder. 

"That was hot!" James called from the back shattering the moment. 

Regina coughed awkwardly and took a step back before turning toward David and Mary Margaret. “And that’s how it’s done.”


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as the students were gone, Emma attacked, latching onto Regina’s hips and pulling her flush against her. She looked into Regina’s eyes. “Is this okay?” 

“God, yes,” Regina said, launching forward and pressing her lips to Emma’s. Her hands went into Emma’s tangle of curls and pulled her in close. Emma’s hands slipped into her robes, running up her waist to reach around and grip her back. She moaned into Emma’s mouth as she felt fingers dig into her back. 

“Jesus, Regina.” Emma groaned before taking Regina’s bottom lip between her teeth. Her hands couldn't keep still and she felt like a teenager as she groped Regina. With the swell of Regina's breast in her palm and her tongue in her mouth, she wondered why they had taken so long to get to this point. 

“More,” Regina demanded. 

Emma’s hands gripped the back of Regina’s thighs and hoisted her up onto a desk. She moved to push Regina’s robes aside when Regina put her hand on her chest. “Wait.” Emma stopped immediately as Regina pulled out her wand and locked the door and sound proofed the room.

Emma grinned. “Good thinking.”

“It wouldn’t do to scar our students,” she said, pushing her robe off her leaving her in a button up blue silk blouse and slacks. Emma slid between her legs and attached her lips to Regina’s neck as she began unbuttoning the blouse. Regina tilted her head back to give her better access as she clawed at Emma’s scalp. Emma had reached her ear by the time she finished with the blouse. 

Emma yanked it open and pushed it off Regina’s shoulders, exposing a black lacy bra. She leaned back just to look and Regina fell on to her hands. She pushed her chest up as Emma took her in. 

“Wow,” Emma said, running her hands up Regina's thighs. Regina leaned forward and grabbed a fistful of her shirt to pull in her for another kiss. She yanked up and Emma took the hint, breaking the kiss to pull it over her head.

Regina peppered kisses across Emma's chest as Emma unbuttoned the fancy dress pants and slid the zipper down. Regina bit down on the swell above her bra as she slid her hands into the tight confines of the pants and pressed her fingers against the damp lace. Regina's moan sent a shiver down her spine. 

She made quick circles over the cloth before sliding up and under the lace. Regina's head fell back as her fingers attempted to navigate the tight confines. "You couldn't have worn a skirt today?" Emma grumbled. 

With an indignant huff, Regina grabbed her wrist, stopping her movement and pulled her hand away. With an elegance Emma would never have managed, Regina lifted her hips and pulled her pants and panties over her ass and down her legs. She kicked them off without a care for the wood dust and dirt on the floor of their rehearsal space. She immediately pulled Emma back between her legs. "Better?" she asked, her breath puffing against Emma's face. 

"Much," Emma said with a grin. 

Her fingers immediately found Regina's clit, successfully cutting off whatever sarcastic reply Regina was planning to make. 

Her other hand found Regina's on the desk. There had been many times in the middle of an argument she had imagined just taking Regina rough and fast on a desk. 

Their fingers entwined. This was better than any daydream. 

She pushed in with a grunt and shifted her thigh behind her hand. She swirled her fingers before curling them and pulling back only to push back with her thigh for extra force. 

Regina's head fell and her back arched as Emma began to pump her fingers in and out slowly. She relished the feel of Regina around her fingers. She ran her tongue up the column of Regina's neck and latched onto her pulse point feeling the steady beat of Regina's heart. 

Regina shifted her foot under the desk and hooked her foot on the wood using it to leverage her thigh between Emma's. She hooked her other behind Emma's legs and pulled her closer. Each thrust she made she pressed against Regina's thigh and soon they found their rhythm. The desk groaned under the stress, but they paid it little concern.

Emma found herself close to the edge and they weren’t even naked. She had wanted this for so long she couldn’t help herself. She grabbed the back of Regina’s head like she had earlier in the day and pulled her in for a deep kiss. The touch of Regina’s tongue against her own set her off and she fell forward onto Regina with a heavy groan.

“Did you just come?”

Emma blushed and buried her face in Regina’s neck. “Yes.”

“Fuck.” 

Emma could feel her clenching around her fingers and resumed her thrusts pressing the palm of her hand against Regina's clit. It didn't take much before Regina spine stiffened and she joined her over the edge. 

With their passions sated for the moment, they held on to each other in an awkward embrace, sweat cooling on their skin in the damp of the castle. 

"That was..."

"Long overdue."

"Should we talk about this?" 

Regina opened one eye to look at her. "I want this Emma. Do you?"

"Yes," Emma said hesitantly. Regina shoved her off and gathered her clothes. "Wait Regina. I do."

"I believe you," she said with a sigh, pulling her pants on. "I'm on nights this week. We can talk at our next meeting. You look like you need some time to process." 

"Process?" Her shirt was on now and Emma didn't know what to say

"We just had sex in a classroom. Time to process isn't unreasonable."

"I guess."

Regina now fully clothed while Emma still hadn't even retrieved her shirt approached her carefully. She pressed a soft kiss to Emma's cheek and was gone. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

As a Hogwarts professor, rounding the castle looking for students out of bed was a routine assignment. Prefects couldn't be counted on to instill enough fear to keep the worst mischief-makers in bed. The castle remained awake even if the students didn't and it was dangerous for them to be out and wandering. 

It had been novel her first year, wandering freely through the halls after hours. During her school years, she had rarely strayed from the rules. An owl home would have been a nightmare she had no intention of enduring. As prefect, she had monitored the halls, but it had been a job she took very seriously and with a little fear. Perhaps if Daniel had still been alive when she was made prefect, she would have enjoyed it more. 

McGonagall had assigned her extra night shifts to make up for the time she was going to be spending on her classes to qualify as a foster parent. As much as she wished she could be in bed with a certain blonde professor she was glad she was busy. She hadn't intended for their performance in front of the students to lead to what happened afterward. She had just hoped to give Emma food for thought, a taste of what could be. 

 

Back when Emma antagonized her at every turn, she occasionally thought a quick fuck in a classroom would satisfy her. Now that they were on the verge of something real, she realized how shortsighted she had been. They never would have been able to stop at a quick fuck. 

In a secluded corridor near the kitchens, she discovered a Slytherin and Hufflepuff having a clandestine meeting. She almost felt bad breaking them up and docking house points, but there were rules for a reason. 

The nook that housed the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room wasn't far and she escorted them together to the pile of barrels that barred entry to all but those who knew the right knock. With a pointed cough, she turned and allowed them one final moment of privacy. 

She kept up a stern mask of disgust as she walked the girl back to the Slytherin dungeon, but even with detention and 20 docked house points she could see the hint of a smile on the girl's face as she gave the password. Her Evil Queen persona didn't seem likely to last the year at this rate. 

As she climbed the staircase back up to the dungeon corridor, she thought about Daniel. He had almost talked her into sneaking out after hours. Dating someone in a different house is difficult. You have to grasp at any chance to be together and it's not enough. She had envied the Ravenclaw couples that would snuggle together in the study nooks surrounded by books while her love was on the other side of the castle and she was alone. 

She smiled to herself as she extinguished her wand, preferring the dark of the castle to the odd shadows. She wasn't going to be alone anymore. She would have Emma. 

She hadn't dated in a very long time. Their profession didn't lead to a very standard courting process. Like the students, they were mostly confined to the castle and their very real responsibilities to the school. Not many suitors were interested in dating someone with such a strict schedule. She hadn’t been all that interested in dating anyway and once her mother died there was no pressure to.

Dating Emma solved many of those problems. They were on the same schedule and both lived in the castle. The idea of actually dating Emma struck her as strange though. They were so different. In her daydreams, she had pictured a family life with Emma and Henry, but getting to that point suddenly seemed daunting and her smile faded. 

She would figure it out. They would figure it out. She wasn't going to let this chance pass her by again just because she didn't know how to date. She just hoped Emma was on the same page and meant what she had said. She was putting all of her eggs in one basket and really hoped the bottom wouldn't give out. 

When she returned to her rooms, she took them in with fresh eyes. Her living area had seen many visitors and Emma was well acquainted with it after the long hours spent working on their plays. Now she imagined Emma spending time there under a different capacity and it was thrilling. 

She moved into her bedroom and started to undress, but hesitated and looked around trying to look at it from a stranger's eyes. She realized that she couldn't recall having a single person join her in here. 

It couldn't be called sterile, but it was overly neat and everything had its place. Her mother had exacting standards and she had never outgrown them. 

She took off her earrings and placed them in the ornate box on her dresser. Emma probably imagined she had piles of the Mills family jewels, but honestly there wasn't much she kept with her. After her mother's belongings had been divided, she had placed her share of the bounty in a dark corner of her vault at Gringotts. 

She had tried to get Zelena to take it all, but her sister refused, telling her to sell her share if she didn't want to keep it. She knew her sister hadn't kept a single earring. The money funded a production of Mommie Dearest with all proceeds going to a child abuse charity. Zelena had played Joan Crawford and Regina had to walk out before it was over. It disturbed her for days seeing her sister play her mother.

Regina wished she could do something as meaningful with her mother's possessions, but she found she couldn't part with them. Each piece held a memory that was probably best forgotten, but she couldn't let it go. For her own sanity, she eventually brought it all the Gringotts and tried to forget. Perhaps she could finally sell them now. She could fund Henry’s adoption easily and maybe she could move on.

It was oddly liberating how much Emma already knew about her childhood. There would be no awkward "Tell me about your childhood" conversations. Emma would automatically understand why her mother's things occupied her vault and not her homes. It was a strange comfort, but one she found she appreciated. 

Having Emma more firmly in her life would be a good start for having Henry in her life. She had used her job to isolate herself and the idea of dating Emma had made her realize she needed practice being around people in a less professional manner. 

As she climbed under the covers, she smiled as she thought about how much Emma would enjoy her high thread count sheets. She stretched her arms over her head and knew she would enjoy having Emma on them. She could do this.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma's knock on Regina's door was more like an awkward fist bump. Their thing in the classroom had been a couple days ago and they hadn’t really talked since. There hadn't been the chance. On the surface everything remained the same and it boggled her mind. 

She had expected her world to shift when she and Regina got together and it hadn't. Ruby and Neal would have probably told her that Regina had been right to give her space, but she didn't want space. She wanted Regina. 

Regina still left her snacks. There had been an apple on her desk that morning with a note reminding her to eat healthy. She bit her lip in anticipation of what else she might be eating tonight and shifted nervously in front of the door. 

Regina welcomed her with a glass of cider and immediately jumped into play matters. Emma played along even though she kept getting distracted. Regina's perfume filled her nostrils and she wanted to be breathing it in much closer. 

As they wrapped up the meeting much earlier than usual, Emma felt her chance of a repeat dwindling. Regina wasn't acting cold. On the contrary, she was smiling a lot and giving loaded looks, but with the way Regina was rushing through the meeting it was clear that Regina wanted this over and Emma didn't know what to make of it. Her insecurities told her exactly what she should do. Run. Regina was going to tell her she changed her mind. 

Her heart had a very different opinion. It had already put itself out there and it wanted its answer. Most of their problems originated because they weren’t talking and Emma refused to let that happen again. If she didn’t get a repeat that was fine... ish, but she couldn't let it fester. 

She couldn't go back to how they were not after coming so far. The rejection would hurt, but she was an adult now and she would have to suck it up. She just couldn't tell if she was going to be rejected or not. The Regina she knew could be cruel, but after everything she knew now she couldn't picture her breaking her heart again with a smile. 

Emma bit her lip and decided to just bite the bullet. “So…” she began, noticing Regina eyeing her with an amused smirk. “Are you going to just pretend it never happened and rush through our meetings from now on? Are we not going to talk about it at least?"

“I rushed through our meeting for a much better reason than that,” Regina said, standing and brushing invisible lint from her skirt. Emma eyes followed her hands with rapt attention as they ran over her smooth thighs. Regina stalked over, hiked up her skirt and settled into her lap. 

“I thought we could use the time to talk things over, but I've had a change of heart and think we could use it more wisely doing something else,” she said, brushing Emma’s hair over her shoulder. "You've had time to think about what happened. Do you regret it?" Emma shook her head, stunned by the woman in her lap. 

"Do you want this?" Regina asked tracing Emma tight jaw with her fingers. 

Emma swallowed and nodded. The night had definitely taken the turn she had hoped for. Her insecurities could go to hell. 

"Still want to talk? Because you seem to be at a loss for words."

Emma's eyes narrowed and wrapped her arms around Regina, pulling her in so their faces were inches apart. "You are such an asshole."

Regina grinned. "I'll take that as a no." She pressed her lips to Emma's. "Because I've been thinking about having you on this couch all night." She nuzzled into Emma’s neck before she took Emma's ear lobe between her teeth and pulled. “I think I've waited long enough."

Regina pulled Emma's sweater over her head. Regina pecked her lips before reaching around and unhooking her bra. Regina seemed intent on getting her as naked as possible as fast as possible and Emma couldn't argue with that. There would be plenty of time to talk and be adults later. 

Regina pushed her back against the couch and her head hit the top of the couch as Regina rolled her nipple between her fingers before taking it in her mouth. Her other hand found the neglected nipple and Emma’s hands clenched at Regina’s back desperately. 

She reached for the buttons of Regina’s blouse, but Regina slapped her hands away and situated them on her thighs. Emma immediately took advantage and ran her hands up before taking a firm grasp of Regina's ass and rocking her against her. Regina leaned back and slowly unbuttoned her blouse.

Once she shrugged off her blouse, Regina climbed off Emma and pulled down her own pants and threw them onto the armchair. She sunk to her knees in front of Emma and unzipped her tight jeans, pulling them down her legs. She trailed kisses back up her leg and as she reached the cotton she took it between her teeth and pulled. 

“It’s my turn now." 

Emma lifted up eagerly and Regina slid the boy shorts down and off. She tossed them aside and pulled Emma's legs apart. Maintaining her tight grip on Emma's thighs, she dragged her plump lips up the sensitive skin. Emma groaned and wove her fingers into Regina’s thick brown hair. 

Her hands trembled slightly and she took a deep breath. This time felt more real. They weren't just screwing in an empty classroom. The world had shifted. She just hadn't noticed. 

She looked down and their eyes met. Regina's pupils were blown and she had that look on her face that always meant trouble. The predatory look in Regina's eyes softened at the look on Emma’s face and her grip on Emma loosened. 

"Is this okay?" 

Emma smiled. They were getting better at this. 

"Yes. Just." She urged Regina up. "I want to kiss you again first." 

Regina climbed back into her lap and Emma cupped her face, studying the curve of her eyebrows, the fine lines near her eyes and the smudge lipstick around her lips. Regina leaned in and she met her in a soft kiss. She let out a content sigh and Regina pulled back. "Are you really okay?" 

Emma kissed her again, putting as much feeling into it as she could. "You are in fancy lace underwear in my lap. How could I be better?" Regina gave her a devilish look. 

"Well..."

Afterwards, Emma snuggled into Regina’s fine sheets in bliss. She had rolled onto her stomach and didn’t think she could move. She wondered if Regina would just charm her to float back to her rooms.

“So are we telling people about this?” she mumbled into the bed. 

“Is that what you want?” Regina asked. 

“Well, everyone has been waiting for it.”

Regina laughed and shuffled closer under the sheets. “Even the students.”

Emma groaned. “They are so annoying." She turned her head toward Regina. "I want to tell people. I want to tell everyone.”

Regina smiled. "We should probably tell Ruby soon before she decides to forgo her Wolfsbane and eat one of us.”

"I could take a werewolf."

Regina just laughed and Emma leaned forward and kissed her. Regina smiled into the kiss and Emma's heart sped up. When they broke apart, Regina rolled Emma and wrapped her in her arms, pressing soft kisses to her neck. "Did you know we have a ship name?”

“You know what a ship is?”

“I'm not that out of touch with my students' interests." Emma snorted. "Fine. Ruby explained it to me.” 

“Uh huh. That's what I thought. What is it?”

“Swan Queen.”

“Fitting,” Emma said smiling. “You are a queen and it dropped the evil bit."

Regina chuckled into her neck. 

"Can I stay the night?” Emma asked quietly. 

“I would have kept you on the couch if I planned to kick you out.”

“Fair enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait.


	18. Chapter 18

Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop had a surprisingly decent brunch special. The crowd of lovesick teenagers it boasted on Hogsmeade weekends was nowhere to be seen as Zelena walked into the unfortunately decorated cafe. 

A waitress was leading her to a table when Kathryn arrived with a tall willowy woman in tow. Zelena waved them over eying the unfamiliar brunette in appreciation.

“Zelena, dear,” Kathryn greeted with a cheek kiss. “This is Ruby Lucas. She teaches Transfiguration.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally put a face to a name,” she said, taking Ruby’s hand. “A real pleasure,” she purred, holding on to the hand a second too long. 

Ruby blushed a deep red and stuttered a greeting.

“Be gentle, Z," Kathryn said, leaning in, "She’s a fan." 

“Oh?” Zelena hummed.

“Kathryn! You promised!” Ruby exclaimed smacking her arm.

“No worries, dear. I love my fans. Especially when they are as cute as you.” Ruby’s blush deepened as they took their seats and Zelena’s grin widened.

“Ruby, here, is our Emma Swan insider,” Kathryn mentioned as they browsed the small menu.

“I’m really looking forward to finally meeting the infamous Miss Swan.”

“She hates being called that,” Ruby said.

Zelena laughed. “I’m definitely calling her that then.”

“So, give the dirt. Regina’s been avoiding any mention of her since the Fountain fiasco.”

“Regina won’t say much about the whole thing to me. I was hoping Emma had been more forthcoming,”

“She still licking her wounds,” Ruby said with a shrug. “I don’t think either of them know how to go from here or even what they want.”

“Ugh,” Zelena said, throwing up her hands.

“They are dancing around each other scared.”

“My sister is an idiot.”

“Hey. She put herself out there and got shot down. She’s allowed to be afraid," Kathryn said.

“But they made up,” Zelena whined.

“Yeah, but would you put yourself out there again? It’s going to be up to Emma to woman up,” Kathryn said and together they looked toward Ruby.

She held her hands up. “What?”

“Well? You’re our Emma Swan expert. Will she?”

“I don’t know. Regina has always been a touchy subject with her. She was pretty freaked about the pastries and I tried nudging her in the right direction.”

“Maybe they need more than a nudge.” 

“They would kill us. They’d probably kill us if they knew we were meeting up like this.”

“Probably.”

“Look, I don’t know. Emma’s a runner. I don’t know what she’ll do. They are still working together for the play so she can only run so far.”

“Hopefully right into my sister’s bed,” Zelena said.

“Well, they meet every week in Regina’s room. It’s possible she’s already been there,” Kathryn said.

“We would know.” Ruby looked between them. “Wouldn’t we?”

“I can’t believe they haven’t at least had hate-sex yet,” Zelena grumbled.

“They got close at least once,” Ruby said, leaning in.

“Really?”

“They were fighting at some bar and got kicked out. I went to check on them and Emma had Regina pinned against a wall in the alley behind the bar. I swear Emma was just leaning in when I interrupted.”

"I kind of hate you right now."

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma felt Zelena’s eyes on her as she dramatically described her adventures in the theatre world. Regina must have talked about her over the years and with the way Zelena was looking at her, it couldn't have included many good things.

She leaned towards Regina. “I don’t think your sister likes me.”

“I may have mentioned you over the years.” Regina smiled. “She may have been the one that patched me up after that split lip."

“Oh God,” Emma groaned. “She's going to murder me down in the dungeons. Isn't she?”

"Murder is beneath the Mills women," Regina whispered back with a smirk. "We prefer to destroy a person and then maybe hire someone to dispose of what’s left of them." 

“Be wary of strangers. Got it.” Emma reached for her hand in faux terror.

“Don’t worry, dear. I’ll protect you from the scary Wicked Witch." Emma looked up at her through her eyelashes and Regina swallowed.

“My savior,” Emma whispered back and Regina felt her face flush. She licked her lips and watched Emma’s eyes drift down. Regina squeezed her hand and their eyes met. She wondered if it was too late to cancel her dinner plans with Zelena.

A cough at the front drew their attention back to Zelena. Emma blushed at the pointed look sent their way and pulled her hand away, but Regina simply raised an eyebrow as if to say why are you interrupting?

Zelena winked and returned to her Q&A. Regina leaned forward and got Will Scarlett’s attention. She whispered in his ear and his eyes widened before he grinned back mischievously.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“I can’t believe that boy asked me that!” Zelena said as they settled into their table. “The nerve of kids these days. I don’t know how you stand them with their grubby little fingers and smart mouths.” Regina smirked as she tucked her napkin in her lap. Zelena’s eyes narrowed. “You!”

“What?”

“I understand the Evil Queen nickname more and more,” Zelena said taking a sip of her water with a glare.

“I’ve decided to adopt one of those unruly sticky children,” she said.

Zelena started coughing with a glare. “You couldn’t have waited for the wine for that one?”

“I know how you hate to waste wine, dear,” Regina said with a pleased smile.

Zelena wiped her mouth. “Well, that’s true at least,” Zelena said, signaling for the waiter that had hesitated when Zelena had started choking. Regina shook her head when Zelena ordered a full bottle for the table.

The waiter seemed to understand that the wine order was a rush and he was back in a flash with the bottle. He poured them both a glass. Zelena waved her hand for more and he grimaced as he topped the glass off. He looked like he wanted to flee, but he politely asked if they were ready to order. Zelena downed her glass and he refilled it awkwardly.

“Come back once I’ve finished this glass. We’ll be ready then. I promise,” she said with an exaggerated wink. Regina gave him an apologetic smile before he fled.

Zelena took a large gulp. “So, you want to adopt a student.”

Regina raised her glass to her lips. “Yes.” She took a tentative sip enjoying her sister’s shock. “I’ve been thinking about it since I met the boy.”

“A boy?”

“His name is Henry. Appropriately enough Henry Mills. He’s a first year.”

“A Mills man already. How appropriate. House?”

“Gryffindor.”

“You always had a soft spot for the lion-hearted.” Regina chuckled. Emma, Daniel and now Henry. Zelena had a point. “Are you sure about this?” Zelena asked cradling her glass.

“Yes. More sure than I’ve been about anything in a long time.”

“Are you scared?”

“Terrified. What do I know about raising a boy?” Regina said with a wry smile.

“It’s not like we had the best examples growing up,” Zelena said, matching her smile and tossing back the rest of her drink.

“Daddy wasn’t so bad.”

“When he was there.”

The waiter appeared and took their order.

“So I’m going to have a nephew. Was he one of those monsters? Please tell me he wasn’t the boy that asked me if I poisoned small children. He looked too old to be a first year.”

Regina laughed again. “No. Definitely not. Will Scarlet would be more trouble than I could handle. He was the one that asked you about your method.”

“Oh, I liked that one. He was sweet. Adorable, even. You know I’m going to spoil him rotten.”

“He deserves to be spoiled,” Regina said with a soft look.

“Well, we all know you are going to be a strict disciplinarian,” Zelena said. She snorted. “Who am I kidding? You are going to roll over whenever that kid asks for anything.” Regina glared. “It’s going to be adorable. I can’t wait.”

“It’s not certain yet.”

“When will you know?”

“I’ve just started the process.”

“Do you need any help?”

“Kathryn set me up with some of her lawyer friends. They are hopeful.”

“So now we just need to get your love life in order.”

“Zelena.”

“She was holding your hand! Don’t think I didn’t see that.”

"We've..." Regina began, but paused as a server appeared with their meals. Zelena shot daggers at the poor wait staff for interrupting. He scurried away without asking if they needed anything else.

"Go on."

Regina took a large bite of her food and chewed pointedly.

"We've decided to see past our differences," she said after she swallowed.

"What does that mean? I thought you were already doing that."

"To an extent."

"For the love of God, stop being so vague."  
"Fine. She fucked me on a desk in the rehearsal room.” Zelena stared at her blankly for a moment with her mouth slightly open. "Nothing to say, dear?"  
"I'm just waiting for more details."

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma finished her edits and checked the time. It was still early enough to bother Regina, but late enough that she should be back to the castle. Regina had run off to dinner with her sister after rehearsal and Emma found herself missing the other woman. She leaned back in her chair and debated the merits of showing up at her door. She didn’t want to seem clingy. She looked down at the edits and sighed.

She found Regina just entering her rooms. She leaned awkwardly against her doorframe and Emma could tell they had enjoyed the wine at dinner. Her grin was a little too wide and her eyes promised mischief as she dragged Emma into her rooms.

"Couldn't stay away?" Regina asked nuzzling her neck.

"When have I ever been able to stay away from you?" she asked.

Regina pulled back. "The whole time we were students."

"Oh, shut up. You're happy I'm here."

"I am happy," Regina said, touching Emma's cheek gently.   
“Me too.” Only a few lamps lit the room and Regina’s smile was soft and perfect and it was much too soon for I love yous. Though soon was perhaps relative. 

“Your bed is so much better than mine. How could I stay away?” Regina slapped her arm and pulled her toward her bedroom.

"And I'm the evil one," Regina said, pushing her onto the bed and straddling her waist. Emma laughed up at her lover.

It still felt surreal to finally be able to touch the other woman after so many years and so much anger. She ran her hands up Regina's thighs reverently. She had imagined it and wondered what it would be like, but never thought it possible. A life with Regina Mills.

Her eyes met Regina's and she knew she was saying her I love you just as clearly as if she had opened her mouth. It should have been terrifying with their history, but Regina's eyes were saying just as much as her own.

Regina traced her jawline with the tip of her fingers and her mouth opened slightly. They both knew they were putting off discussing what this all meant and Regina looked like she might be ready to break the silence. 

Regina sat astride her simply breathing looking at her like she loved her. It felt so good and right, but she wasn’t ready for it to change just yet. She placed a finger on Regina’s plump lips and Regina seemed to understand. She took the finger between her teeth and bit it playfully, giving it a flick with the tip of her tongue.

The sudden fear fled and arousal gleefully took its place. Emma grabbed Regina’s hips and rocked her against her stomach. It was always going to be the two of them and it always would. It had to be. How could she ever feel like this for anyone else?

She pulled Regina down into a hug and still they didn’t say anything. Emma slid the zipper down Regina’s dress and Regina sat up to pull it over her head as Emma pulled off her shirt and undid her pants. 

Emma’s heart pounded in her chest as she flipped Regina onto her back. She pulled her pants off and tossed them to the floor. Black lace hit her in the face and she looked up to see Regina unhooking her bra before letting it disappear over the side of the bed. Emma hurried to remove her own bra and underwear before climbing on top of Regina and sinking into a deep kiss. She moaned into Regina’s mouth as their bare skin met and her thigh met Regina’s wetness.

Their kisses grew sloppy as Emma slid a hand between them and rolled a hard nipple between her fingers. Regina broke the kiss with a gasp and Emma moved down to take the nipple in between her teeth and moved her hand further down. She circled Regina’s clit as her tongue flicked the hardened nub. 

Regina pulled her back up and Emma bit into her neck as she pushed in with one finger. Regina’s fingers dug into her skin as she grasped her back and thrust her hips up to meet Emma’s finger. She swirled her finger as Regina writhed beneath her. The heady moans spurring her on.

She sucked on Regina’s neck as she added another finger and began pumping. Regina’s moans filled her ears and her head was filled with how much she loved the woman. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma found Regina grading potions in her classroom after dinner the next night. She was leaning over a potion and Emma snuck up behind her, wrapping her arms around her.

Regina stiffened in her embrace and she heard a smug throat clearing behind her. She whipped around to find Ruby sitting with her legs up on a desk.

"About damn time," Ruby said swinging her legs off the desk.

"We were going to tell you," Emma muttered.

"Uh huh, I'm sure. How long has this been going on?"

"Like a week.”

“I’m surprised Zelena didn’t tell you.”

“That witch held out on me?” Ruby cried. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

After much cajoling on Ruby’s part she left them to, in her words, “Get busy.” Emma decided to join Regina on her rounds and they walked in companionable silence for a while. 

"So we are actually telling people," Emma finally said.

"Well, that is what we decided."

"Yeah, but it's actually happening. It makes it feel real."

Regina laced their fingers together. "It is real."

“Good.”

She extinguished her wand and pushed Emma against the wall. “Very real.”

"How do you go about telling an entire school your very real relationship status without Facebook?" Emma asked wrapping her arms around Regina.

"Tell Leroy," Regina said, running her hands through Emma's hair tousling it. "Man can't keep his mouth shut to save his life," she said as she began kissing up Emma's neck.

"Lumos!" a voice shouted and light flared in their faces. They pulled apart in shock and horror as Mary Margaret stared at them in disbelief.

"Well, now you won't have to worry about telling people. It'll be out by breakfast," Regina mumbled.

"We are really bad at this," Emma said without taking her eyes off Mary Margaret.

“I… I’m sorry!” Mary Margaret stuttered out. The shock drained from Regina and she felt the angry rise. Of course it would be Blanchard yet again putting her in an awkward situation.

“What the hell were you thinking Miss Blanchard?” Regina bit out, channeling every ounce of the Evil Queen she could as she moved toward the terrified girl. "Are you out of your mind?"

Emma grabbed her arm. “Regina,” she said with a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay.” When she felt Regina stand down, Emma turned and gave the frightened girl a weak smile. “You are a prefect. You can't just jump out of the dark at people like that.”

“I just wanted the element of surprise.”

“Do you even realize Regina and I have grounds to have you removed as a prefect for this if we wished?” Emma asked. “Do you know how dangerous it is to patrol without your wand at the ready?”

“I thought you were students! I had my wand ready!”

“And that’s better?” Emma asked rubbing her forehead. “Is this how you always patrol the halls? Creeping around in the dark and jumping out at the students out of bed?”

“No!” Mary Margaret hung her head in shame.

Regina sighed. “Please just explain yourself Miss Blanchard so we can get on with our lives.”

“Last week two students got the jump on me and I’ve been trying to catch them,” she said, the flush on her face visible even in the dim light.

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“I was embarrassed. What kind of prefect gets caught with a sneak charm by two students making out?”

“Are you sure that’s what they were doing?”

“I’m fairly sure that’s what you were doing just now and I didn’t have my wand lit.”

Regina’s jaw clenched. “10 points from Slytherin for the disrespectful tone.”

“Not helpful, Mary Margaret. Not helpful,” Emma said pinching the bridge of her nose. “I think we are all a little embarrassed right now. Tomorrow after dinner report to my classroom. We will go over the proper responsibilities of a prefect.”

“But I…”

“Would you rather I go to Professor Midas and tell her what you just told us? She would surely revoke your privileges.”

“No.”

“Would you rather Professor Mills handled your punishment?”

Regina smirked evilly. She wondered if it was that Slytherin/Hufflepuff couple she had caught using nearly the same technique.

“No.” The girl gulped. “Well, maybe. I can’t imagine any student would do that to her. I woke up the next morning shoved in a broom closet! I'm a prefect!"

Emma sighed. “Did you ever think it might not have been a student? You could have put the whole school in danger.”

“It was a student.”

“You know who it was.”

She looked away. 

Emma shook her head. “We’ll talk tomorrow. Go to your common room. It’s late."

The girl nodded weakly and turned toward Regina. "Professor Mills, I promise I won't say anything about what I saw tonight. I won't break your trust again. I'd rather die."

Regina frowned, but her posture eased. "I'll hold you to that promise, Miss Blanchard. If I hear any rumors at all about what you saw between Professor Swan and I tonight, I will hold you personally responsible. Trust me you will wish for the easy punishment you are being offering now.”

The girl nodded and turned to go. "Miss Blanchard." The girl looked back with wide eyes. "You are not alone so don't act like it. If you need help my door is open."

"Thank you," she said and then she was gone.

“That was nice of you.”

“I am still her teacher.”

In the light of the wand, Emma could see the stress of the moment weighing on Regina. She took her arm and led her toward her rooms. They had already rounded the castle twice. She was fairly sure that was where they had been headed before Regina had decided on their quick stop. When they arrived, Regina blocked her entry. 

"I think you should spend the night in your rooms."

"I thought you were okay with people knowing." 

"I am."

"Then what is this?"

"This is me wanting my own space for the night."

"Seriously?"

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I keeping you from my large thread count, Miss Swan?” Regina asked crossing her arms.

“Miss Swan? Really?” 

“Is there a problem?”

“Of course there’s a problem. It’s you. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this?”

“I”m not doing this out in the hallway.”

“It’s your fault we’re out even here.” Emma looked at Regina and deflated. “What are we even fighting about?”

“I don’t know,” Regina said, falling against the door.

“Old habits.”

“Apparently.”

“Are you okay?” Emma asked, stepping closer.

“I’m fine.”

"For some reason I don't believe you. Are you mad at me because we got caught or that it was Mary Margaret who did the catching?"

"I'm not mad at you."

“Wanna tell me what this is all about then?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"She'd rather die than betray your trust? Bit dramatic."

"It’s Mary Margaret Blanchard. Don’t tell me you’re surprised.” Regina closed her eyes.

"Look, if you really want me to go I will. Just don't push me away."

Regina sighed before turning and opened her door. “I don’t want you to go.” She turned back and gave Emma a weak smile. She offered her hand and Emma took it, following Regina into her rooms.

“Surely you heard what happened.”

“I can’t imagine it has to do with you thinking she’s prettier than you.”

Regina snorted and shook her head. “Who are you going to for your gossip? The students?”


	19. Chapter 19

Losing twenty house points was never a smart move especially not for a first year. Your house turned on you quick. Harry Potter and his little posse could attest to that. He had had a falling out with the student body nearly every year he attended. Regina Mills on the other hand prided herself on the fact she had lost a grand total of twenty points her entire Hogwarts career. It was more than she liked, but she couldn’t help the fact that she had a sassy mouth and occasionally stupid professors. 

Regina sighed as Henry got snubbed yet again during a group potion making assignment. She tried to always keep her personal feelings out of the classroom, but she was probably harsher on Margary Tiddle’s ladle handling than she usually would have been. The poor boy wouldn’t even meet her eye. 

He definitely earned the punishment with his afternoon excursion into the Forbidden Forest and she was rather disappointed he had broken the rules in such a dangerous way. He and Harry Potter’s nephew had been promptly caught by Professor Longbottom who was searching out some plants that he intended to grow. They had told him they just wanted to see what a real enchanted forest looked like to help with the play. She hated that he had put himself in harm’s way simply to make the play better. 

At the end of the lesson, she signaled for him to stay. Some of the class snickered as he blushed and approached her desk. When the class emptied, she looked up at him from her paperwork. 

“Mr. Mills.”

“Please don’t kick me out of the play,” he pleaded.

“You aren’t in trouble with me, though I do question your judgment. You've already received your punishment. You do not need another lecture from me." 

“Thanks. I never thought Professor Longbottom could be so scary.” He gave her a weak smile before looking down. 

“Are they giving you a lot trouble?” 

He shook his head emphatically. "No. Some of the first years think I made us look bad, but it's okay."

“Is there something else bothering you then?” she asked, eying him with concern.

“No. I’m fine,” he said, shaking his head.

“You don’t seem fine.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” he said looking down at his feet.

“Try me,” Regina said, trying to catch his eye, but he didn’t look up. She took her bottom lip between her teeth. She wasn’t his mother yet. He was still her student. 

She took a deep breath when he didn’t say anything. “Help me understand?” she asked.

Her tentative tone made him look up and she met his eyes. She searched his for answers, but he just shook his head again. “I’m sorry, Professor Mills. I’m really fine.” Her face immediately closed off and he wondered if he had made a mistake in not even trying. 

“If you say so, Mr. Mills.” He pursed his lips and hesitated. “You are excused.” She didn’t look up again. As he got to the door, he heard her say, “If I won’t understand, than maybe Professor Swan will. It helps to talk.”

“Thanks, Professor Mills.”

She glanced at the door as snicked closed behind him. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

As a first year, Muggle Studies wasn’t even an option for Henry, yet. He would probably pass on it all together as most Muggleborns did. Most would be returning to their families during breaks and continuing to learn about it so it made sense for them to skip her courses, but Henry wouldn’t be returning to the Muggle world. He would go through the rounds of Magical foster families now. She doubted he would be overly enthusiastic about learning about the “boring” Muggle world now that he had escaped it. He seemed to love the fantastic.

He looked out of place and small in her classroom in his oversized robes. She rarely saw anyone younger than twelve in her classroom and it was jarring how small he looked. He was what nine? He seemed amused by all the Muggle artifacts around her room and he picked up a sneaker and turned it over in his hand.

“You really teach them about heelies?”

She smiled. “Of course. Can't have anyone mistaking a Muggle child for a witch or wizard just because he’s gliding down the sidewalk.”

“Fair enough.”

She took him through a little tour of her classroom. Showing him the more interesting things she had hidden away for lessons. For a Muggleborn, he was less than interested in her computer. She figured he hadn’t had much exposure to them in his foster homes. 

He seemed like a boy that would love getting lost in video games and the Internet. If she got him hooked maybe she could convince him to take her class. She was always on the lookout for new Muggle Studies students. Just because the Board of Governors recognized it as a valuable class, didn’t mean the students did. She needed to fill her class somehow. 

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” she asked, leaning against her desk. “Isn’t your little hideaway in the dungeons with Professor Mills?”

“I’m not here to do work,” he said.

“So what’s up?” she asked as he flipped through one of her stray textbooks. When he didn’t answer, she pushed off the desk and put her hand on his shoulder. “Is this about your little excursion into the forest?”

“Kinda,” he said, head still down looking at the textbook. 

“Are you upset about getting in trouble? Everyone loses house points at some point. Hermione Granger lost Gryffindor fifty points her first year.”

“Who?” he asked, looking up briefly. 

“Hermione Granger? Really kid?” He shrugged and she sighed. “Brightest witch of our age. Hero of the Battle of Hogwarts etc.? Nothing ringing a bell?” 

He shrugged again. “She sounds pretty great.”

“And I thought you liked heroes,” she said, shaking her head. “Anyway. The greatest witch of our age managed to lose more points than you so it’ll all be okay, eventually.”

“Did you ever lose house points?”

Emma laughed. “Of course, I did, kid. I wasn’t always this sterling example of maturity.” She didn’t even get a smile. “Okay seriously. What’s wrong?” Emma asked, trying to catch his eye.

“Nothing really. It's just that no one really cares if I get in trouble," he mumbled. "The other students only care about how it affects them and I just… Professor Longbottom said I could have been really hurt and I realized no one would even care.”

“I would care. Professor Mills would care. Professor Longbottom would care.”

“You’re teachers. You are paid to care. Dudley got an angry letter from his parents and I don’t know.”

“At least you have teachers that care,” Emma said softly. “We are better than nothing, you know.”

“I guess.” He shut the textbook he’d been leafing through with a heavy thud. “I shouldn’t be here.” Her brow furrowed in confusion as he looked up at her with tears glistening in his eyes. 

“Of course you should, kid. What do you mean?”

“How will I ever find a real family if I’m here?” 

Her lips pursed in understanding. “I found one,” she said, looking him in the eye.

He wiped at his eyes. “Yeah?”

“My friends became my family. Look I know that sounds trite, but Professor Lucas is better than any sister,” she said. “I may have never found parents, but I found everything I needed in my friends.” 

Henry gave her a tired, sad smile, before looking away again. “Sometimes I feel like I found a mother,” he whispered and her stomach dropped. He looked up at her so hopeful it broke her heart. “Do you think Professor Mills would be my mother?”

“Oh, Henry,” she said, closing her eyes for a moment. She swallowed the lump in her throat and met his eyes with the weariness of an orphan that never found parents. “No. I don’t think she will.”

The tears that had been threatening to fall now spilled down his cheeks. "But..."

“She’s your teacher, Henry,” she said, touching his arm lightly. “I know you want more, but you are her student. That’s all. I’m sure she cares about you a great deal, but as your teacher. That’s all.” 

He nodded sadly and she wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms, but clearly the blurred lines in his relationships hadn’t done him any good. “I’m so sorry, but you deserve the truth. I don’t want you to get your hopes up,” she said, knowing that it was much too late for that, but she knew giving someone unrealistic hope was far worse. What orphan didn’t dream that person that showed them the greatest kindness would take them in and be the parents they never had? She remembered her own little fantasies about Neville sadly. 

“Thank you, Professor Swan,” he mumbled.

“Don’t thank me, kid. The world sucks,” she said, looking around her classroom absently. She wished silently that she had something better to tell him. 

“It’s not that bad,” he said wiping his nose with his sleeve. 

“Whatever you say, kid. You’ve got the heart of a believer.” She pat his shoulder and handed him a tissue. “You’ll find a family just like I did and it’ll all work out in the end.”

“I just want it to happen now.”

“It is happening right now. If you let it.”

He looked at her. “Not the way I want it to.”

“Life is annoying like that, but it's better than nothing.”

“I guess.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

“I’m worried about Henry.”

Emma pushed up and looked down at Regina, sweaty hair stuck to where her face had been pressed against Regina’s chest. She brushed it away with a quick flick of her hand. “Are you really bringing up a student while we are having sex?”

“We had stopped for the moment,” Regina said with a pout.

Emma groaned. “Not the point, Regina. We are naked. I don’t want to think about the students when I’m naked.” She sighed and flopped on to her back next to Regina. 

“He came to talk to me.”

“I had a feeling he might,” Regina murmured. 

Emma leaned up on her elbow. “You’re really attached to him, aren’t you?” She wondered if Regina had any idea how her affection was affecting the kid.

“He reminds me of someone I used to know.”

“So all little orphans are the same, huh?” Emma said, nudging her playfully. Regina rolled her eyes and pulled herself astride Emma. 

“Clearly, I do not think that.”

“Uh huh. I can see that,” she said as Regina started kissing her neck. She wondered if she should tell Regina about what Henry had said. The issue was resolved as far as she was concerned. She didn’t want to needlessly complicate things between Regina and Henry. Henry pulling away on his own would be better. He didn’t need Regina actively proving she was just his teacher.

Emma ran her hand through dark hair. Just a few short months ago, she would have rubbed Regina’s failure in her face. Hell. She had. “You’re not his mother, you know,” echoed in her head.

But they were different now and she still remembered her own embarrassment when Professor Longbottom had discovered her daydreams. She had scrawled Emma Longbottom in the margins of some her notes during a flight of fancy, imagining the brave Professor taking her home for the upcoming holidays. The other students thought it was a crush and teased her mercilessly. She let them, but Neville had known immediately the real motivation behind the name. 

He had been kind, but it didn’t hurt any less and just made her wish even more for a father like him. He didn’t treat her any different than before, but she hated that he knew. She hated knowing that he had rejected her. She had never even wanted him to have a chance in the first place and she didn’t want to give Regina a chance to do the same to Henry. 

“I have an idea.”

Regina hummed into her neck. “I’ve got a few ideas of my own.”

“A Henry idea,” Emma said.

“Now who’s killing the mood.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

A couple days later, a red letter dropped in front of Henry. He’d never gotten mail before and he eyed it with curiosity. The girl next to him spotted the letter and recoiled. “Henry’s got a Howler!” 

The girl scrambled to gather her things. “You have to open it or it’ll explode!” she hissed. 

“Someone sent me a bomb?” he asked as steam started to seep from the seams of the envelope. 

“A very angry someone. Open it.”

“I don’t want to!” Henry shouted as students crowded around to watch.

“It’ll be worse if you don’t.” Henry looked terrified as he pulled back the seal. Regina and Emma watched from the teachers’ table in amusement. Regina’s hand found Emma’s and gripped it tightly.

Once the letter was removed from the envelope, the sound of the Drama Club members expressing their firm disapproval filled the room. Henry looked around in amazement and Emma winked at him. “People care about you,” she mouthed at him. 

He grinned as the Drama Club swamped him in hugs, tousling his hair. Regina looked at Emma and they both grinned. Ruby came up behind them and ducked her head between them. “Nice job, guys.” She looked down at their forgotten hand holding and raised an eyebrow. They smiled back at her. 

Regina pressed a kiss to Emma’s cheek as she got up. “Thank you, dear. You did good.” 

Emma flushed to her roots. “We did good.” Regina smirked as she headed out of the Hall. She looked back and saw Emma’s hand on her cheek. Her smile dropped when she spotted Miss Blanchard grinning up at her. 

She hesitated at the door to the Hall and watched Henry. He seemed so happy surrounded by his fellow students. It didn’t escape her that he was happy because of her and Emma. She wondered if this was what their future could be like; the two of them working together to make Henry happy. It felt almost in her grasps. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

At rehearsal, the students kept Henry entertained. They didn’t tell the students why they were sending Henry the Howler, but they weren't stupid. They made their own guesses and now were going out of their way to make him feel extra loved. Mary Margaret seemed especially attached to the boy. Regina figured it was because she had also grown up without a mother. 

He was still avoiding her eye. He had been avoiding her since that moment in her classroom skipping their nightly study sessions. She had hoped to see a change after the Howler, but it seemed worse than before. Usually he asked her opinion about nearly everything he was working on, but now he was turning his questions to the older students and occasionally Emma. He looked happier than he had in days, but she didn’t know what to make of his continued coldness.

Emma had told her that it was his lack of family driving his depression. She knew it was unfair, but she couldn't help being a little hurt by that. He didn’t even know what she was trying to do, but she still thought he was starting to see her as someone he could trust. She wished the adoption was further along and she could tell him everything while holding him close. She couldn’t and it killed her. She could still be rejected and giving him false hope would be cruel. The adoption process was slow, but it was moving forward. She had been attending classes that would help her get approved, but nothing was ever certain in life and Henry had already suffered enough. She had already done all she could and Henry was happy. That’s what mattered. It just felt inadequate. She felt inadequate. 

When Emma had talked about Henry, she hadn’t pried. The part of her that ached to be his mother was desperate to know, but as his teacher she knew he had gone to Emma for a reason. Her experience with parents was on the opposite side of the spectrum from Henry and Emma so she was almost relieved he went to Emma even if it hurt. Her mother had been overzealous in her mothering, but it was never with the warmth of maternal concern. She understood what it felt like to feel alone though with no one to really care about her.

It made her wonder though, in the dark part of her brain, if she had been part of the problem in some way. Her insecurities about her parenting skills were persistent. She comforted herself in knowing that Henry was first and foremost their student and if she was doing something wrong, Emma would have told her. She never had a problem in the past pointing out her flaws and she couldn’t imagine it was any different now even with their changed relationship status.

She had almost told Emma about the adoption, but she didn’t want to make the situation with Henry about her. Adoption had always been a touchy subject with Emma when they were young. She wasn’t sure if she would get admiration or resentment from Emma. She didn't want either. 

On the other side of the room, Emma watched her as discreetly as she could which really just meant outright staring on occasion, earning her some pointed looks from the older students. Regina had a lost look on her face and she knew it was because of Henry. 

She gave her students a break and ambled over to Regina, touching her arm lightly. Regina smiled weakly up at her. 

“He looks happier.”

“He does.” 

Henry glanced their way and Emma hated to see the weak little smile he sent them. It was too much like Regina’s. 

“That’s the first time he’s looked at me all day,” Regina said sadly, “You would tell me if I did something to hurt him?”

“Of course,” she lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holiday prep is killing me. I'm sorry if this isn't the best. Retail sucks.


	20. Chapter 20

Emma stared down at the script she was editing. “You’re only suave, Prince Charming because someone is telling you what to say and do,” she grumbled. She really needed to finish this tonight once and for all. The kids needed their lines to learn and she was cutting it close. 

Henry had become her partner in tying the story together. It had been decided that he would be their bard, journeying across their fairytale land recording their stories in his magical book and telling others just to watch the word of mouth race ahead of him and change the story into the more familiar ones the students all knew. They thought it was a fun play on how distorting gossip could be. Since he was helping write it, he already knew most of his lines. 

Ever since their talk, Henry had been spending more time with her and the other students. Occasionally, she would catch his eyes wandering over to Regina sadly when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. The house points he lost had been forgotten and now that he was around more, he was making more friends in his own house. Emma hoped eventually it would be enough for him.

Regina continued to wait in her classroom during the time Henry used to come. She started joining her. The guilt of breaking them apart hit her every time a noise had Regina looking to the door. It felt like penance. She knew it would be better in the long run. A little pain now was better than a lot of pain later. They would stay in her classroom for about an hour or so before moving to Regina’s rooms when it was obvious he wasn’t coming. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma could hear their voices through the door as she approached and she smiled, hoping they had gotten a little silly drunk so she could tease them. Regina had gone to Hogsmeade for dinner with Kathryn and Emma had promised to join them for a drink if she finished in enough time. They hadn't spent any time outside the school together yet and even though Kathryn was going to be there it still felt like a date. She wanted to make a good impression.

“I barely know what I’m doing with the woman,” Regina’s voice rang clearly through the door. 

Emma winced and hesitated with her hand on the knob. Her old insecurities flared immediately and she clutched the large bouquet of flowers she had just bought tightly to her chest. 

“I mean do I take her to dinner, a play, dancing? I’m at a complete loss. I want to do this right.” 

Emma immediately reinflated. 

“You’ve never really dated before,” Kathryn said with an amused tone. “You mostly just had sex.”

“This is more,” Regina said. “I want a future with her.” Emma smiled. It wasn’t fair of her to be eavesdropping on their conversation, but it was nice to actually know what was going on in Regina’s head for once.

“What about the adoption? How does she feel about that?” Emma froze just as she was moving to turn the handle.

“I haven’t brought it up yet. It might get rejected and I don’t want to bring up bad memories for no reason. I almost did the other night when we were talking about him, but it didn’t feel right.” 

Emma fell back against the wall. Everything she had told Henry had been wrong.

“And you’ve mostly been having sex and not talking like you usually do.” 

“Oh, shut up.” Regina was quiet a moment. “I just don’t know anymore.” 

“What’s wrong?” Kathryn asked.

“Henry has been distant since he got into trouble. He’s been avoiding me. I thought after the Howler things would return to normal, but it’s gotten worse. I don’t know what to do. What if I’m not the right person to be his mother? What if he doesn’t even want me to be his mother? I want what’s best for him and I need to be aware that it might not be me.” 

Emma felt her heart breaking. She did this.

“And that’s what makes you the perfect choice to be his mother!” Kathryn said. “He’s a moody 11 year old. The fact that you care what he wants makes you perfect.

“What if I’m not a good mother? I haven’t exactly had the best example.”

“Oh, Regina,” Kathryn said sympathetically. 

Emma couldn't take it anymore. She clutched the flowers to her chest and bolted. At the front desk, she left the flowers with a barmaid with the message that she would be unable to join them before running out. She stopped and stared back at the tavern despondently for a long moment before making the long hike back to the castle. She had really fucked up. 

She grabbed a bottle from her room and went in search of Ruby, hoping the Transfiguration teacher would save her from herself. She found her in her rooms.

Ruby shook her head at the sight of her and her bottle. She yanked it from her hands and tossed it on the couch. “You have to stop drinking away your problems. I’m not giving you a glass.”

“I could just drink it straight from the bottle,” Emma muttered, falling onto the couch and cradling it in her arms.

“That bad, huh?” Ruby asked.

“I think so.”

Ruby took the bottle and poured a glass. “You get one. That’s it. I’m not letting you turn into some drunken mess. Especially if Regina’s going to show up eventually and demand to speak with you.”

“She won’t.”

“Whatever stupid thing you did, you guys are past that avoidance shit. She’ll come.”

“She doesn’t know what I did yet.”

“Oh, Emma. Tell me you didn’t cheat on her.”

“Thanks for the confidence in my fidelity,” she said, taking a large gulp. Ruby just shrugged. “I didn’t cheat, but it’s bad. I fucked up.”

“Confess your sins to Aunt Ruby and see if she can help figure out your penance.”

Emma tossed the rest of the drink back. “I told Henry that Regina wasn’t his mother and never would be and that he should stop hoping for the impossible because would only be let down in the end.” 

“Oh, Emma.”

Emma sat up, narrowing her eyes at the other professor. “You know about the adoption.”

“She asked me to be a character witness.”

“Of course she did,” Emma said, running her hands through her hair. “Did she tell you that Henry’s been pulling away?”

“No, but I noticed. They used to be as thick as thieves.”

“Now she’s doubting herself about the adoption and I’ve made such a mess of things.”

“What did you say to her when she told you?”

Emma looked away. “She didn’t exactly tell me.” She held up her glass and looked up at Ruby with big eyes. “Were you serious about the one glass?” 

Ruby glared. “Finish your story,” she said.

“I went to meet her and Kathryn at The Three Broomsticks and I overheard them talking about it. What should I do? I should tell her, but then I have to admit to eavesdropping and running.”

“You have to tell her, Emma. What if she decides not to adopt Henry because of you?”

Emma held up her glass. “One more,” Ruby said. She filled it with a sigh. “For courage. You have to tell her.”

“Tonight?”

“Better sooner rather than later. Especially with the listening at doors.”

Emma sighed and took a smaller sip than before. She would need to be sober for the coins conversation. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A surly House Elf informed her of Regina’s arrival with a lecture about how unethical it was for a master to make him spy on another of his masters. The Elf left in a huff and Emma cursed Ruby for confiscating the rest of her bottle. It was her own fault for bringing her only booze to the wolf’s room. She was going to need it after this. Regina would doubtfully be in much of a sharing mood after.

Regina’s face lit up when she saw her and Emma felt it stab her in the gut. 

“I got your flowers. They’re lovely,” Regina said, ushering her in. She noticed Emma’s despondent demeanor as she leaned in for a kiss and pulled back with a look of concern. “What’s wrong, dear? Did something happen?” She sniffed. “Have you been drinking?”

“Just two glasses. I’m sober-ish,” she said, pulling out of Regina’s arms. 

“What’s wrong?” Regina asked letting her arms fall weakly.

“I don’t know where to begin,” Emma said softly.

“Is it me? Did I do something?” Vulnerability tainted Regina’s voice and Emma wanted to cry.

“No, it’s not you or us. Please let’s sit,” Emma said, leading Regina to the sofa. Pleased with the gentle exhale Regina let out when she said no. “I messed up. I came to The Three Broomsticks and overheard part of your conversation with Kathryn.” 

Regina’s eyes narrowed. 

“I didn’t mean to, but I heard about the adoption and your worries about Henry.” Emma looked at her lap. 

Regina’s eyes widened. “Do you agree? Is that what this is about?” 

Emma’s head shot up. “What? No. You’ll make an excellent mother. It’s just… it’s all my fault Henry’s been acting differently with you. He was getting very attached and I didn’t want him to get hurt.” She looked down at her lap again. “I told him that you weren’t his mother and you never would be. I told him to make friends instead of hoping for the impossible. That’s why he’s been pulling away.”

“Oh.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Emma asked, studying her face.

“I’m processing. I understand why you did it, but there isn’t much I can do to fix it.”

“You could tell him.”

“I haven’t been approved yet. That would give him unrealistic hope, which is what you were trying to avoid in the first place.”

“Oh.”

“I appreciate that you told me. Though I wish you had told me when it happened.”

“I should have, but then we starting talking about me and well… I didn’t want you to feel bad.”

“I would have felt better knowing the truth.”

“I get that now.”

Regina reached for her hand. “I would have doubted myself either way. We still need to work on the talking thing it seems.”

“Seems like it,” Emma said with a smile. “So, you are going to be a mother.”

“I’m trying to be. We’ll see if I get my chance.”

“I couldn’t be a mother,” Emma said. Regina’s brow furrowed and she looked away. “With all I’ve been through,” Emma continued. “I don’t think I could do it.”

Regina looked back at her. “Don’t think or do you know?”

“When I look at my friend Neal and his little family, it’s all well and good, but in what world could I do that?”

“I was hoping in this one.”

“What?”

“I’m trying to adopt Henry, Emma. If you were planning to be with me in the future, he’s going to be included in the package. If you don’t think you can be a mother than do you really want to do this?”

“Do what? Us?”

“Yes,” Regina said, removing her hand from Emma’s and shifted in her seat putting some distance between them.

“I know it’s a lot to throw at you all at once and I hadn’t intended to do it in such a manner,” she said, raising her eyebrow at Emma, “but I want Henry to be my son and any partner I’m with will have to accept that. I’d expect them to have a role in his life.” Emma stared at her. “If you can’t see a future with a child in your life, how can this work in the long run? We should probably end this now before it gets too serious.”

“End this? I don’t have to be his mom to be a part of your lives. I could be a friend. An Aunt,” Emma said, suddenly realizing how invested she had really gotten to the idea of a future with Regina, but then again she hadn’t imagined a kid in the way.

“You know that wouldn’t work if we were together. How do you think that would make Henry feel? I want him to have his best chance. Someone who doesn’t want to be his mother isn’t his best chance.”

“Regina,” Emma pleaded, “We can work something out. He would understand.”

“Would he? Or would he just see another rejection? Emma, you of all people know that that isn’t what’s best for him.”

“I don’t want this to be over. Not after everything.”

“So what? You want to stay secret fuck buddies forever?” Regina asked. The crude words sounded especially harsh from her lips. “Only together during the school year?”

“That’s not what this is for me.”

“It wasn’t for me either,” Regina said and Emma noted the past tense with a wince. “But if it comes to you or Henry…” she trailed off. 

She pushed off her seat and kneeled in front of Emma, taking her hands. “I feel like I am meant to be his mother. I don’t want to choose between either of you, but if it comes down to it I choose Henry.”

“Henry’s the right choice any way,” Emma said, standing abruptly. Regina fell back. 

She brushed away tears. Not chosen again. “I guess this is it then. Friends, again?” She couldn’t even be angry at Regina for her choice. It only made her love her more. It just hurt.

Regina stood and pulled her around. “Could you think about it? This doesn’t have to be the end. Perhaps just a break. Don’t go.”

“I’ll think about it,” Emma mumbled before turning and fleeing. 

Ruby handed the bottle over without question and Emma went and did the opposite of think.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The next morning, the Muggle Studies students were treated to another episode of Bill Nye and the Potions students noted the redness of Regina’s eyes and extra snappiness wearily. They all knew the honeymoon was over.

It continued on all week and at rehearsal, everyone whispered to themselves in concern. They still spoke to each other with kindness, but it was laced with longing and gone were the little touches and happy smiles they had grown used to. Mary Margaret and Henry whispered about it sadly and Regina wondered if the girl had blabbed to the boy about their relationship. 

The set had already started to take a distinct shape. The cast and crew working together to build something fantastic. The castle was going to be their pride and joy. Now that the script was finished they had a lot to tweak and finish up. 

Emma and Henry distributed the finished script with pride and watched together as everyone read over their lines. Each laugh was another boost to their egos. Even though it had been a collaboration with everyone, the two of them had put a lot of work into it. Regina looked at the two of them sadly before corralling everyone back to their tasks. 

Emma realized that Regina must have been watching them interact over the last few weeks thinking how perfect their little family could be. She hated that she was crushing Regina’s dream, but she had to protect herself. And them. 

She always ran. Committing herself to a future with Regina had been hard enough, but now there was a tiny human in play and she just couldn’t make any promises. Henry had already lost one set of parents and he’d have to see her at school all year knowing she’d left. He’d still see her as a parent even if her relationship with Regina didn’t last. Regina was asking for a lifetime commitment and she wasn’t ready for any of that. 

The whole week, she had alternated between wanting to run to Regina and promise the world and quitting her job and joining the Muggle world in order to never see her again. She didn’t know what to do.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

After the rehearsal, Emma retreated to her rooms, looking for anything to distract her from her new sad reality. She had just settled in to her coursework and a large glass of whiskey when there was a knock on her door. She recognized the knock. She tossed back the whiskey and contemplated ignoring it. 

Regina had given her her space to think things through the whole week. It seemed like her patience had finally worn thin. She owed her at least a talk at this point.

Regina looked surprised she actually opened the door.

“Come on,” Emma said, opening the door more to give her room to enter. Regina moved passed her and settled on the couch. “Do you want a drink or something?”

“Not particularly,” she said, folding her hands on her lap.

“Well, don’t mind me then,” Emma said, as she picked up the bottle from the table and filled the glass. Her papers filled the coffee table and she knew it looked a mess. She took a seat on the opposite end of the couch. “So.”

“So.” Regina turned to look at her. “Have you given it some thought?”

“I have.”

“And?”

“It’s a lot to throw at me, Regina. You can’t expect me to suddenly be ready to be a mom in just a week.”

“I don’t expect you to see him as your son right away, Emma. You don’t have to be a mother any time soon. I don’t even know if I’ll be accepted. There just has to be a chance that you could. If you can never see yourself as a mother…”

“I don’t even know what mothers do.”

“We could take it slow. This all is as new to me as it is to you.” Regina laughed to herself. “Did you know that I used to get jealous when I saw the two of you interact? This won’t be easy and now… I know it’s a lot to ask of you when I don’t even know where you saw this going.”

“I saw a lot of things, Regina. I just didn’t see a kid,” Emma said. “I mean we were a lesbian couple with demanding jobs. We’ve never even been on a date. It didn’t occur to me that you were ready to adopt some kid.”

“It’s not just some kid, Emma. It’s Henry.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t see him in my vision of the future.”

“And you can’t see him there now?”

“He’s my student. I thought it would maybe be something we discussed together in the future. We haven’t even talked about what this summer would look like between us. We’ve only been together a month.”

“A good month.”

“Yeah, but you are asking too much of one good month.”

“I understand,” Regina said, standing up and making her way to the door. “Is this it then? Are we over?”

“I just need more time, Regina.”

“Okay.” She opened the door and stepped out. 

“I miss you,” she said as she closed the door.

“I miss you, too.”


	21. Chapter 21

As short as her relationship with Regina had been, Emma couldn’t remember what she had done in its place. She tried to distract herself with the play, but eventually Regina had to step in and chide her for micromanaging the students.

As the break dragged on, Emma searched for anything to occupy her time. She wandered her rooms aimlessly, picking up books only to abandon them moments later. She had never been as on top of her coursework in all her years of teaching as she was now. She filled her rooms with old Muggle artifacts she could pretend were for her class. Pieces of a toaster oven she had taken apart were spread all over her desk. She was convinced she had lost a few of them so it just sat in pieces on her desk in limbo.

She asked to referee the upcoming Quidditch match and McGonagall had eyed her warily, but allowed it. She took to sitting out by the pitch as the students practiced. It helped clear her head and gave her something to do that wouldn’t remind her of Regina.

It stopped being helpful when a group of ambitious Quidditch captains asked if she would supervise them as they worked with some of the younger students on their broom handling. They were hoping to break them of bad habits early. Their enthusiasm reminded her of her own ambitious play for the cup. 

It wouldn’t have been so bad, if Henry hadn’t been so enthusiastic about it. He had no idea what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

He still knew nothing of what was being planned around him. He couldn’t even imagine a hot summer astride a broomstick. He knew his hand in life and embraced what opportunities he could find. She wished she had done the same when she was his age. Too much of her childhood had been spent being resentful. She couldn’t imagine what Regina saw of her in him. 

Watching the kid kick off the ground, still unsteady, provided her with the unhelpful daydream of a summer teaching him herself. Regina was giving her the opportunity and it scared the crap out of her.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

The tone of her letters must have telling because she received a cheerful owl from Neal telling her he was bringing the family up for the Quidditch match. She sent one back scolding him for picking a game she couldn’t actually spend with him and his newborn.

They planned to stay the weekend at least and they agreed to dinner and a day on the town. She found herself looking forward to spending some time with them. It seemed like just what she needed. Neal could give her some perspective. Her fellow orphan had a miraculous way of helping her understand herself.

While she had floundered, Neal had managed to figure it all out. He found Tamara and settled down while she just resigned herself to the spinster aunt that taught at Hogwarts. She had given up on the idea of a family when she was young. She didn’t imagine it would become an issue all over again as she became an adult. She had a different kind of family in her friends, but they didn’t require the effort that a spouse and child did. They were supposed to be forever and forever was a long time. She could walk away from her friends without the lasting damage that a commitment to Henry and Regina would be.

Regina was asking for a possible future not marriage, but there was just so much to worry about. She knew that she wasn’t going to have to be a mother immediately after her decision, but down the road as Regina’s partner it would eventually become a necessity. She wished she could just be that cool aunt that was around all the time, but Regina was right. It would be unfair to Henry. She didn’t want him to ever believe he deserved less and she couldn’t help feel like he would if she tried to go that route. 

There was just too much potential for people to get hurt in every situation she imagined. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The adoption lawyers told her that she would have an answer before the end of the year. If all went to plan, Henry would be spending the summer with her in her mansion and after a few more assessments, they could finalize the adoption. Before the end of the year, they would want to talk to him themselves to make sure he wanted the adoption. His okay would be the final piece of the equation.

She had fallen back into her routine of life before Emma and Henry. She no longer waited in her classroom. She knew neither of them was coming. It seemed infinitely more lonely than it had before.

She realized she had been naive. Her usual pessimism had been focused entirely on the adoption and the troubles with Henry. She hadn’t thought about Emma’s reaction much at all and she should have. They had just managed to work out their own problems and now she was basically proposing raising a child together. It was the ultimate lesbian u-haul and Emma was a self professed commitment-phobe. 

She had just assumed that Emma would like the idea of adopting Henry. They got along so well and she thought that Emma was feeling the same things she was for the boy. It was hard for her to imagine anyone not loving him the way that she did.

She missed him terribly. 

A child was a lot for any new relationship, but she needed to know where Emma stood. Perhaps she should have brought it up at the beginning, but she had never seen the right time. Emma was right. They hadn’t even talked about the summer let alone any kind of future together. 

It was if subconsciously neither of them had expected things to last. They just went along for the ride, trying to maintain their happiness for as long as they could. It had only been a month like Emma had said and neither of them were used to relationships. 

Regina didn’t know when the appropriate time to bring up an adoption would have fit into their relationship. Maybe if they hadn’t know each other since they were school children and actually had a first date, she would have brought it up then to see if it was worth having a second date. To be fair, she wouldn’t have even been thinking about dating if it wasn’t Emma. No one else would have even made a blip on her radar. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“You are asking a hell of a lot of her,” Kathryn, said a few days later over a glass of wine.

“You think I don’t know that?” Regina said, with a pointed glare.

“I just don’t know why you expect her to be a parent to Henry. No one expects people they are dating to automatically become parents to their kids.”

“If she came into our life after, there would be different expectations.”

“I don’t really see that. You’re the one adopting him not her.”

“If I had Henry from the beginning, she would have had to think about him from the start. Maybe I don’t know enough about foster children and adoption, but how would you feel if you were all alone and someone decided to take you in, but their partner acted like you were just a new friend their lover picked up.”

“She wouldn’t act that way.” 

“How am I supposed to know? She’s saying she could never see him as her son.”

“Is she? Or is she saying she needs time?”

“She offered Aunt not stepmom.”

“That’s better than nothing. She at least wants this to work. If Frederick decided to adopt one of the students, it would throw me and we’ve been together years.”

“But you would never say you would just be their friend or Aunt.”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I would do,” she said, swirling her wine glass. “It’s a lot to ask someone.”

“I’m not trying to force her to be a mother, Kathryn, but I don’t want someone in his life that is going to treat him like he is less than what he deserves. I’m trying to make the best decision for Henry.”

“Emma is not your mother. She would never look at him like a burden.”

“She already is,” Regina snapped back.

Kathryn looked up at her. “She isn’t, Regina. You aren’t giving her enough credit here. How would you feel in her shoes?”

“I’m trying to put Henry’s needs first. Not Emma’s.”

“I understand that, but you aren’t considering hers at all,” Kathryn said as Regina sighed. “I know you are overwhelmed right now, but you need to stop pressuring her. She’s overwhelmed as well.”

“I’m not pressuring her. I’ve barely talked to her at all.”

“And that’s pressure in and of itself. You need to talk about things instead of leaving her to think this is it. A real couple is a team. You can’t shut her out.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

“You are starting to look pretty good on that broom,” Emma said as she leaned against the bleachers.

“Really?” he asked. He looked down at the borrowed broom.

“Yeah. Better than me at your age.” 

“No way. You’re amazing.”

“Yes way. I had to practice a lot to get where I am now,” she said, taking the broom and looking it over. It was an old Cleansweeper. Perfect for a newbie.

He watched her look over the broom. “Do you think my new family will have one I could use this summer?”

“A broom?” She shrugged. “Anything is possible,” she said, looking away. “I always borrowed one from the other kids in the neighborhood.”

“Oh,” he said. 

His mind clearly drifted to homes that had little to offer a boy his age as entertainment. She wondered what his face would look like when he realized he was going home to a mansion stocked with all the things he could ever need. 

She wished she could tell him.

“Guess, I’ll have to make more friends.”

“Some of your friends will probably live nearby. The magical world isn’t all that big.” She knew for a fact that Mary Margaret lived in an estate very close to Regina’s. Not that Mary Margaret could stay on a broom for more than a few minutes without nosediving, but she would be there. 

And Emma wouldn’t.

Maybe Regina would let her come by and hang out with him. She shook off the thought. Knowing Regina, she would agree just to make Henry happy even if it killed her to watch them together. It wouldn’t be fair to show her what could have been only to take it away all over again. Maybe, she could take a vacation to the States for the summer. Take away the temptation. 

She had imagined a lazy summer with Regina, free from responsibility. Most days spent just spent just enjoying being together. She had wondered if she would even need her sublet or if Regina would invite her to stay with her. Henry fit into the picture easier now that she’d had some time to get used to the idea and it hurt.

“Do you think I could use a broom in the play? Instead of just climbing over everything?” he asked, looking down at the loaner broom. “That would be so awesome. Could you imagine?” he asked, his eyes going distant as he imagined swooping around the set. 

“I can imagine you breaking your neck,” she said, looking up at him.

“Oh, come on with you directing me I’d be fine.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that. How many times did you fall today?”

“You’re a teacher. Teach me. I already know all of my lines. Come on!”

Emma hummed. “I’ll think about it.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

The day of the game brought a cloudless sky and a warm sun. She couldn’t remember a more beautiful day. Spring would be coming soon. She stretched her muscles out before climbing a top her old trusty broomstick. The familiar feel of the broomstick in her grasp allowed her to relax. It wasn’t a particularly heated match. Ravenclaw had pretty much sealed the Cup in their last match, but neither Hufflepuff nor Slytherin wanted to end the year in last place.

From her view up in the sky, she could see Henry. He was trying to be an equal opportunity supporter, but she could see members of the Drama Club pressuring him to pick a side. Mary Margaret wrapped her Slytherin scarf around his neck proudly while he laughed. 

Regina appeared behind them and snatched Belle’s Ravenclaw knit cap off her head and squished it on his head. Henry grinned up at her and she wished she could hear what they were saying. It was nice to see them trying. Regina had been using a soft touch since she found out, integrating her relationship with him with the other students so he wouldn’t feel guilty.

Eugenia and Ruby were clearly grumbling all decked out in Hufflepuff paraphernalia as they passed them on their way to their seats. Ruby shouted something at Regina who simply smirked back.

She looked around for Neal and Tamara and found them settled into the Slytherin guest section. She held back a laugh at the sight of Neal dressed in silver and green. She couldn’t even see the infant through the Slytherin colors.

Up on her broom, she felt happy for the first time in what felt like ages. The people she cared about were happy. She only wished she was down there with them.

 

SQSQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma nursed a drink in the bar as she waited for Neal to help Tamara get the kids settled for the night. While she was waiting, Regina, Kathryn and Frederick arrived. They smiled and she waved at them. Frederick squeezed Kathryn’s arm and came over while the two women took over a table off to the back. 

“Hey, if you want us to head upstairs I’m sure I can convince them,” he said.

“Nah. I’m just waiting for Neal Cassidy. I won’t even notice you guys,” she replied with a smile.

“Alright. If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Nice job today. You really know how to handle a broom. I’d love to have you ref more next year if you are interested.”

“That sounds good, Fred,” she said, waving her drink. 

“Awesome. Well, I’ll leave you to it. Have a good night.”

“You too. Tell them I said hello.”

“Will do.”

Neal came down just as Frederick was heading back over. They nodded at each other and his eyes spotted Fred’s party.

“You want to go?” he asked, sliding onto the stool beside her.

“Nah. It’s okay.” 

“Because if you do…”

“It’s okay, Neal. We aren’t teenagers in a fight.”

He looked unconvinced. “Let’s get a table.” He looked toward Regina. “Actually, let’s go upstairs. I want to be able to hear your tale of woe.” 

Emma rolled her eyes, but followed him up to the private rooms. Her eyes met Regina’s for a moment as she hit the stairs and she shrugged. Regina smiled weakly. 

Emma wished for a second that she was bringing Neal over to officially meet her as her girlfriend instead of following him upstairs to tell him about their break up. They had both heard so much about the other over the years. It made her chuckle to herself imagining Neal give Regina the “don’t hurt my friend again” conversation. Too late for that, she guessed.

“So, tell me about it,” Neal said, after their pitcher of beer of beer arrived.

“She’s adopting a kid,” Emma said, filling her glass.

“Shit. Wow. So is she quitting?”

“No. He’s a student. A first year named Henry. She wouldn’t need to quit.”

“Wow,” he said, scratching his neck. “That’s like every dream we ever had.” 

“Yeah. I know.”

“So, how is this is a problem?” he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

“You know how I feel about kids.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?”

Neal shrugged. “So she just blurted this out to you when you told her you didn’t want kids and ended it?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?”

“I overheard a conversation. It’s a long story and unimportant. She told me we were over if I couldn’t see myself as a mother someday.”

“Well, shit,” he said, rubbing his scruff, “I hate to say it, but that’s fair.”

Emma groaned. “Why would she start something with me if she didn’t know I wanted kids?”

“Maybe I’m wrong, but I know a lot of people that don’t want kids and you don’t seem like one of them.” She raised her eyebrows at him. 

“Hear me out, Ems,” he said, taking a swig of his beer. She waved him on as she took a sip of her own. “Most of the people I know that don’t want kids are career driven or hate kids. Or they understand themselves and know they wouldn’t be a good parent. That’s not you. You would be a great parent. You just seem afraid.”

“I am afraid, but I also know I would be a terrible parent. What do I know about family? How could I have one of my own?”

“You know more about family than you think. What did I know about family and look at me now. You’ve always told me about Regina’s exacting standards. Would she have chosen you if she didn’t think you could do it?”

“She didn’t choose me, Neal.”

“She did. By getting into a relationship with you, knowing that this kid Henry was going to be a part of her life, she chose you as her co-parent. Her family. You think your decision is scary, imagine hers.”

“Well, she should have asked me if I even wanted her to make the decision. She probably only chose me because I’m an orphan and can cover any of the orphan problems. Maybe that’s why she went after me in the first place,” she grumbled into her beer.

“You and I both know that woman would not choose you because of something like that,” he said. “You haven’t told her no, yet, have you?”

“I told her I’d think about it.”

“So are you actually thinking about it?”

“He’s a good kid, Neal. I could see it all so easily,” she shook her head, “but I don’t think I can do it. I’ve never felt that unconditional love that kids are all about. I wouldn’t even know where to begin. What if I’m one of those parents that doesn’t love enough? I don’t want Henry to feel unloved. I think that’s good enough reason to not have a kid.”

“Emma, I know you. There’s no way that kid would ever feel unloved around you.”

“I’ve only had to care for myself for so long. I don’t know how to put someone else first. Just the idea of being with Regina was daunting. Now add a child and it’s just unfathomable. I’m scared I’m going to fuck him up.”

“You can’t let fear run your life, Em.” He gave her a look. “Look, you have every right to be scared. Children are terrifying, but you aren’t a coward. Don’t lose your chance at happiness just because you’re afraid.”

“I have the right to be a coward when other people are at stake, Neal.”

“You are hurting them either way.”

“How so?”

“You don’t think Regina is hurting right now?” he asked raising his eyebrows.

“Henry isn’t.”

“Yeah, but his life would be better with you in it.”

“I just don’t know.”

“You know I love you, Emma. I don’t want you to regret this the rest of your life. You wouldn’t be alone in this. Regina would be there the whole time.”

“The last time I took a chance on Regina, it blew up in my face.”

“You were teenagers. That what usually happens. You’re adults now. Look, I’ll be there, too. So will Ruby and Granny and everyone else. You won’t be alone in this.”

“Someday I’ll disappoint him and that would kill me. I don’t know if I can handle the constant heartbreak of being a parent. I’m not his best chance, Bae." 

His face softened at the use of his old nickname. “I know you, Emma. You could be his best chance if you wanted to be. You want to be, right?”

“He deserves better than me.”

“I’m sure he deserves the world, but right now you are what he has.”

“He has Regina.”

“He could have you, too. You deserve your chance at a family, Emma. Deep down if you want this you need to at least try.”

“Just because I want something doesn’t mean I should do it.”

“Do you love Regina?”

Emma sighed. “I do.” 

“Do you love the kid?

“I think so.”

“Then I think it’s worth a try.”

“I just don’t know. Forever is a long time. I don’t trust myself.”


	22. Chapter 22

It was around closing time and Emma had relocated to the bar. She didn’t want to go back to her empty rooms just yet. They just reminded her of what she was missing. Regina and Kathryn had been gone when she had seen Neal off to his room. He hadn’t wanted to leave her, but his little one would be awake soon and he needed all the sleep he could get. 

She had started sobering up since he left and she wished they'd been drinking whiskey all night instead of the beer. It would have at least given her an excuse to get a room for the night. 

A light hand on her shoulder made her start in surprise. She turned blearily toward the person only to sigh at Regina’s concerned face. 

“Hey,” Emma said up at her.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you when you didn’t come back to the castle.”

“Keeping tabs on me now?” she asked, downing the last of her warm beer.

“I care about you, Emma.”

“Just not enough.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re not fair.”

Regina wrung her hands together. “I guess I deserve that.”

“You do.”

Regina let out a heavy sigh. “Come on. Let’s get you back to the castle and your bed.” She tugged loosely on her arm. Emma grumbled, but threw some money on the bar. 

Regina kept a hold on her arm as they left the tavern. Emma didn’t have the heart to shrug her off. It felt good to be touching again and she leaned into the hold pretending just a bit that she was drunker than she was.

She studied the other woman as they made their way up the path to the school. Regina had her wand out to guide the way. She looked so tired. 

They entered the castle in silence. It was late and the only ones out and about were the House Elves. 

“I’m sorry,” Regina said, as they neared her rooms. 

“For what?”

“You have to ask?”

“There are a lot of things you could be sorry for, Regina,” Emma said and she felt Regina tense beside her. 

“I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like this. I would hate it if I was in your shoes right now.”

“You need to think about what is best for Henry. I just wish you had before we got into this mess.”

“This mess being our relationship?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Emma said, finally pulling her arm away. “This has nothing to do with you and what we have. I’m just trying to do the right thing by you and Henry.”

Regina tilted her head. “I appreciate that.”

“Regina, I love you.” For once she didn't have to fight her mouth to get the words out. They finally felt right and true. She had wanted it to be romantic and beautiful. She hated that this was how she was telling Regina. The moment was all wrong and too tinged with sadness and the end.

Regina’s eyes softened. “Oh Emma.” She reached for her face and palmed her cheek. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not. I started sobering up awhile ago. I mean it. I love you.”

Regina studied her face in the flickering light of the lantern outside her door. “I love you too,” she murmured, stroking her jaw with her thumb. “But…”

“Please don’t,” Emma interrupted. “Can we just forget everything else for a minute?” Emma asked, leaning into the hand. “Let’s just be in love. Just for a minute.”

“Okay,” Regina said, leaning forward and pressing her head to Emma’s.

Emma ducked her head up to press her lips to Regina’s. It felt like coming home. Regina responded in kind, kissing her back, gentle and chaste.

It wasn’t enough after so long apart. Regina wrapped her hand up in Emma’s curls and deepened the kiss. Emma’s hands ran up and down Regina’s body.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

“Can we?” Regina asked, looking toward the door.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Emma fumbled with the door, praying that Regina wouldn’t change her mind. It was a terrible idea and she knew it, but she didn’t want to stop either. When she finally got it open, Regina pounced, pushing her in and slamming the door shut. 

“I love you,” Regina said, pressing her against the door. 

“I love you,” Emma said, flipping them, “but bed.” She kissed her quickly before taking her hand and pulling her to the bedroom. The disarray her room had fallen into since the breakup was embarrassing, but Regina’s eyes were only on her as they moved to the bed. 

Regina discarded her robe and began hurriedly removing her clothes as if any hesitation would bring them back to their good senses. Emma joined her in the rush and they fell into bed naked. 

Regina pushed her onto her back and straddled her. She ran her hands up Emma’s abdomen. Emma shivered at the grasping touch. “I love you,” Emma said, looking up at her.

“And I you,” Regina said, leaning in and kissing her. Emma wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in tighter. 

They pressed together as close as they could get. Regina shifted so her thigh pressed between her legs and she bucked into it. Just the feeling of Regina’s naked body against her again had her so wet. “I’ve missed this,” she gasped into Regina’s mouth, “so much.”

Regina’s hand groped at her chest before finding her nipple and tweaking it between her fingers. Her mouth moved to her neck and she bit and sucked in rhythm with her hand as Emma rode her thigh. Regina moved her mouth down and flicked her nipple with the tip of her tongue.

“Just fuck me already,” Emma groaned.

“No.” 

Emma whined as Regina's hand trailed up her inner thigh. 

“I'm not going to just fuck you tonight.” Regina’s hand trailed further up. “Not tonight.” Her hand reached the apex of her thighs and she trailed her fingers through the copious wetness before reaching her clit. “Tonight, I’m going to make love to you,” she said as she circled it with the tips of her fingers.

“So corny,” Emma gasped.

“Shut up, Miss Swan.”

“I can’t help it if you get Boyz to Men stuck in my head.”

“Must you always ruin the moment?” Regina asked with a grin.

Emma opened her mouth to respond, but Regina wasn’t interested. She slid two fingers in effectively turning her smart comeback into a moan. She began pumping her fingers in slowly. Emma dug her fingers into her bare shoulders and rocked her hips to meet her thrusts. 

“Oh god, Regina.” She was already so close. It had been so long and she had missed her so much. Regina kissed her, but soon they were gasping into each others mouths unable to focus on actually kissing. 

She came apart under Regina’s hand and it was everything. 

Regina rubbed against her thigh. Emma grabbed her ass and pulled her against until she collapsed on top of her with a long moan..

They fell apart and stared at the ceiling, letting the sweat cool on their skin. Emma couldn’t bear to look at Regina. She didn’t want to see the regret she was sure she’d find. 

“Was this break up sex or make up sex?” Emma asked quietly into the dark of her messy quiet room. The moon was full and streaming through her window giving her enough light to make out the disaster her dresser had turned into.

“I suppose that is up to you,” Regina replied, just as softly.

“I still don’t have an answer for you.”

“Maybe we could try again after I get settled in with Henry. Maybe in a few years, you’ll know the answer and we could try again,” Regina said, looking away. 

“I don’t want to wait another few years to be with you. We’ve already waited too many years.”

“I want you to be happy, Emma.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’ll grow to resent me if you make this decision because of me and not because of what you actually want.”

“Just because I’m scared of something doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” 

“You want it?” Regina asked tentatively. She could feel Regina’s intense stare.

“I want you,” Emma said.

“That’s not the same thing, Emma, and you know it. You have to want all of it. Me and Henry.”

“I don’t know.”

Regina looked away. “I can wait for you.”

“It might be years before I’m ever ready. I don't want you to wait years for your happy ending.”

“Years?” Regina whispered. 

“I don’t even know if I’ll ever be ready. I’m afraid,” Emma said.

“I am, too” Regina said, rolling toward her. “Can we be afraid together?”

“I’d like that,” Emma said, turning her head to look at her for a moment before looking back at the ceiling. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. “What are you afraid of?”

Regina huffed out a sigh. “Everything.”

Emma laughed softly. “I know that feeling.”

“I’m going to be a mother. Soon I won’t be allowed to be afraid.”

“Mothers are allowed to be afraid,” Emma said, thinking about what Neal had said. 

“I suppose.”

“No matter what happens with us, I’ll still be here for you if you need me,” she said, finally rolling over to face Regina.

In the dim light, she could see the warring emotions play out on Regina’s face. 

“What are you so afraid of?” Regina asked.

“Can I get away with saying everything, too?” Emma asked.

“If that’s what you want. I’d prefer if you didn’t.” Regina said, reaching out to stroke her cheek as she had earlier that night. “I just want to understand. I want to know why it’s so hard for you. I love you.”

Emma sighed. “I don’t know. It’s a lot at once. I’m just really worried I won’t be good enough or ready enough. It’s all so soon.” She placed her hand on top of Regina’s and stilled the movement. “I thought I’d have years before I had to make this kind of decision and even then I thought I knew what my answer would be.”

“I’m glad you are at least thinking about it,” Regina said. 

“I probably wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for you.”

“I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like I did. I just wanted to do right by Henry. I don’t really know what that is. You don’t have to make any promises right now.”

“You were right though. I can’t just commit to be a part of his life without really thinking about how he would feel about it. That’s part of what’s so terrifying. I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of serious commitment. I run, Regina. You know that.”

“You haven’t yet.”

“No, I haven’t. I’m here.”

“You are,” Regina said. “The adoption classes were helpful for me. Maybe you could try one.”

“Maybe.” 

Emma rolled back onto her back. “If I said yes, what do you think it would be like? How do you see this playing out?”

“If you said yes?” Emma nodded into the dark. “Well, I would tell him about our relationship and we would take it slow with him. I wouldn’t introduce the idea of you being more to him until we felt comfortable.”

“Oh. I kinda thought it would be,” she hesitated, “more.”

“I’m only looking for the a possibility of more, Emma. If there isn’t even a chance of you being more to him, I don’t even want to put the idea in his head. It would be one thing for Henry if we just broke up and another if you were there, but not for him.”

“I understand.”

They laid there in silence for a long moment. There was little noise beyond the sound of their breathing. She shifted and the sheets sounded much louder than usual. Emma wished she could curl up into Regina, but it didn’t feel right to ask for that from Regina, not after everything. Regina felt like strength even now and she just wanted to borrow some for awhile.

“Should I go?” Regina asked after a few more minutes.

Emma could feel her eyes on her and she smiled. “I wouldn’t have brought you to my bed if I wanted you to leave.”

“You would have taken me, a Queen on the couch?” Regina asked, playing along.

Emma snorted. “I could have enjoyed taking a Queen against the door.”

She could hear the smirk even without seeing it. “I could have enjoyed that as well.”

“What are we going to do in the morning?” Emma asked, softly still not looking at her.

“I don’t know. Let’s not worry about that now,” Regina said, opening her arms. “Come here,” Emma smiled and rolled into her arms and let the warm comfort of Regina’s arms lull her to sleep.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma woke first. She was still tucked snugly up into Regina. She needed to meet Neal and the family down in Hogsmeade, but she really didn’t want to move and break the spell they had woven. When she got out of bed, they would go back to living their separate lives again and she didn’t want that.

Her alarm would go off soon and then she wouldn’t have much choice. It was purposely obnoxious and impossible to ignore. She turned her head slightly and Regina’s soft even breath fell on her cheek. She had just started to hope that she could wake like this every morning when everything had fallen to pieces.

It wasn’t like Henry was a baby. He could fend for himself. She could still have this.

Regina stirred against her and groaned pathetically. Her eyes fluttered open and met hers. “Why are you awake? It’s Sunday.”

“I have to meet Neal and Tamara down in Hogsmeade.”

Regina blinked sleepily. “Oh.” Emma pulled free and Regina let out a sad sigh, but let her go.

“You can stay here if you want,” Emma said, climbing out of the bed and pulling on some underwear. She grabbed her wand just as the bird statue on her dresser started to shriek and flap it’s wings.

Regina groaned at the noise and stretched her tired limbs. “I should get up. Rehearsal today is going to be a bear.” 

“Oh, yeah.”

“Are you going to be late?” Regina asked, eyes closed.

“I shouldn’t be. It’s why I planned to meet them so early.” 

Regina smiled, slow and easy. She didn’t seem to realize what Emma had first thing and Emma didn’t want to see her face when she did. She pulled on a pair of tight jeans and a thick sweater. She sat on the bed and pulled on her boots. Regina sat up as Emma went to wash her face and put on some light makeup. 

When she came back, Regina was dressing with her back to the door. Emma stared at the curve of her spine for a long moment. She wanted to memorize the sight of Regina in the early morning light, especially if it was the last time she would see it. 

She took a step toward the bed. “Regina.”

Regina’s shoulders slumped and her head fell a tiny bit. “Have a good time, Emma.”

“Thanks. Want me to pick you up anything while I’m down there? Need any mistletoe berries or unicorn horns?”

“My storeroom is always well stocked.”

“Of course. Well,” she rocked on her feet. “I guess I will see you later.”

“Yes.” She watched her for a second longer before she left. If her face was wet on the walk to Hogsmeade, she blamed the wind.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“So, Neal told me you might be having one of these soon,” Tamara said, swinging little Peter onto her hip.

“Not exactly. He’s a bit too big to carry at this point,” Emma said, squinting up into the bright sunlight.

“Oh?”

“He’s eleven. He’d appreciate my broom more than my hip at this point. He’s trying to get me to let him fly a broom in the play I’m doing with Regina Mills.”

Tamara’s eyes widened slightly at the name. Clearly, Neal had been talking. She sighed.

“Sounds about right for that age. This one has been trying to kick higher on that little broom you gave him for Christmas,” she said.

Emma grinned. “Looks like I’ll be buying him a real one for his birthday.”

“Don’t you dare, Emma Swan.”

Neal grinned behind his wife and nodded his head enthusiastically and gave her the thumbs up. Tamara caught her grin and spun on him with a glare. “No. She spoils him enough as it is. He’s too young.”

Peter squirmed in her arms and she dropped him down to the ground. He immediately ran straight for Zonko’s and Tamara chased after him. He was still tiny, but that just meant he could cause more havoc before anyone noticed.

“You look better than I thought you would after I left you in a bar moping,” Neal said, bouncing baby, Tamara a little as they followed his wife and son.

“I slept with Regina last night.” 

He stopped dead in his tracks and she smiled weakly back at him. 

“Seriously? I thought she left.”

“She came back. She was worried about me,” Emma said, shoving her hands into her pockets.

“So, you slept with her.”

“We talked.”

“It sounds like the opposite of talking. Are you back together now?”

“No. I still haven't decided.”

He groaned. “Come on, Emma.”

“I can't make this decision based off how much I want to sleep with her.”

“But you want this.”

“I don’t know. She asked me to come to one of the adoption classes she's been going to. She said they've been helpful.”

“That could be good. Knowledge is power and all that.”

“It just might be awkward as hell hearing them talk about raising foster kids when I was one.”

“I'll go with you if you want.”

“Really?”

“I said I was with you on this, didn't I? Lonely orphans stick together.”

“Yeah. You did,” she smiled at him and he gave her that crooked smile she knew so well. “I’ll find out the details.”

“Sounds good to me.”

She gestured for the baby, signaling the end of the discussion. She had enough of the emotional stuff for now. He could tell and handed her over with a wink. She nestled the baby in the crook of her arm and stroked the soft baby hair. Her cubby little cheeks were tinged with red and she gurgled when Emma tickled her belly. She had just started to laugh more according to Neal. 

“Let’s catch up to Tamara. I can only imagine what Peter has gotten up to.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

While Emma was roaming Hogsmeade, Regina returned to her room with a heavy heart. She joined the school for breakfast, but barely ate much at all. Emma’s absence didn’t go unnoticed and Kathryn and Ruby shot her concerned looks throughout the meal.

It had been inadvisable to sleep with Emma, but she had no regrets. She loved Emma and now she could say she knew Emma loved her back. It took the edge off the sorrow. 

Emma still didn’t give her an answer. Nothing was resolved. She felt hopeful, but at the same time it felt like false hope. She felt as if Emma would say yes and the adoption would fall through or Emma would say no and she would be a mother.

She wanted so much to be happy. 

She wished it could be as easy for her as it was for everyone else. She missed the happy daydreams that had come so easy early on when everything had felt possible. 

She went to the rehearsal space early and stared at the massive sets. She tweaked some of the spells on the designs and tried to imagine it all put together. She was impressed with the glass coffin the advanced Transfigurations students had made for Snow White. Her Evil Regals She was equally pleased with the story they had written. 

The villain of the piece was no longer the stepmother, but her dreadful father. Along the way, the story gets twisted and her husband vilifies the kind Queen to save himself. She hadn’t been surprised to discover that Mary Margaret was the one that wrote it.

Emma hadn’t understood why she had needed to take walk after she read it. 

Emma. 

She could still feel the warmth of her body pressed against hers. She had stayed awake long after Emma had fallen asleep and just held her tight. She knew that she would remember the feeling every night as she tried to sleep. Her arms would feel empty and useless as they had ever since they had started this break.

Soon, perhaps she would have Henry to fill them. She loved him so very much already and she was so close to having him in her life forever. 

She would make him so happy. She knew she would. He would be the most loved child in all of Hogwarts and he would know it. She would make sure he knew it. She wouldn’t make the same mistakes her mother did.

She hadn’t been able to understand why Emma didn’t want to be a part of it with her before, but now she had a better idea. She could appreciate Emma’s fears. If it wasn’t Henry, she would have been worried about the same things. Her mother had always told her that love was weakness. If she didn’t already love him, she never would have had the nerve to try and adopt. 

If Emma had brought her some random student, she would have pulled away just as fast as Emma had. She didn’t know what her reaction would have been beyond shock. She didn’t know how she would have gotten past it either. She wished she knew what would help Emma.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made cover art
>
>> [View post on imgur.com](//imgur.com/jGp3EMH)

Emma caught the flash of blonde hair as it went around the corner and she chased after it. 

“Hey, Kathryn,” she called.

She slowed and turned looking just as regal as Regina often did. “Emma. How are you?” she asked politely, but cautiously. 

“Oh, I’m fine and you?”

“Just fine,” she said, with a slight smile. “What can I do for you? Is someone in Slytherin giving you troubles?”

“Oh no. I can handle anything my Slytherins dish out.” Kathryn raised an eyebrow. “They are being good. I promise.”

“Okay, then,” she said, looking Emma up and down. “So, I’m guessing this is about Regina.” Emma grinned sheepishly. “Anything you have to ask me about Regina, I’d rather you ask Regina. You two need to talk.”

Emma’s smile fell. “We have talked.”

Kathryn rolled her eyes. “That’s not what I would call talking.”

“We talked after,” Emma said, rolling her eyes to the ceiling. “Look, it’s not really about Regina. It’s just that she suggested I try the adoption classes she’s been going to and I thought I might like to give them a go.” She shrugged. “I don’t want to get her hopes up any higher and I figured you would know where she went for them and stuff.”

Kathryn studied her for a second. “I do.” She shook her head. “But that qualifies as being about Regina. Ask her yourself.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously,” Kathryn said, grabbing her arm and pulling her into a nearby classroom. 

“I won't be your go between. You two need to put it all on the table. Be as open and honest about all of this as possible. I know both of you are stunted when it comes to relationships, but this is one of the most important decisions of your life. I assumed that was why you were taking your time giving her an answer.”

“It is.”

“Then stop being a child Emma Swan and grow up. You are in an adult relationship now. Act like it. Because if you are just afraid of being an actual adult you should just walk away now.”

“Feel better getting that out?” Emma asked leaning against the wall.

“Yes,” Kathryn said with a sigh. “I’m serious though. I’ve been talking you up to her and if I find out that you are dragging this out because you’re… I don’t know, still holding on to your irresponsible youth, I’m going to use all my Slytherin guile to destroy you.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “I’m not though.” She sighed. “I had that crisis when I was trying to figure out things with Regina the first time. I’m in it for the long haul.”

Kathryn nodded. “Okay. I’ll hold you to that. Go talk to her, Swan. Figure it out together.”

“Okay,” Emma sighed. “Thanks for sticking up for me or whatever. I’m trying.”

“Good.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

She skipped dinner that night and spent the early evening out on her broom. While she was up there, she decided the broom in the play was worth trying. She had really liked writing with Henry and it would give her a chance to work with him again. He learned quickly and it would add some excitement to the play having him up on the broom. It would let her get to know him better. 

She didn’t know what the appropriate thing was to do exactly with Henry and the flying. Regina wasn’t his mother yet, but it wouldn’t be right to exclude her from the decision, both as his possible mother and as the other person in charge of the play.

It was around the time Henry used to study with Regina so Emma stopped by the classroom first. It was dark and empty. She had stupidly hoped to find them both there. She wanted them there, laughing or working quietly so she could join them. 

She turned the lights on and looked around the orderly room. It matched Regina’s rooms in tone, but it lacked the personal touches she missed seeing all the time. There were no random books left open on the desk. She wanted to know what Regina was reading. She wanted to know what Henry was reading. 

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she pushed off the desk she had leaned on. 

The walk to Regina’s room felt longer than usual. It didn’t help that she got caught on a stair that decided to make use of her inattention to put her on the other side of the school.

Her hand hesitated at the door, but she eventually knocked. Regina opened the door looking more beautiful than Emma could remember. Her lipstick had faded over the day and she had removed her heels. It made her love her all the more. 

“Hi,” she said, shifting on her feet.

Regina smiled a little as she replied with her own, “Hi.”

“Can I come in?” Regina hesitated for a moment. “I just wanted to talk. I’m completely sober.”

Regina rolled her eyes to the ceiling, but kept her smile and let her in. 

“Would you like something to drink?” she asked, wryly. 

Emma sat down. “I think sober is better tonight.”

“Okay,” Regina said, eying her warily as she settled onto the sofa. Close, but not relationship close. “What do you need to discuss with me sober?”

“Henry’s been practicing a lot with the Quidditch team and he thought it would be fun to use a broom in the play.”

Regina’s eyes widened. “And you told him he could?”

“No. I wanted to think about it and you know I thought I should talk to you first.”

“Well thank you for that. Frankly, I think it’s terrible idea.” She leaned back in her chair and looked at her. “What do you think about it?”

“I thought it was a terrible idea at first too, but I started to think it would be good for him.”

“You think it would be good for him?”

“You know encouraging his interests… challenging him,” she said, looking at Regina with a bit of trepidation.

Regina nodded. “That makes sense. Do you think it would be safe? The ceiling of the Great Hall would be disorienting for a student on a broom.”

“We can figure something out.”

“I assume that you will personally train him.”

“That was my thought.”

Regina seemed to contemplate it. “We’ll have to change the set.” Emma let go of some of the stress she had been carrying about the idea at Regina’s apparent acceptance. 

“Your Evil Regals are more than up to the task. You trained them after all,” Emma said, smiling.

“They aren’t my Evil Regals anymore,” Regina replied with a little smile.

Emma smiled even bigger. “They still are. I’m pretty sure the whole cast and crew consider themselves Evil Regals now.”

“I don’t know about that,” she said, low and soft.

“I do,” Emma said just as softly.

“We can try it. No promises that we will actually do it.”

The irony wasn't lost on either of them. 

“That sounds good to me.”

They settled in and began discussing the changes they would need to make to incorporate the broom. 

As the conversation started to move into unrelated topics. Kathryn’s advice rang in her head and she knew the other woman was right. She needed to talk to Regina about it. Regina was pragmatic enough. Emma had to believe this wouldn’t make the disappointment any worse. They were in this together. She would have to trust in Regina.

“So,” Emma started. Regina looked over at her curiously. “Neal said he would go with me to an adoption class.”

Regina’s eyes widened slightly. “The adoption classes. You are going to go?”

“I want to at least try one out. Could you give me the details?”

“Of course.”

Regina went to her desk and flipped through some papers. Her lips were pursed and Emma recognized the stress signals. 

“You're making a face,” Emma said, leaning forward. “Is it okay? Do you not want me to go now?”

Regina turned to look at her. “Of course, I want you to go,” she said, folding her arms across her stomach.

Emma checked off the new sign of distress. “Then what is the problem?”

“Who said there was a problem?” Regina asked, as she rubbed her temples. 

“The throbbing vein in your forehead seemed to hint at it.”

Regina stopped her hands and glared.

“Sorry. Look, please just tell me what’s bothering you and let me fix it.”

Regina swallowed and looked at the ceiling for a long moment. She came back over to the sofa and sat back down with a heavy sigh. She looked over at Emma. “I just assumed that if you were going to go that I would go with you.”

“Oh.”

“Yes,” she said, looking away. “But I can see the merit of going with your friend. It was stupid of me to think you would want me there.”

“It's not stupid. I would like to go with you, but I didn't want to see you get your hopes up over it. I can go with you if you want.”

“No,” Regina said, shaking her head. “Go with Neal.”

“Is it going to bother you though? Because I won't if it’s going to bother you.” 

“You’re right though. I would get my hopes up if I was there with you. I'd be watching your reaction to what they said and that wouldn't be helpful. I can deal with my own issues about this.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that, but we can still go together.”

“I want you to go with Neal. I’ve been told the key to a good relationship is compromise and I want to compromise,” Regina said, playing with the cuff of her robe. “I want you to be comfortable when you are there.”

“I want that, too.”

Regina looked up and they smiled at each other.

“I just want to be there for you. I wanted to give you space to make the decision, but I want to be there for you if you want me to be.”

“I’d like that.” Emma reached out and took her hand.

“We’ve been so disconnected since this all began and I don’t want that anymore. I want you to talk to me. Just… will you come talk to me after?” Regina asked.

“I can do that,” Emma said, squeezing her hand.

“Thank you.”  
s  
“This sober thing is working out nicely for us.”

“We’ve been sober together plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but listen to us communicating.”

Regina laughed.

“It's just… I like this. Talking to you. I miss it.”

Regina looked down at their hands. “I miss the sex.” Emma laughed. 

“This is good, too,” Regina said, squeezing her hand.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma caught Henry as he was heading out to join the Quidditch team’s practice. She took him back to the castle, broom in hand.

The classroom she chose had a nice high ceiling that would serve nicely as a simulation for the Great Hall. It didn’t have the wonky ceiling, but she would need permission to be able to teach flying there and he would need some work before he was ready for that. 

“Alright, kid. Let’s see what you know,” she said.

“In here?” 

“Why else would I have you bring your broom inside?” she asked his with a lopsided smile.

He widened his eyes, but he straddled the broom and placed his hand in the correct spot. He looked to her and she nodded her approval. He pushed off the ground and hovered a few feet off the ground.

“Looking good. Alright, now I want you fly up and touch the ceiling with the tip of your fingers.”

He tilted the broom up and sped upwards much too fast. His palm slapped the ceiling and he looked down at her with a disappointed look. 

“I messed up.”

“You were a bit too fast. You do that during the play you could crash right into the set or take out a student.”

He slipped a little on the broom and the hand on the ceiling shifted back to the broom. “Should I come back down?”

“Nah. We can fix that.” 

She hopped on her own broom and flew up to him. She shifted his hands. “Here watch me.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon chasing her old snitch around the room. By the time the light was starting to fade from the room, Henry had gotten a much better hold on his acceleration and turns. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

When Regina got to the rehearsal space, she found everyone fawning over Jefferson’s extravagant ballgowns. Most of his designs had seemed impossible and she had nearly made him chuck them all, but then Ashley stepped in. With a miraculous touch, she somehow managed to pull them off. Her enchanted needles scurried around her like little mice most days even during her study periods. 

Regina had been so impressed with her work she had gone to Flitwick to commend him on his teaching. He had laughed and told her that Ashley had developed the technique all on her own. They even used the charm on the mice for the Cinderella scenes. 

The costumes Ashley designed were more sturdy and practical than Jefferson’s. Emma was holding the bright red Prince Charming costume that was the pride of her collection up to her chest. It looked like it would fit her and Regina couldn’t help the thoughts that flooded her head. She caught Emma’s eye and Emma’s smile turned wolfish. She could feel a blush rush up her neck and quickly turned to find Henry.

Emma had spent hours coming up with the choreographed flying and practicing with Henry. Regina had watched as Emma had bounced up and down on the platforms they built to ensure they were safe. Henry had practiced parts of it, but this would be the first run thorough of the whole play.

Henry’s hands were white around his broom and everyone’s eyes were on him as he moved to take his spot. Emma had assured her that he was ready, but she was still worried. She trusted Emma’s skills as a teacher, but Emma didn’t teach the flying lessons.

She leaned against a desk and took a deep breath as he took off. Emma stood up close to the action shouting encouragement and monitoring the action.

Henry managed his lines better than she would have thought and looked adorable standing on top of one of the platforms they built him on the fortified castle. She looked forward to seeing him in the costume Ashley had designed for him. 

There were a lot of line slip ups and some of the more technical aspects of the stage weren’t complete, but the progress they’d made was remarkable. Before too long, Regina pushed off the desk and joined Emma in advising the activity. She had to scold Mary Margaret for looking at her and not Ursula who was playing her step mother. It felt like an apology.

Her favorite scene was still the gender swapped Rapunzel. The students stuck a Achie up a tree. He had a rope wrapped around his neck and Ingrid thought it was his hair. She was a quiet girl and it amused everyone to see her play a rough and tumble Princess that climbs a tree and rescues her Prince.

Emma looked back at Regina with a toothy grin when Henry swooped down and landed without even a stumble at the end of the run through. It was so proud and full of light. Regina couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips. Somewhere along the lines it had stopped hurting. Emma might not be her partner in mothering Henry, but she trusted that she would still be there for both of them. If it came to that, it would be good enough.

Regina hovered over Emma as she finished cleaning up. “I have some grading to do. Will you join me?”

Emma looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I thought we could continue with that talking thing you liked.”

Emma smiled. “Sounds good to me. Let me just finish here.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“Your sister!” Ruby said as she pushed past the door. She stopped at the sight of Emma lounging on the couch surrounded by papers. Emma looked up with a smile. 

Ruby looked between the two of them and tilted her head.

“Um, so are you guys back together?” 

Regina rolled her eyes as Emma shifted uncomfortably.

“We’re working,” Emma said, “and talking.”

“You two talking?”

“People that like each other talk,” Regina said.

“You like each other?” Ruby asked with a raised eyebrow.

They both rolled their eyes.

“So Zelena?” Regina asked with her arms crossed.

“Changing the subject. I see how it is,” Ruby said, pushing Emma over to make space. She patted the minuscule space in between her and Emma for Regina. Regina shook her head with another eye roll and took a seat in her large wingback armchair. Emma and Rudy pouted at her.

“So, what is my crazy sister doing to you?”

“Flirting!” 

Emma shifted onto on her foot to stare at Ruby as Regina started laughing. Emma grabbed Ruby’s arm. “You love her! Tell me you are going for it.”

“I love her in a nerdy fangirl way! It’s different.”

“How do you even know her?” Regina asked, leaning forward.

“Um, we met. When she came to talk to the students,” Ruby said, looking away rather obviously. 

Regina narrowed her eyes. “When?”

“So…. we’ve been writing each other and now she wants me to come to London to see her show and go for dinner.”

“When did you meet her?” Regina asked again.

Ruby smiled crookedly. “We had brunch with Kathryn,” Ruby said.

Regina pursed her lips. “Did you?”

“Yeah, so London…”

“And what did you discuss at this brunch with Kathryn and my dear sister?”

Emma snorted. “You should go,” she said.

Ruby looked at her confused. “Go to London or go away from here? It was just brunch I swear. No plots were hatched.”

“London,” Emma said with a laugh.

“Really?”

“I agree with Emma,” Regina said, “Even if it does increase the chance you two will actually hatch plans. My sister could use someone like you in her life. She usually has terrible taste in the people she dates.”

“So, you think she is serious?” Ruby asked, leaning forward.

“She knows we are friends. My sister knows better than to mess around with my friends,” Regina said. “Are you serious about her or is this just a crush?”

“I didn’t tell you that we were talking because I thought I was just letting my crush get out of hand, but now I feel like there could be something there. Something real. She’s funny,” Ruby said, looking at her friend. “Regina, I really like her.” She let out a heavy sigh.

Regina smiled. “Then, I wish you the best,” she shook her head, “and luck.”

“You’re going to need luck,” Emma said with a laugh. “That woman can be scary.”

“You’re one to talk,” Ruby said, looking toward Regina and back.

“I would resent that remark, if I hadn’t carefully cultivated my reputation as the Evil Queen.” Regina crossed her legs suggestively and leaned back, resting both arms on the armrests. 

Ruby coughed. “Alright. Well that’s my sign to go. I should leave you guys to it,” Ruby said with a wink as she unfolded herself from the couch.

“Actually, I’m going to head out as well,” Emma said. Regina nodded her head in understanding.

“Really?” Ruby blurted out.

“Yes really. It was a long day,” she said, standing, “We did our full run through.” Regina stood as well and led them to the door. She squeezed Emma’s arm gently with a look that was soft and little bit sad.

“I’ll see you both in the morning,” she said, before shutting the door behind them.

Ruby eyed her carefully as they headed toward their rooms. “So you guys are really over?”

“No,” Emma replied without looking at her friend. “She’s still giving me time.”

“How much time do you need? It’s a yes or no answer.”

“You know it’s more complicated then that.”

“I guess. Just… it’s been weeks and you guys are totally meant to be.”

“I think I deserve a few weeks to figure out the rest of my life. Meant to be or not.”

Ruby nodded. 

“I’m going to an adoption class with Neal tomorrow night.”

“Oh? Not Regina.”

“Yeah. She wasn’t exactly thrilled by that.”

“I can imagine.”

“I just didn’t want her to be trying to judge my reactions the whole time.”

“I get that.” They reached Emma’s room. Ruby pulled her in for a hug. “Good luck.” Emma held her tight.

“Thank you.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“So, that went well,” Neal said as they walked down the damp London street toward his home.

“Sure,” Emma said, shoving her hands in her pocket.

He looked her over. “Except that one part.”

“Yeah, that one part.”

“You want to talk about it?”

She shrugged and he gave her time.

“Some people just shouldn’t be parents,” she eventually huffed. 

He slung his arm around her shoulders. “You and I both know that.”

“I would be a better mother than that woman.”

“You would, Emma. You would,” he said, patting her shoulder.

“Do I have to go back? Should I go back?”

“I don't know if you are allowed to go back,” he said with a laugh.

“Oh god. What if I need to go back. I have to tell Regina what happened. She wants to talk about it.”

“Tell her the truth. That woman had it coming. Regina will agree with you.”

Emma chuckled. “She probably would have done worse.”

“Yeah. She would have made her cry. Maybe next time you should bring her,” he said, elbowing her playfully. “I'll still come. I'd like to see her make a pissy Muggleborn hater cry.”

“I almost made her cry,” Emma said, kicking the concrete.

“Psh, she dismissed you as soon as you told her what subject you teach. A Potions Master would have brought her to her knees.”

“I can't believe no one else said anything.”

“The teacher tried. That woman just wasn't hearing it. Prejudice runs deep. That woman just wants a baby anyway. She's not in it to take in older kids.”

“I hope she adopts a squib.”

“Emma.”

“Yeah, no I don't wish that on her kid. She'd probably try to send them back. Well, at least Regina is a shoe in to get Henry if that's her competition.”

“I don't know. Everyone knows about that Evil Queen nickname. She's fighting an uphill battle.”

“That slip up is going to haunt me forever.”

“That’s what you get for working with kids.”

“Not everyone can get fancy bank jobs,” she grumbled. “I told you we started Henry on his broom for the play right?”

“Yeah. How’s that going?”

“Great. He’s great. Really advanced for his age. I usually hate when parents say that to me, but in his case it’s true. He tries really hard. Soaks up everything like a sponge.”

“A hard life can do that to you.”

“Yeah.”

“You sound like you’ve decided.”

Emma bit her lip. “I think so.”

He bumped her shoulder. “Care to fill me in?”

“I’m still not ready.”

“I hate to be debby-downer, but you might want to give her an answer soon. If she doesn’t get accepted you coming around saying whatever you have to say might not be all that great.”

“If she doesn’t get accepted than nothing is going to be all that great.”

“Very true.”

“She’s going to be accepted,” Emma said, staring forward. 

“Yeah,” he said, looking at her. “She will.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a quick edit

“So, I may have gotten kicked out of the adoption class.”

“What?” Regina asked, spinning around.

“There was this lady.”

“And?” 

Emma could hear the exasperation in her voice and she really wished she didn’t have to tell her. She dropped her voice lower. “She said that Muggleborns were a too much for her to handle with all their confusing ways.”

“Oh,” Regina softly. “I think I see where this is going.”

“The teacher tried to change the topic, but the woman just wouldn’t let it go. She just kept on going about how strange Muggleborns are and how much extra work they must be. She even tried to say they belonged with Muggle families as if they were something to be ashamed about. I had to say something. Then she wouldn’t listen and we… disagreed.”

“You disagreed,” Regina repeated.

Emma looked down. “I may have called her some names.”

Regina sighed and looked up at the ceiling and the floating lights.

Emma threw up her hands. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“Perhaps handle it like an adult?”

Emma scoffed. “You would have done the exact same thing so stop acting like you wouldn’t have.”

“Well, we don’t know because I wasn’t there,” Regina snapped back.

“So, it’s going to be like that then?” Emma asked in disbelief, moving in front of Regina. “Really?”

Regina shook her head. “No.” Regina shoved off the table she had been leaning against and past Emma. “No. I’m sorry.” She rubbed her temples and turned back toward Emma.

“Because you said you were okay with it and I believed you.”

“I am okay with it. I just…”

“What? If you are okay with it than what?”

Regina paced the floor in front of Emma. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone.”

“I wasn’t alone. Neal was there.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“And what you keep me in check and Neal encourages my childish ways?”

“No. It’s not like that.”

“What is it like then, Regina?” Emma asked angrily before taking a deep breath. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you.”

“I don’t want to fight either.”

“That’s what we do though isn’t it? Fight?”

“No.” Regina stopped pacing.

“Do you really think we can raise a child together, Regina?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Seriously?” Emma asked.

“You make me feel like I could do anything. I want to share everything with you.” Regina moved in front of her and took hold of her face. “I’m not upset with you. I’m upset that you didn’t have as good of experience as I did. That some stupid bigot had to ruin the experience for you. I’m upset that I wasn’t there to fix it.”

“Oh.” Emma wiped at her eyes. “You’re such a mom.”

Regina rolled her eyes and released her face. “You are a child.”

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“Jesus fuck! What the hell are you doing in my fireplace?” Zelena shrieked as she pulled her robe together.

“I needed to talk to you about something important and you weren’t answering the more normal ways. What else should have I done?”

“I don’t know? Wait until a decent hour?” Zelena growled back. Her face softened momentarily. “Are you hurt?”

“No. I…” Regina started before stopping when she heard a noise from Zelena’s side of the connection.

“Zelena are you talking to yourself?” came an all to familiar voice from the other room. Regina craned her head to see as Ruby walked into the room wearing nothing but her underwear. “Come back to bed,” Ruby said as Zelena dropped her head into her hands. Ruby’s head turned to the fire and she jumped back in shock. “Regina! Fuck! What the hell!” she cried as she tried to cover her mostly bare body.

“I take it that tonight was the big date night?” Regina asked. “I didn’t think you would put out so early. You always seemed like the third date kind of girl.”

Ruby’s jaw opened and closed for a moment before she got her bearings and glared. “Really Regina? At least we had the decency to make it to a bedroom and not taint a classroom with our business.”

“Fair point.” Regina smiled as she conceded. Ruby crossed her arms across her bra covered chest. Zelena grabbed a blanket from her love seat and draped it over Ruby’s shoulders.

“Will you just tell me what you are you doing in my fucking fireplace so you can leave?”

Regina considered it for a moment, before saying, “I’ll tell you later.” She winked. “You two should get back to your evening.”

“Seriously? After all of this? I thought you said it was important,” Zelena said.

“It is. Very.”

“Oh my God! Is it about the adoption? Did it go through?” Ruby asked, crouching down by the fireplace.

“Ruby, this is clearly not the time,” Regina said, eyes drifting down.

“But… I want to know,” Ruby protested with a pout, bouncing on the tips of her toes.

“I can see down your bra,” Regina drawled.

Ruby fell back with a muttered curse and pulled the blanket tight around her shoulders.

“We can talk tomorrow after the play rehearsal. Bring Zelena.” She glanced over at her sister. “I assume you can take a little time out of your busy schedule to see your little sister for an important conversation.”

Zelena rolled her eyes. “I suppose if I must.”

“Then I will see you both tomorrow night. Three Broomsticks?”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Zelena said, waving her hand dismissively. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

The rehearsals were intense for everyone especially the first years. Preparation for the final exams had everyone frantic. Belle set up little study groups to make sure they were getting their work done, but she had her own work to focus on. Eventually, she took Emma and Regina aside and explained that Rumple had said he wanted to help if he could. She assured them that he had turned a new leaf under Belle’s friendship. She told them that he wanted to make it up to the Drama club if he could. He was one of the brightest students in the school and it seemed like a waste to turn him away. 

He turned out to be an amazing asset. Without Hook and Milah around, Emma could actually stand him.

The enclosed space of the Hall was tricky to navigate and Emma wished Henry had a few more years of experience whenever he made a beginner’s mistake. She got permission from McGonagall to use the Great Hall and she dragged him through as many of the maneuvers as they could without the actual set. Henry had improved immensely, but he still made her nervous around all the moving parts.

It was why she was watching him so carefully when Anna’s spell went wrong awry. Regina was on the other side of the rehearsal space trying to get Ingrid to put more spirit into her performance when the tree careened into Henry and knocked him clear off his broom.

As Henry fell, Emma’s hand moved quicker than her brain. Her wand was out and with a swish and a flick his dramatic fall slowed. She lowered him carefully before running over and enveloping him in her arms. It was entirely unprofessional and she knew if it had been anyone else she wouldn’t be hugging them, but she couldn’t stop herself. She’d opened herself up to the idea that he would be her kid and there was no taking it back. 

“You can let me go now, Professor,” Henry said into her robes, “I’m okay.”

She pulled away. “Sorry.”

Regina was standing there stunned before she suddenly turned and left the room. Henry’s brow furrowed and Emma patted him on the shoulder. 

“I’ll be right back.”

Regina was leaning against the wall outside the classroom, taking deep breaths. 

“Are you okay?” Emma stooped down in front of her and peered up at her.

“Not right now, Emma,” Regina said, turning her head away.

“Regina.”

“Please.”

“He’s okay, Regina.”

“I know,” Regina snapped at her, meeting her eyes with terrified look. “He can't ride that broom. We need to go back to the original plan. It’s a hazard!”

Emma put both hands on Regina’s cheeks. “This whole school is a hazard. Your students make potions that can explode if they stir them too hard. We live next to a forest with monsters.”

“I can’t deal with this right now,” Regina said, whipping her head away.

“Okay.” Emma took a step back. “What can I do for you?”

Regina let out a heavy sigh and mumbled something.

“What?”

Regina cleared her throat. “They said yes.”

“Who said yes?”

“The adoption. It’s going through.”

“That’s amazing!”

Regina let out a sob. Emma gathered her into her arms. 

“It’s okay,” Emma said, holding her tightly. “It’s really happening. Henry is going to be your son.” 

“I’m what?” Henry asked from the door. Both women turned to him in shock.

“Henry,” Regina managed to get out as she wiped at her eyes.

“I’m going to be your son? What does that mean?” He looked from Regina to Emma with confusion and little bit of anger.

“Come here, Henry,” Regina said, leading him out into the hallway with a hand on his lower back. She shut the door behind him with a glare at the students watching with rapt interest. 

Regina tried to meet his eyes, but he looked away. “This isn’t the way I wanted to talk to you about this.”

“Talk about what? I don’t understand.” His eyes darted over to Emma’s in accusation. “There’s no way you are going to be my mother.”

“There is, Henry. Over the last few months, I’ve been trying to get approval to adopt you.”

“But Professor Swan said…”

“I know what she said, but she was mistaken. I want to be your mother more than anything. If you’ll have me of course.”

“I…” He looked between them again. “I don’t know,” he said as he turned his head. Regina’s face fell.

“That’s okay, Henry. I know it’s a lot to take in.” 

“You’re not my mother,” he said shaking his head, “You can’t be.” He pushed past her and ran down the hall without looking back.

Emma moved to go after him, but Regina’s hand stopped her.

“Don’t,” Regina said taking a deep steadying breath.

“I should go after him.”

“He just needs time. Let’s finish up here and we’ll find him together.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. He needs some time to wrap his head around it. It conflicts with everything he knew.” 

“Did they teach you that in those fabulous adoption classes?” Emma asked as she followed her back to the classroom. 

Regina just laughed as the entered. Everyone quickly averted their eyes, but it was quiet. Much too quiet. Regina began barking orders and everyone jumped back to business. She saw Mary Margaret whispering to Regina, but Regina just shook her head.

As soon as Regina was distracted, Emma slipped out the door to find Henry. She had made this mess and she needed to be the one to fix it.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

Emma found Henry looking into the courtyard. There were other students milling around, studying and enjoying the warm Spring day. They had given him a wide berth. His desire to be left alone clear. She sidled up beside him without a word and watched with him.

After a few moments, he turned to her and said, “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t. At the time, I didn’t know.”

“You made me doubt myself and Professor Mills. She was really sad. I could tell.”

“I know and I’m sorry. Trust me when I found out, I wanted to run and tell you right away, but she didn’t know if it was a sure thing yet. We didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“I would have liked to know there was a chance and that she wanted me. I’d have liked to know she wanted me.”

“I’m sorry, kid.”

He shook his head. “I trusted you.”

“I know and I was wrong.”

“Okay.” He said slowly, unused to adults admitting they were wrong. He turned back to the courtyard. “She’s really going to be my mom?”

“If you still want her to be.”

“Holy shit.”

“Hey now. Language.”

“Sorry, but wow. I wouldn’t even have to change my name,” he said. Emma chuckled. 

The distinct sound of heels on stone caught their attention and they both looked up at Regina with sheepish smiles. She raised an eyebrow at them.

“There you are,” she said.

She glanced over at the other students that were whispering nearby. They silently gathered their belongings and moved out to the grass and the lake. It seemed Regina’s Evil Queen persona still carried some weight.

“Here we are,” Emma said. Regina glared at her a second before putting on a smile for Henry.

He smiled back at her. Emma stepped aside and Regina moved past her. “Henry. I’m sorry.” Henry looked down and she crouched down and tilted his head up with her fingers. He met her eyes slowly. She could see the tears filling his eyes.

“You want to be my mom? Really?” he asked as the tears started falling.

She nodded. “I do. Very much,” she said, wiping away some of the tears. “I know some people see me as the Evil Queen, but I thought maybe you could see me as mom. Do you think you could do that? Some day maybe?”

He rushed forward and hugged her tight. Regina tears were flowing now, too. 

Emma stood back and watched, disconnected from the moment. 

She knew she should probably leave them, but she couldn’t seem to move. All of her old fears were still there as she watched them, but they had slowly been replaced with something else. Desire. Desire to be a part of their little family. Regina and Henry sat on the ledge talking quietly as Emma leaned against a pillar. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

“That was scary,” Emma said as they eased on to the sofa.

Regina leaned back. “It’s all scary.”

“It really is. You did good.”

Regina rolled her head over to look at her. “You think?”

“Yeah. You did. Henry is lucky to have you.”

Regina let out a deep breath. “I hope so.” She looked over at Emma tiredly. “He’d be lucky to have you, too.”

Emma chuckled. “I don’t know about that.”

“I can’t say that I approve of you going after him after I told you to wait,” Regina said. Emma winced and tried a charming smile that Regina rolled her eyes at. “But you did good, too. He needed you.”

“Only because I was the one that fucked things up first.”

“You didn’t know.” Regina rolled onto her shoulder to look at her properly.

“There is a lot of things I don’t know,” Emma said.

Regina dropped her head onto the couch. “I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I know.”

“It’s okay to make mistakes.”

“Not with a child.”

“Parents make mistakes all the time. My mother made a lot of them and I am still okay. As long as we love him enough.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“What? Loving him?”

“What if I don’t love him enough?”

“Oh, Emma,” Regina said, scooting over and taking her hands. “You already do.” 

“How do you know?” Emma met her eyes. “What if you are just seeing what you want to?”

“You said it yourself. I am Henry’s mother,” Regina said, reaching out and touching her cheek. “I know.”

Emma pulled her hands away and slumped forward. She couldn’t help herself as the tears started to fall. Regina slid her arm over her shoulder, pulling her close. Emma fought against her for a moment, but Regina didn’t let go. Eventually, she gave in and tucked her head into Regina’s neck as she began to gently stroke her shoulder. She took deep breaths to try and stop crying, but then Regina ran her fingers through her hair and said, “Let it out” and the dam broke further. 

Regina pulled a box of tissues closer as she started sniffling rather pathetically. She blew her nose while Regina rubbed her back in soothing circles.

“You really have this mom thing down already,” she said with a sniff. “Are you just a natural? Cause I don’t know how you do it.”

“I’ve been teaching the first years for a long time.” She shrugged. “They cry. You get used to it.”

Emma rubbed her nose with a tissue. “So, I’m like a first year?”

Regina laughed. “No, but those snotty first years taught me a lot of the things my mother never did.”

Emma smiled. “Makes me glad that I don’t have to deal with the first years.”

“They aren’t so bad.”

“No. They aren’t,” Emma said. She sighed and leaned into Regina again. “I do love him.”

“I know you do, Emma,” she said, stroking her hair. “I know you do.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“This is going to work out in the end, right?”

“It will.”

“You know you used to be a lot more pessimistic. When did you join the hope committee?” Emma asked into Regina’s hair.

Regina smiled. “When I met Henry.”

“That’s a good answer.”

Regina pulled her time piece out of an inner pocket in her robe and glanced at it with a heavy sigh. Emma smiled at the old reminder. 

“I have to get ready for dinner.”

Emma nodded and started to get up.

“Do you want to come with us?” Regina asked. “I’m sure Henry would appreciate having you there.”

“It seems like more of a family thing.”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Ruby is going to be there.”

“Yeah, but she’s as good as his aunt at this point,” Emma said with a laugh. She had heard all about Regina’s midnight visit on the way to Regina’s rooms.

Regina didn’t laugh. “Not really, Emma,” she replied seriously as Emma’s smile faded. “If you don’t want to go, then just say so.”

“I’m sorry. I just need some time to think.”

“I understand,” Regina said as she got up. Emma could read the tension in her shoulders. She was so sick of being the one that put it there, but she really wasn’t ready to sit down to family dinner. 

She got up and pulled Regina into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Regina said into her shoulder. “I love you.”

Emma went back to her rooms and collapsed onto her bed with a huff. Regina and Henry were down in the town together for the first time as a family and she was alone in her rooms by her own choice. She was a fool. 

There was nothing but fear holding her back from having her own little family. Her heart was in it. It was telling her quite clearly now. Her head seemed to be finally catching up as she laid there. If she didn’t push past her fear now, she would be stuck on the outside looking in. Regina said she’d still be welcome in their lives, but she knew they would move on and she would be left alone. 

She didn’t want her choice to be a selfish one. Her loneliness didn't compare to their hurt. Regina may have chosen her, but Henry didn’t. Maybe she was overcomplicating everything, but life was complicated. 

She wondered if Neal had been right. Would Henry really be missing out not having her in his life? It didn’t seem true, not with Regina as his mother. Regina never went half way on anything. She was going to make an awesome mom. What did Emma have that would even compare? Sure she was an orphan too, but Henry had always been different than her. He believed in a happy ending. She didn’t want to take that away from him. Not again. 

They got along well now with her teaching him, but she didn’t know what would it be like outside the classroom. The transition from student to son wouldn’t be easy. She couldn’t be sure if she was just running away from this all because it would be hard. Having other people’s happiness rely on her strength and resolve… It would be hard either way. Cowardice. She wanted to be doing it for the right reason.

Her image of her future seemed so empty without the two of them in it though. She honestly didn’t know if she could go back to her old life. If she said no, she wouldn’t be able to stay. 

She could start over somewhere else, but what would there be to start? She had the family she wanted right here. She had loved Regina for over a decade. No one had come close to meaning as much to her as she did in all the years since.

Maybe the adoption classes were worth another shot. She wanted to say yes. 

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

A couple weeks had passed and Emma had gotten in contact with the teacher of the adoption class. She had sent her to the Muggles support group for former foster kids that were thinking about adopting. There were obvious discrepancies to their life experiences, but it helped to talk to people from similar backgrounds as her own that were going through the same thing.

It felt immensely gratifying to know she wasn’t alone. She knew in her heart that she hadn’t been alone in this. She had Regina and Neal and Ruby, but these people understood on a different level. Neal had been surrounded by love for the last decade. He had called her a coward. These people let her have her fear. 

She even found a wizard in the group that was a lot older than her who was going to adopt a newborn. He was absolutely terrified. They went out for drinks after one of the meetings to talk about some of the more specific wizarding issues they were going to face and had shared some laughs.

As she had grown up, she had learned that you shouldn’t base your expectations on how something is going to go on just one experience. She had based her entire love life on Regina’s rejection and it hadn’t been healthy or good for her. 

She had wondered if she was doing the same thing now, letting the rejection of her youth convince her that she was going to do the same to Henry. A few of the other people in the group had the same concerns and after hearing them talk about it it was easier for her to talk. As much as she had balked at the idea of therapy, it had helped. After the third meeting, she knew what she needed to do. 

She had known for awhile what she wanted to do, but now she actually felt a measure of confidence about the decision that she hadn’t felt before. 

And people said Muggles had no value to society. 

With her busy schedule, the end of the year approached in the blink of an eye. Actually being proactive about the situation had made it easier to deal with and she didn’t have as much time to spend dwelling as she had earlier in the year. 

Henry and Regina were closer than they ever had been before. Now that he knew and the adoption was being finalized, he was back to studying with her. It wasn’t every day anymore, but they made time for each other. There was tea together before rehearsals and often Emma would catch them with their heads together during down time. It made her happy to see that Regina wasn’t alone anymore and even happier to see her fantasies lived out through Henry.

 

SQSQSQSQSQ

 

As the lights went up on the last night of the play, Regina and Emma were side by side with large proud smiles on their faces. This time around there was no secret plot to poison anyone and even with the stress of the performance everyone was in good spirits. Regina had handed off the reigns to Drue and now they were simply watching and guiding from the sidelines.  


The first two performances had gone spectacularly and a teacher from the School of Wizarding Acting was in the audience with Zelena hoping to poach the next great star. 

As Henry ran up to start their last show, he stopped and threw himself into Regina’s arms. She hugged him tight and kissed the top of his head before pushing him out on to the stage. His smile was real as he launched into his lines and Emma’s heart felt like it would burst.

Emma looked back at Regina as Henry drew the first laugh out of the audience. She looked so happy and at peace with the world. It was still a new look on her and Emma found that it suited her.

“You know I liked my life before you kissed me,” Emma whispered. 

Regina glanced at her before returning her attention back to the play. “Hmm?”

“I liked my life even more with you in it.” Emma looked out at Henry in his little costume on the broom saying the lines she wrote with him.

“I think,” she started and stopped, “No. I know. I would love my life with Henry in it, too. My life was easy and comfortable and once I had you I thought I had everything I would ever need.” She squeezed her hands together. “I’m still scared. I’m not going to lie, but I want to do this with you. I can’t make promises that I’ll do a good job, but I want to try.”

Regina looked over at her with an unreadable expression. 

“That’s my answer.”

“You are answering right now? In the middle of our play?” Regina said, watching the play with hawk eyes still fearful that something would go wrong.

Emma slipped her hand into Regina’s. “Yes. I think this the perfect example of the good we can do together.” Regina glanced over at her again. “We’ll go slow, right?”

Emma felt Regina squeeze her hand. “Slow as a glacier,” Regina said with a smile. 

She looked out at Henry. “Well, not that slow. I… I’d like to be his mom some day. Not, you know, when he’s completely grown up and just wants sex advice and stuff.”

Regina winced. “He’s only a first year.”

“He’s nearly a second year, now.”

“He is.” Regina said, watching the play. 

Emma grinned and bumped her shoulder against Regina’s. Regina grinned and bumped her back. 

“You are really in this,” Regina said. 

“Yes.” 

Regina looked around to make sure no one was in earshot before leaning in and whispering, “You know after this I am dragging you back to my room and I am going to fuck you two ways to Tuesday.”

“Oh, yeah? What about the cast party?”

“We can make an appearance,” she said, as Lance ran up to take his place by the edge of the stage. She grabbed him and straightened his shirt before letting him rush out to start the second half, “A short one. Then you are all mine.”

Emma grinned at her. “All yours. I like the sound of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be an epilogue. Thank you for all the support.


	25. Chapter 25

Epilogue

“Emma,” Regina moaned. The early morning sun streamed in through the window. Her hands moved down to the head between her legs and tangled in blonde hair. She hated mornings, but if she had to get up early this was her preferred way to start the day. 

Emma climbed back up and snuggled into her side, pressing kisses to her shoulder. Regina kissed her head before she pushed her off. 

“Strip and get on all fours.”

Emma’s eyes widened, but Regina knew she understood. Regina needed to start this day in control. 

Emma quickly removed her underwear and the thin tank top she had slept in. Regina sat up, leaning back on her hands to watch as Emma lowered herself onto her hands and knees in front of her. Emma looked over her shoulder at her expectantly. She stretched slow and cat-like, enjoying the little whimper it drew from Emma. “Head forward,” she snapped as she got onto her knees behind her. 

She placed her palm on the small of Emma’s back and lazily traced her spine with her fingers. “When Mary Margaret corners me today to ask when baby Lance is going to have a playmate, I’m going to remember you just like this.” She pressed up against her and leaned over her. “On all fours and so wet for me.”

“Don’t talk about Mary Margaret in bed,” Emma grumbled.

“You invited her,” Regina biting the flesh between Emma’s neck and shoulder. She soothed the sting with her tongue and slipped her hand down to stroke a thigh. Emma leaned forward and pushed her ass up higher into her hips. 

Her fingers slipped between slick lips and Emma groaned her approval. She remembered the first time she had taken Emma from behind. None of the women she had found herself in bed with had ever let her have them from this angle and it had been a lesson in errors doing everything upside down. She found she loved the submissive and surprisingly intimate nature of the position.

She slid her fingers in. Emma’s muscles grabbed at them immediately and she curled her fingers as she pulled back slowly. She loved starting slow even when Emma was ready for fast and hard. She’d had too many one night stands over the years and she still relished the opportunity to move slow. One night stands were rushed and impersonal. They were about getting off and too often lacked a real human connection. She hadn’t really cared about that until Emma, but then Emma had always been personal.

Her fingers set a steady pace. Emma’s moans signaled her to push faster. She loved watching Emma’s strong arms tremble and struggle to hold her up as she gave into the pleasure Regina drew out of her. She leaned into her and pressed kisses along her spine as she used her hips for leverage. She reached around and pressed fast circles against Emma’s clit  
.  
“I love you so much,” she grunted out and she felt Emma fall over the edge. Emma’s arms finally gave out and they collapsed on the bed in a mess of limbs. Emma rolled and pulled her into her chest. She happily buried her hands in the tangle of blonde curls and tilted her face up for a kiss. Emma met her with a tired kiss. 

“I love you, too. Can we sleep more?”

“No.”

 

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Regina bustled around the mansion for the rest of the morning, wand out and waving. Henry would be home by 3pm. His friend’s parents knew about the party and were under strict orders for secrecy. Emma watched her fondly, but kept getting shooed away.

It was now officially official. Henry was now her son as well. It had been a remarkable feeling. She had told herself that it was just a piece of paper. Henry loved her and she loved him. He was her son. It didn’t matter if it was official, but when she saw the paper she had burst into tears.

When she finally made the decision, it had been a long time coming. She’d been as much his mom over the last few years as Regina and it was only in legal terms she wasn’t.

For awhile she worried it would take something away from his relationship with Regina, but when she confessed her worries to Regina, her love had just pulled her into a hug and told her to stop worrying.

Henry never pushed her to adopt him which she always wondered about. That first summer, they had done what Regina had said. They took it slow. Henry came to see her as a friend and ally beyond just his teacher. They talked a lot over the years about what their relationship meant and they actually attended some counseling sessions together as a family.

They had to rebuild a lot of the trust she had lost and it was slow. It hurt for awhile, watching his eyes dart to Regina for confirmation when she had said something. Building up his trust was an effort in love. She still couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t ruin it all over again. 

Regina had decided to throw a party to celebrate. Henry had been so busy all summer that they easily managed to hide the preparations from him. He had mentioned in passing that he’d never had a surprise party before. They had thought about planning one for him during a Hogsmeade weekend, but at his age it would be remarkably uncool to have teachers at a birthday party. 

Regina came up with the idea to surprise him with this. He’d have to have his mothers here for this. Emma thought Regina had been secretly planning it for her as well. There had been no surprise parties for Emma growing up either. Not that this party was a surprise for her. Regina had gone over every detail of the preparations with her over and over. But Emma saw the softness around Regina’s eyes and knew Regina was doing this for her as well. The menu certainly reflected her tastes.

It was Henry’s fourth summer at the mansion and Emma’s third. Half way through their first official year together, Minerva sat them down and forced them into sharing a room. They decided last year to purchase a little cottage in Hogsmeade when he graduated. They had thought about doing it sooner, but neither really liked the idea of leaving Henry alone in the castle.

 

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Henry’s face when he came through the back door blew her away. He looked so amazed. She remembered the lost little boy from Diagon Alley and she could easily see how much had changed since that summer day so long ago. He didn’t look astonished at the love. He just looked so happy.

His eyes took in the large banner that flashed the news of the adoption and he quickly launched himself into Emma’s arms. Regina smiled so brightly as she took in the two loves of her life so happy and full of joy. As endless as the preparations had seemed, she knew it was all worth it just for this moment. Seeing her two orphans surrounded with love and the people that cared about them meant everything.

The yard was crowded with people, young and old. It amazed her how many people she had in her life now. A few years ago, it would have been just Kathryn, Fred and Zelena. Now, her yard was full of people that cared about her and her little family.

After the Mary Margaret debacle, she had kept her students at a very far distance. Now her former students sought her out to tell her about all the things they had accomplished since they’d left the castle behind. She felt more proud of her work than she had since she was young and new.

It amazed her how soon Henry would be leaving them, too. It seemed like he had just come into her life and now he would be leaving. 

He turned to her after receiving a hug from Mary Margaret with a look on his face that concerned her. She wrapped him in her arms tightly and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I thought it would bother you,” Henry said, quietly into her chest. 

“We’ve talked about it. I told you it wouldn’t,” she said, pulling back to study his face.

“I know, but I thought you were just saying that because it was what you thought I wanted to hear,” he said, meeting her eyes.

“This makes me very happy, Henry. Emma is just as much a part of your life as mine and I wanted you to know that,” she said, taking his hand. “We should have done it a long time ago, but we never married and well…”

“I wouldn’t mind if you got married,” he said, with a sly smile. “Or had another kid.”

Regina groaned. “Tell Mary Margaret she needs to let it go.” 

He grinned. “I think she has your wedding planned down to the flowers already.”

“All those baby hormones are driving her insane,” Regina said, rolling her eyes.

Henry shrugged. “She just cares about you guys.”

“I know,” she said, looking at the woman across the party. “It’s unbearable.” He chuckled and put his arm around her shoulders. He had already reached her height and she knew he’d probably tower over her when his growth spurt had finished. 

“She’s part of our family though, isn’t she?” he asked, thoughtfully watching his friend interact with his blonde mother.

“She is.” Regina smiled.

Zelena and Ruby swept into the party like a cyclone, stealing everyone attention. Ruby had left teaching after Henry’s second year. She had never intended to settle down so early, but a steady teaching job with Emma had appealed to her and her Gram needed a reason to stop. 

Zelena brought out the adventure in her and reminded her life was meant to be lived. Ruby got involved in acting as well. The two of them were staring in a stage production of The Price of Salt in the Fall and it was already garnering a lot of buzz. They married last summer in Thailand with a lemur ring bearer. Henry had been delighted.

“I never thought I’d have a family this big,” he said, looking around at the party.

“But you believed you would,” Regina said. 

He looked up at her grinning. “I did.” 

She squeezed his shoulder. “Go enjoy yourself. You don’t have that much summer left.”

He groaned and grumbled about her endless homework, but with a playful smile that she loved so very much. He ran off to join his friends and she watched him for a long minute. She wondered if he knew that she loved his carefree summers as much as he did. 

Her eyes searched out Emma again finding her in the crowd with surprising ease. Mary Margaret and David were over by the food and Emma was now bouncing their newborn with a large grin on her face. Since Mary Margaret had graduated, her relationship with Regina had continued to improve and Emma and Henry had stayed close with her. 

It didn’t stop her from thinking about that morning and an evil smirk appeared on her face. Emma glanced up just in time to catch it. She glanced at Mary Margaret and a blush spread across her face. Regina just hoped the girl was talking about what she thought she was. It would make everything that much better. 

She was obsessed with the idea that the pair should have another child completely ignoring their disinterest. Mary Margaret had taken an intense interest in their lives since the pregnancy and it bothered her more than she liked to admit so she covered it with mild irritation. The girl’s meddling would always remind Regina of the evolution of the Evil Queen even with so many years in between. Perhaps if she had had a few more years of teaching under her belt, it wouldn’t have been so damning.

Her eyes turned to her blonde best friend, linked arm and arm with her now husband, Frederick. She didn’t think it would be long before Kathryn started having children. She said her hellos and shoved her friend in the direction of their former student and awkward new mother. Emma handed over the baby to Kathryn with a smile and made her way to her lover.

“I still can't believe you get to live in the Evil Queen’s castle!” Emma overheard some freckle faced kid say to Henry as she passed them on way over to Regina.

“I thought we dropped the Evil part awhile ago,” Emma threw at them as she was walking by. 

“You haven't had to take Potions with her. Her homework is evil,” Henry yelled after her. Regina cocked an eyebrow at him, but he just stuck his tongue out at her. 

Emma slid her arm around Regina and squeezed her side playfully. “He’s your son,” Regina said with a not-so serious glare. 

Emma just grinned. “He is. Isn’t he?”

 

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The hot August sun beat down on his skin as he watched some of his classmates toss around a Quaffle in the massive yard of the Mills’ Manor. As much as he liked being on a broom, he never ended up getting into Quidditch even with Emma’s endless encouragement. He remembered the first time he saw the yard. He’d felt like little orphan Annie with his very own misunderstood Daddy Warbucks. It had been overwhelming at first, but his mom had been just as awkward and that made him relax. Miss Swan or Emma as she insisted he call her outside of school had been around a lot that summer, taking them on day trips and being there.

He remembered their faces when they told him about their relationship. They had been terrified and he had just laughed at them. 

The original Drama Club was there in its entirety minus two of the original troublemakers. Gold had been invited. Belle and Gold had told him they had flown in just for this. He had been stupidly hurt when Gold had been involved in the sabotage scheme of the first play. Gold had been nice to him when Milah and Hook weren’t around and he had been so disappointed in him. He grew up though. Belle sent him letters from their travels studying antiquities around the world. 

A tiny body attached itself to his legs and he heard his Aunt Tamara yelling across the party at the gangly toddler latched on to him. He waved at her and she threw her arms into the air in exasperation. He swung his number one fan up onto his hip and immediately felt a sticky hand on his neck. He suddenly hoped his mothers weren’t planning another child as he shuddered wondering what the sticky substance was that was now gracing his skin. 

Clapping toward the house drew their attention back toward the house. Emma carried out a giant cake with a huge grin. He knew this day was for Emma just as much as it was for him. It was special being surrounded by people that loved you and wanted you around. Wanted to celebrate with you. The two of them knew it better than most. They didn’t take it for granted. His other mother didn’t either.

He knew she had been the one that planned the day. He didn’t know too much about how she had grown up, but in his summer and holiday wanderings through the house he had seen enough to have an idea. Wizarding pictures gave away more than Muggle ones. Small flinches and fear were easier to see especially for him. The way his Aunt Zelena and his mother talked about their mother didn’t always paint the beautiful picture that his mother tried to tell him. He’d asked Emma about it once and she had gotten quiet. He didn’t ask again. He just tried to love his mother better.

He smiled down at the child in his arms and bounced her. “Are you ready for some cake?” he asked, pitching his voice up. She squealed in excitement and squirmed in his arms as he went over to join his mothers. The crowd parted to allow him into the center of excitement. Arms opened to him. His Aunt Tamara swept his cousin from his arms and he fell into his mothers without a care for the opinions of his friends. Anyone that cared about him knew how much this all mattered to him.

His mother handed him a large knife with a warning to be careful. He shook his head at her before taking Emma’s hand. “Together?”

“Always,” she said, guiding his hand over the cake and cutting the first slice. It was much too large, but it was a large cake and Emma handed it to him indulgently before cutting her own gigantic piece. He saw his mom rolling her eyes behind her.

Neal took over the cutting and dispensing of the cake and Henry settled in with his friends to eat. He really liked the man and it had been easy to call him an uncle. He’d discovered early that Neal was exceptionally gifted with a fake sword. 

His family had become a fixture he never expected. He suddenly had cousins and an older guy friend he could confide in about things he didn’t want to talk about with his moms. Tamara treated him like her own from the start. It was a lot. It was good. Neal made his moms laugh. He’d known Emma just as long as his mom and had loads of stories to tell and Tamara and his mom got into these intense discussions about magic he barely understood. It was great.

Henry dug into his cake and looked up at the low summer sun. He used to hate summers. During the school year, he had something to do to distract himself. Summers were always so empty. He’d hear about all the cool summer trips the other kids were taking and know a trip to the zoo was the best he could hope for. 

He had been so worried about leaving Hogwarts that first year. Each spell he cast seemed to put distance between his old awful life and this new amazing one, but he knew disappointment was the only thing waiting for him that summer. His mother rescued him from that and gave him so much more than he dreamed possible.

He spotted them whispering quietly, away from everyone. They’d both been hijacked by students and guests for most of the day and he was glad they were getting a minute to themselves even if Emma was cramming her face with cake. He loved how much they loved each other. They still fought all the time, but they actually tried to work out their differences now. 

It used to scare him when they fought. He remembered how they used to be toward each other and never wanted them to go back to that. They loved each other so much and were becoming a family. He didn’t want to lose either of them and he didn’t want them to lose it either. But after they were always reassuring him and comforting him, wanting him. It was what mothers were supposed to do and they were his mothers.

 

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There's a selfishness to being a childless adult that most people don’t really grasp until a child comes into their lives. Some of Emma’s foster parents hadn't expected the true amount of time it required to care for a child. Each grumble about how time consuming she was had stuck with her and she never let herself become one of those people. She recognized she only had to care for herself and she liked it. She had learned a long time ago that being selfish wasn't necessarily a bad thing. If you didn't care about yourself, who would? 

Selflessness seems like a noble goal and it works on occasion, but you can't spend all your time worrying about the needs of others without leaving time for your own needs. 

Strangely enough her own needs started to seem less important when Henry came into her life. They all lived at school so there was an automatic distance and she didn’t stop being a teacher either. But Henry though. He just became something more. She had worried she would resent the energy he took from the pursuit of her own needs, but Henry had swept into her heart and crushed her worries. Stupid Neal knew what he was talking about.

She cared. A great deal. It almost made her proud of herself which was silly. In the end, she was proud of her heart. It could love someone else as intensely as it loved Regina. She had thought it was impossible for too many years, but it wasn’t. This party had made Regina irritable and a pain in the ass, but Emma felt no resentment. She was just happy. 

Regina had been right. Henry was so like her in many ways. Their biggest difference had slowly been whittled away. He had always been a believer. He had made her one, too. She believed in so many things now. She believed in happy endings. She believed in love. She believed in love so much. She woke with Regina and ended with her as well. She spent her days with students or with Henry. Her every day was so full of it how could she not? 

All was well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sorta had my heart broken in a weird way in the middle of writing this chapter so it's not my best. I hope it does the rest of the story justice.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. I started this around this time last year and it got me through some rough times. 
> 
> I just want to say a special thanks to Drue and Rita for being so awesome. 
> 
> I feel like I missed a lot of opportunities with this story so if you have any scenes you wanted to see shoot me a message on tumblr and I'll see what I can do.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm acautionarytale on Tumblr as well.


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